You know how it is...they only got 6 hours of sleep (waaaay more than ME) and they had to do a report, but they couldn%26#039;t find their shoes, and then they ran out of gas and couldn%26#039;t take the shortcut because there were too many trees and woe is me. I work with one and he makes me extremely tired. Do you know anyone like that?
Do you know anyone who complains a lot and just can%26#039;t seem to enjoy life?
Yes three people.One is a stepdaughter whom is pure drama and miserable.Two a bagger that pouts and complains all the time about what they have to do.Third is a bagger who takes out her anger on everyone when in pain or doesn%26#039;t get her way.Constantly needs to have company and does not know how to entertain herself.
Reply:My mother-in-law. She sounds like she%26#039;s complaining all of the time (she speaks Mandarin so I%26#039;m not always sure).
Reply:my aunt
Reply:oh my, yes.
I try to ignore people like that, I don%26#039;t need to hear all about their self-percieved (that didn%26#039;t make sense, did it? Oh well. lol) misery. listening to that crap just makes me miserable myself.
:O)
Reply:yes i work with about three of them sometimes i think they in competion with each other!
Reply:yes an ex friend. She was always complaining how she had no money, hated her job. She always complained about not getting enough sleep, and the days she was off from work she would get up early and complain some more.
Reply:Yes. She is always miserable, and she loves it. It reminds me of a line from a song be REM...
%26quot;Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline.%26quot;
Just avoid this guy. People like that are contagious.
Reply:damn...i hate that type!
Reply:Me, according to my husband, lol. I was that way when my kids were small, and I was working full time in a high stress job, and not getting much help at home. I ended up quitting the job because after 14 years, I JUST COULDN%26#039;T TAKE IT ANYMORE. It was a busy Cardiac unit in the local Hospital, and I was so good at the job, they wouldn%26#039;t let me transfer anywhere else. Nobody wanted to do my job, because it was impossible to keep up with me, and the Nursing unit. Anyway....when I quit the job, was when I realized what I had been putting my kids and husband through those last few years, because I was so keyed up all the time. I was the %26quot;Brunette B*tch from H*ll%26quot; every Sunday, because of the anxiety of having to work the next 3 days. (12 hour shifts)
My poor kids, I felt so bad for them, after I relaxed and realized what I had been putting them through. I was lucky and able to get another job right away, that was much less stressful, in one of the Dr,%26#039;s offices.
I have to admit I am one of those people who has the worst luck in the world getting anywhere on time, but it has gotten better since I quit working. It seems like something always happens, to slow me down when I%26#039;m trying to get somewhere. Without fail. I would even allow extra time for the inevitable disaster as I was leaving the house, and would still wind up being late, because of some stupid drivers on the way to work. Everybody learned to accept it, pretty funny really, but they all knew I was trying, and I hate drama in my life, but it seems to find me anyway. I used to say %26quot;I tried to leave Murphy behind when I moved to the southeast, but the little bugger followed me anyway%26quot;, lol.
I wasn%26#039;t one to complain a lot, but just chronically late. Usually not by more than 10 mins.
Reply:Hell yeah.. My ex best friend.. this guy use to complain about everything I did when we played games.. hated for me to win.. and complained about every way I did it too.. I use to be like what the hell man..
Reply:yes an its ridiculous
myspace
Monday, April 20, 2009
Have you ever gotten whipped as a child?
With what? A belt, paddle, tree branch, twitch, fly swatter, bare hands, fists, shoes, (unspecified)______?
I got whipped with all of that when I was a kid. Now I notice that kids beat their parents up %26amp; think it%26#039;s funny. I used to be terrorized by getting whippings. Now you see a 3-yr. old kid getting whipped %26amp; they laugh %26amp; then the parents get CPS called on them. I%26#039;m so afraid to have kids because of how much trouble it%26#039;s easy to get into now. Things that were right back in the day are wrong now. %26amp; nowadays I see how parents call their kids bitches %26amp; hoes. It%26#039;s ridiculous!
Have you ever gotten whipped as a child?
I got beat with a belt (the buckle, not the strap), a shoe, a tree branch, got punched in the face, beer bottles thrown at me, choked, spit on, had a gun held to my head...shall I keep going? And I turned out jusssst fiiiiine. Yes, just fine.
I%26#039;m not against a good a ss whooping (not beatings like I got as a kid) because I think snot nosed little punks deserve it. I dare my kids to call the cops when I lay the smack down on them. You want to call 911 because I slapped your rear end? Go ahead. Do it. I%26#039;m still going to whoop your a ss though.
Reply:Yeah it is rediculous. I just got spanked when I was a kid. No whippings, but my parents threatened to. Now it seems like you can%26#039;t even ground your kid without child services getting on your ***. I feel that way, and I don%26#039;t even have kids yet. I can%26#039;t imagine how it will be when I do. It won%26#039;t keep me from wanting to have them though. Actually, my wife will have them, I%26#039;ll just help raise them. It%26#039;s not really physically possible for me to, ah, you know what I mean.
Reply:I got whipped with whatever was in the reach of my parents....
Reply:U forgot extension cords and sometimes my parents were lazy and just threw the phone, shoes or the remote at me
Reply:i don%26#039;t have any kids --- i%26#039;m so happy i don%26#039;t have any kids
i got hit a lot by my parents when i was a kid
i don%26#039;t know what it all means
it just seems to me that when you have a kid you got to become a parent---and too many people with kids don%26#039;t want to be parents
that%26#039;s why i don%26#039;t have any kids---i don%26#039;t know what the s-hell to do with my own life
Reply:Yes. I%26#039;ve been whipped by the belt of my Dad.
Reply:yes with a belt and anything else that was around
Reply:Yes, lots of times. With belts, switches, hands, brushes, combs, extension cords.
Reply:yeah, kids today have the government giving rights and not the parents. Its as if once the kid is born you must raise them but under what the goverment feels is best for the child not the parents
Reply:Seriously, I have been whipped w/ everything you mentioned. We even had to go outside and get the branch, so we would try to pick a flimsy one.
PS. I forgot about the extension cords...those hurt the most.
Reply:At most, I was chased around the house and my mum would smack my butt. Other than that, it was my ears that practically bled, hearing my mother nag.
My dad%26#039;s presence was already scary enough for me. Hahah XD
Reply:Oh yes I got good spanking , a bamboo stick when I was out of line. My hands got smack if I touched things that is not mine. If I answered my elders is a disrespectfull tone I got good spanking. I don%26#039;t regret the whipped,now that I am an adult I am high moral person. My late husband said that my parents raised me very well .
Reply:I was whipped like a red headed step child. You name it I got hit with it and I turned out alright.
Reply:yeah it was bare hands but I always laughed at it. Parents don%26#039;t know how to treat their kids and america won%26#039;t let them properly discipline their kids either.
Reply:I got whipped with a billiard stick on my calf and the bruise lasted for more than 3 years. I couldn%26#039;t wear short pants in summer...
Reply:yes and with a belt, it hurt!
Reply:wtf
ive never been hit or whipped or anything... but i respected my parents and never called them anything bad like that!
discipline doesnt have to be physical.. maybe the kids in my family are just extraordinary compared to normal kids
Reply:only whipped cream lol
sorry i know this is probly a serious question
Reply:All the above plus skipping ropes, frying pans and pot lids. My parents were freaks!
Reply:Spare the rod and spoil the child....You can whip a child without being cruel.............Prison is time out for adults.......Nuf Said
Reply:A leather belt %26amp; one of those hard (not flimsy) wire coat hangers was my mamas weapon of choice.
Reply:I got spanking when I was a child with belts, flip flops, fly swatters and bare hands. I really needed motst of them and I also think that many children are disrespectful. I spank my children with my hand and I don%26#039;t care who knows. I dare someone to call cps on me. I never hurt them but I have taught them to respect me and do what i tell them too.
Reply:I got bare butt spankings
and my grandmother, who I stayed with a few days a week, would us a fly swatter.
Reply:My mom always had a hot wheels race car track....can you say %26quot;STING!!!%26quot;? I didnt get spanked often simply b/c I rarely did anything wrong just b/c I didnt want to disappoint my parents. I dont spank my kids, and my kids dont beat me up nor are they disrespectful to me or anyone else for that matter. That%26#039;s because I am raising them right, if you raise your kids right, you dont have to worry about CPS. I%26#039;m not saying it is wrong or right to spank kids...it%26#039;s what works best for you and your family...I%26#039;m just saying that it is possible to raise good kids without spanking them.
Reply:I was never whipped. I had/have unlimited respect for my parents. They taught me right from wrong, without hitting me.
I have a five year old, he%26#039;s wonderful. He will never get hit by me or his father... he%26#039;s respectful, he%26#039;s intelligent, and he is being taught right from wrong.
I think it takes more effort to teach your children then it does to whip them.
I think hitting kids is abuse whether you call it discipline or not, it%26#039;s abuse. If a man hits his wife, it%26#039;s not discipline it%26#039;s abuse. If I hit you, it%26#039;s not discipline it%26#039;s abuse. Period.
Don%26#039;t hit your kids, it%26#039;s just so wrong on so many levels.
Reply:That%26#039;s what%26#039;s wrong with today%26#039;s kids. My folks tore my butt up everytime I did wrong. But they never hit me in anger. Mom was the worse with her %26quot;switches%26quot; and she always went for the legs (ouch). But I deserved every one of my %26quot;lessons%26quot; and I%26#039;m grateful to this day for each one I got.
Reply:My parents did not beat me up savagely or anything but I was punished every now and the when I really went over the edge. I don%26#039;t think I would agree many of the times since I wasn%26#039;t such a bad child, every people that met me as a child will tell you that, in fact, they told my parents that. Still I have sisters and there were problems, we use to quarrel over almost anything and being the only boy I would get beat up, once I even had my face on a bucket for few seconds several times for arguing with my sister. Thing is, we would yell really loud and my mother just hated neighbours to listen to our insults out loud. I would never do anthing the sort to my children, if I ever have them that is. Anyway, that only happened once I I reckon we were driving my mother crazy, still I shouldn%26#039;t have been doing that since I was trying to make my sister understand that our parrot was not a toy.
My parents use their hands and legs to hit me, but generally I didn%26#039;t feel much pain since I was a chubby child, many times they would beat me harder because I would laugh for not feeling almost anything. Oh, I remember that one they used broom or something like that.
viruses
I got whipped with all of that when I was a kid. Now I notice that kids beat their parents up %26amp; think it%26#039;s funny. I used to be terrorized by getting whippings. Now you see a 3-yr. old kid getting whipped %26amp; they laugh %26amp; then the parents get CPS called on them. I%26#039;m so afraid to have kids because of how much trouble it%26#039;s easy to get into now. Things that were right back in the day are wrong now. %26amp; nowadays I see how parents call their kids bitches %26amp; hoes. It%26#039;s ridiculous!
Have you ever gotten whipped as a child?
I got beat with a belt (the buckle, not the strap), a shoe, a tree branch, got punched in the face, beer bottles thrown at me, choked, spit on, had a gun held to my head...shall I keep going? And I turned out jusssst fiiiiine. Yes, just fine.
I%26#039;m not against a good a ss whooping (not beatings like I got as a kid) because I think snot nosed little punks deserve it. I dare my kids to call the cops when I lay the smack down on them. You want to call 911 because I slapped your rear end? Go ahead. Do it. I%26#039;m still going to whoop your a ss though.
Reply:Yeah it is rediculous. I just got spanked when I was a kid. No whippings, but my parents threatened to. Now it seems like you can%26#039;t even ground your kid without child services getting on your ***. I feel that way, and I don%26#039;t even have kids yet. I can%26#039;t imagine how it will be when I do. It won%26#039;t keep me from wanting to have them though. Actually, my wife will have them, I%26#039;ll just help raise them. It%26#039;s not really physically possible for me to, ah, you know what I mean.
Reply:I got whipped with whatever was in the reach of my parents....
Reply:U forgot extension cords and sometimes my parents were lazy and just threw the phone, shoes or the remote at me
Reply:i don%26#039;t have any kids --- i%26#039;m so happy i don%26#039;t have any kids
i got hit a lot by my parents when i was a kid
i don%26#039;t know what it all means
it just seems to me that when you have a kid you got to become a parent---and too many people with kids don%26#039;t want to be parents
that%26#039;s why i don%26#039;t have any kids---i don%26#039;t know what the s-hell to do with my own life
Reply:Yes. I%26#039;ve been whipped by the belt of my Dad.
Reply:yes with a belt and anything else that was around
Reply:Yes, lots of times. With belts, switches, hands, brushes, combs, extension cords.
Reply:yeah, kids today have the government giving rights and not the parents. Its as if once the kid is born you must raise them but under what the goverment feels is best for the child not the parents
Reply:Seriously, I have been whipped w/ everything you mentioned. We even had to go outside and get the branch, so we would try to pick a flimsy one.
PS. I forgot about the extension cords...those hurt the most.
Reply:At most, I was chased around the house and my mum would smack my butt. Other than that, it was my ears that practically bled, hearing my mother nag.
My dad%26#039;s presence was already scary enough for me. Hahah XD
Reply:Oh yes I got good spanking , a bamboo stick when I was out of line. My hands got smack if I touched things that is not mine. If I answered my elders is a disrespectfull tone I got good spanking. I don%26#039;t regret the whipped,now that I am an adult I am high moral person. My late husband said that my parents raised me very well .
Reply:I was whipped like a red headed step child. You name it I got hit with it and I turned out alright.
Reply:yeah it was bare hands but I always laughed at it. Parents don%26#039;t know how to treat their kids and america won%26#039;t let them properly discipline their kids either.
Reply:I got whipped with a billiard stick on my calf and the bruise lasted for more than 3 years. I couldn%26#039;t wear short pants in summer...
Reply:yes and with a belt, it hurt!
Reply:wtf
ive never been hit or whipped or anything... but i respected my parents and never called them anything bad like that!
discipline doesnt have to be physical.. maybe the kids in my family are just extraordinary compared to normal kids
Reply:only whipped cream lol
sorry i know this is probly a serious question
Reply:All the above plus skipping ropes, frying pans and pot lids. My parents were freaks!
Reply:Spare the rod and spoil the child....You can whip a child without being cruel.............Prison is time out for adults.......Nuf Said
Reply:A leather belt %26amp; one of those hard (not flimsy) wire coat hangers was my mamas weapon of choice.
Reply:I got spanking when I was a child with belts, flip flops, fly swatters and bare hands. I really needed motst of them and I also think that many children are disrespectful. I spank my children with my hand and I don%26#039;t care who knows. I dare someone to call cps on me. I never hurt them but I have taught them to respect me and do what i tell them too.
Reply:I got bare butt spankings
and my grandmother, who I stayed with a few days a week, would us a fly swatter.
Reply:My mom always had a hot wheels race car track....can you say %26quot;STING!!!%26quot;? I didnt get spanked often simply b/c I rarely did anything wrong just b/c I didnt want to disappoint my parents. I dont spank my kids, and my kids dont beat me up nor are they disrespectful to me or anyone else for that matter. That%26#039;s because I am raising them right, if you raise your kids right, you dont have to worry about CPS. I%26#039;m not saying it is wrong or right to spank kids...it%26#039;s what works best for you and your family...I%26#039;m just saying that it is possible to raise good kids without spanking them.
Reply:I was never whipped. I had/have unlimited respect for my parents. They taught me right from wrong, without hitting me.
I have a five year old, he%26#039;s wonderful. He will never get hit by me or his father... he%26#039;s respectful, he%26#039;s intelligent, and he is being taught right from wrong.
I think it takes more effort to teach your children then it does to whip them.
I think hitting kids is abuse whether you call it discipline or not, it%26#039;s abuse. If a man hits his wife, it%26#039;s not discipline it%26#039;s abuse. If I hit you, it%26#039;s not discipline it%26#039;s abuse. Period.
Don%26#039;t hit your kids, it%26#039;s just so wrong on so many levels.
Reply:That%26#039;s what%26#039;s wrong with today%26#039;s kids. My folks tore my butt up everytime I did wrong. But they never hit me in anger. Mom was the worse with her %26quot;switches%26quot; and she always went for the legs (ouch). But I deserved every one of my %26quot;lessons%26quot; and I%26#039;m grateful to this day for each one I got.
Reply:My parents did not beat me up savagely or anything but I was punished every now and the when I really went over the edge. I don%26#039;t think I would agree many of the times since I wasn%26#039;t such a bad child, every people that met me as a child will tell you that, in fact, they told my parents that. Still I have sisters and there were problems, we use to quarrel over almost anything and being the only boy I would get beat up, once I even had my face on a bucket for few seconds several times for arguing with my sister. Thing is, we would yell really loud and my mother just hated neighbours to listen to our insults out loud. I would never do anthing the sort to my children, if I ever have them that is. Anyway, that only happened once I I reckon we were driving my mother crazy, still I shouldn%26#039;t have been doing that since I was trying to make my sister understand that our parrot was not a toy.
My parents use their hands and legs to hit me, but generally I didn%26#039;t feel much pain since I was a chubby child, many times they would beat me harder because I would laugh for not feeling almost anything. Oh, I remember that one they used broom or something like that.
viruses
I have a strange feet odor,help me?
My feet sweat a lot,so they usually get stinky
But my feet odor is different from others,that when I put on my shoes,the odor could pass through the shoes
some people who feet stink can be found only when they take off their shoes,why my feet stink when I put on my shoes?
anybody could help me please
I have tried everything i can find,sprinkle baking soda,soak feet in vinegar,black tea,wash feet in antibacteria soap,tea tree oil,nothing works
I have a strange feet odor,help me?
You sound like a very intelligent person being you have tried all the things you mention in your last paragraph.
If you don%26#039;t see a visible lesions on the tissue of the skin, like redness abnormal discoloration then I don%26#039;t think that you would have to worry. (If you think that the skin on the surface does not look normal then you should have a doctor check out your feet as there are many different forms of cell and skin cancer like %26quot;melanoma%26quot;.
1) you can put antibacterial foot powder on your feet
2) if your shoes are not pure leather they will not breathe and of course your feet always sweat.
3) Important not to wear shoes that are non-leather as they do not breathe. (Especially tennis shoes, or other shoes of that nature). If you do wear these types of shoes, change often to leather shoes or just sandal%26#039;s with no socks or white socks.
4) Try to wear white socks only as sometimes the die in dark socks will come off onto your toe nails and your skin, making both look black.
5) If all fails I would recommend that you have your personal doctor take a look at your feet to make sure you don%26#039;t have a serious medical problem that is the cause of the smell.
Wish you the very best. And good luck to you with this problem.
Clinical Psychiatrist, France
Reply:You must try and get a product called Physohex. Anti bacterial cleanser. This is very easily treated, with an anti bacterial cleanser (not cream, or powder). You leave it on your feet overnight as well. Hope it works.
Reply:go to the Dr.s office
Reply:have you tried tinactin? and wearing thin, cotton, socks?
Reply:dude try this..wash your feet with soap..then soak it in a lukewarm water with salt and drops of alcohol.do it everyday for least a week.who knows might work??!/or change your pair of shoes
Reply:Why dont you try wearing open toed sandals for a while.
Reply:first of all, make sure you dry your feet completely after you shower (use a hairdryer). get a couple new pair of shoes. the insoles of cheap shoes break down quicker than most. the shoes need to be left out to dry before wearing them again... and I don%26#039;t just mean over night. rotate your shoes. wearing bacterial infected shoes defeats the purpose of keeping your feet clean and healthy (and not stinky).
Reply:Well I would recommend going to the Doctor to getting this problem helped. I can give you some suggestions, But I don%26#039;t know if they would work. I was reading around and came across a webpage where its just about feet care which I would list it as my sources. They have several medications that would help. It is not curable as of what I read from it. Theres also a link where you can ask a doctor. Well now for my recomendation lol I think you should allow your feet to have fresh air instead of wearing closed up shoes all the time wear open shoes, go swimming for a while maybe alot of water on them would help make sure you dry them up good too. I hope the website helps. Best of Luck!
diseases
But my feet odor is different from others,that when I put on my shoes,the odor could pass through the shoes
some people who feet stink can be found only when they take off their shoes,why my feet stink when I put on my shoes?
anybody could help me please
I have tried everything i can find,sprinkle baking soda,soak feet in vinegar,black tea,wash feet in antibacteria soap,tea tree oil,nothing works
I have a strange feet odor,help me?
You sound like a very intelligent person being you have tried all the things you mention in your last paragraph.
If you don%26#039;t see a visible lesions on the tissue of the skin, like redness abnormal discoloration then I don%26#039;t think that you would have to worry. (If you think that the skin on the surface does not look normal then you should have a doctor check out your feet as there are many different forms of cell and skin cancer like %26quot;melanoma%26quot;.
1) you can put antibacterial foot powder on your feet
2) if your shoes are not pure leather they will not breathe and of course your feet always sweat.
3) Important not to wear shoes that are non-leather as they do not breathe. (Especially tennis shoes, or other shoes of that nature). If you do wear these types of shoes, change often to leather shoes or just sandal%26#039;s with no socks or white socks.
4) Try to wear white socks only as sometimes the die in dark socks will come off onto your toe nails and your skin, making both look black.
5) If all fails I would recommend that you have your personal doctor take a look at your feet to make sure you don%26#039;t have a serious medical problem that is the cause of the smell.
Wish you the very best. And good luck to you with this problem.
Clinical Psychiatrist, France
Reply:You must try and get a product called Physohex. Anti bacterial cleanser. This is very easily treated, with an anti bacterial cleanser (not cream, or powder). You leave it on your feet overnight as well. Hope it works.
Reply:go to the Dr.s office
Reply:have you tried tinactin? and wearing thin, cotton, socks?
Reply:dude try this..wash your feet with soap..then soak it in a lukewarm water with salt and drops of alcohol.do it everyday for least a week.who knows might work??!/or change your pair of shoes
Reply:Why dont you try wearing open toed sandals for a while.
Reply:first of all, make sure you dry your feet completely after you shower (use a hairdryer). get a couple new pair of shoes. the insoles of cheap shoes break down quicker than most. the shoes need to be left out to dry before wearing them again... and I don%26#039;t just mean over night. rotate your shoes. wearing bacterial infected shoes defeats the purpose of keeping your feet clean and healthy (and not stinky).
Reply:Well I would recommend going to the Doctor to getting this problem helped. I can give you some suggestions, But I don%26#039;t know if they would work. I was reading around and came across a webpage where its just about feet care which I would list it as my sources. They have several medications that would help. It is not curable as of what I read from it. Theres also a link where you can ask a doctor. Well now for my recomendation lol I think you should allow your feet to have fresh air instead of wearing closed up shoes all the time wear open shoes, go swimming for a while maybe alot of water on them would help make sure you dry them up good too. I hope the website helps. Best of Luck!
diseases
I'm going to the Captains dinner??
My wife and I are NOT dressup type people at all. She is wearing a pant suit, and I%26#039;m wearing a very nice Hawian type shirt ( white with green palm trees ) with dress pants, no socks and dockside shoes...What%26#039;s your thoughts on this?
I%26#039;m going to the Captains dinner??
Jacket and tie my man. Don%26#039;t be surprised if/when the cruise staff stop you on the way in and offer to loan one of each.
Reply:Its a formal dinner. Yeah, im sure there are people who wont( and i%26#039;ve seen a few in thier kmart coordinated from the 70%26#039;s) but 1/2 the fun of the Captains dinner is dressing up. What line are you sialing with? I doubt they will turn you away at the door but most people are in suits and ties, or tux%26#039;s for that matter. Women usually dress like its a very nice wedding or New Years Eve
Reply:Wear what you want to wear. I have been on many cruises and on the formal nights the ship%26#039;s captain may show for dinner rarely. And when he does he is usually sitting at a VIP table with about 10 to 12 other people and the rest of the people in the dining room do not even know he is there and they for sure do not get to interact with him. He may say hello on his way to and/or from his table but the only people whom he is concerned with are those at his table. And I have no idea how those people are chosen. In addition, there are two dinner seatings on most ships and the captain shows for only one so he may not even be in the dining room when you get there. Besides, the formal nights on all cruise ships (except the luxury liners)are requested and not required attire.
Reply:Allthough it is not %26quot;really required%26quot; you should dress better. I can pretty much assure you that the others at your table will be dressed better than you. I%26#039;m not talking a tux and formal gown, but you should dress better.
Reply:The Captain%26#039;s dinner is a formal dinner, which means you should dress in a formal manner. If you are not the %26quot;dress up type%26quot;, then you should plan to dine in the informal dining venue. Or order room service.
Women wear a very dressy pants outfit or a long dress/skirt. Something spangly and sparkly isn%26#039;t out of place. Men wear tuxedos, hopefully, or at least a suit and tie. People who go to the formal dinners on cruises generally do so partly to enjoy the festive atmosphere of everyone being dressed up. People dressed informally or even sloppily detract from that atmosphere. It%26#039;s not %26quot;forbidden%26quot; to do so, but it really isn%26#039;t right.
Reply:If you are going to a formal dinner on a ship, I think you should dress up, even if it is limited to a sport coat and slacks.
To do otherwise may be viewed as inconsiderate.
myspace
I%26#039;m going to the Captains dinner??
Jacket and tie my man. Don%26#039;t be surprised if/when the cruise staff stop you on the way in and offer to loan one of each.
Reply:Its a formal dinner. Yeah, im sure there are people who wont( and i%26#039;ve seen a few in thier kmart coordinated from the 70%26#039;s) but 1/2 the fun of the Captains dinner is dressing up. What line are you sialing with? I doubt they will turn you away at the door but most people are in suits and ties, or tux%26#039;s for that matter. Women usually dress like its a very nice wedding or New Years Eve
Reply:Wear what you want to wear. I have been on many cruises and on the formal nights the ship%26#039;s captain may show for dinner rarely. And when he does he is usually sitting at a VIP table with about 10 to 12 other people and the rest of the people in the dining room do not even know he is there and they for sure do not get to interact with him. He may say hello on his way to and/or from his table but the only people whom he is concerned with are those at his table. And I have no idea how those people are chosen. In addition, there are two dinner seatings on most ships and the captain shows for only one so he may not even be in the dining room when you get there. Besides, the formal nights on all cruise ships (except the luxury liners)are requested and not required attire.
Reply:Allthough it is not %26quot;really required%26quot; you should dress better. I can pretty much assure you that the others at your table will be dressed better than you. I%26#039;m not talking a tux and formal gown, but you should dress better.
Reply:The Captain%26#039;s dinner is a formal dinner, which means you should dress in a formal manner. If you are not the %26quot;dress up type%26quot;, then you should plan to dine in the informal dining venue. Or order room service.
Women wear a very dressy pants outfit or a long dress/skirt. Something spangly and sparkly isn%26#039;t out of place. Men wear tuxedos, hopefully, or at least a suit and tie. People who go to the formal dinners on cruises generally do so partly to enjoy the festive atmosphere of everyone being dressed up. People dressed informally or even sloppily detract from that atmosphere. It%26#039;s not %26quot;forbidden%26quot; to do so, but it really isn%26#039;t right.
Reply:If you are going to a formal dinner on a ship, I think you should dress up, even if it is limited to a sport coat and slacks.
To do otherwise may be viewed as inconsiderate.
myspace
How observant r u???_______quiz____fun 2 do!?
ok do not cheat!!
#1wat is ur bfs eye color?_____________
#2wat is the design in ur shoe sole?___________
#3how many shelves does ur refrigerator have?___________
#4wat color is ur bfs couch?_______________
#5how many trees r in ur backyard?_____________
#6does your teacher wear a wedding ring?____________
#7wat does the tag of your jacket say?____________
#8wat brand of milk do u usally buy?________________
How observant r u???_______quiz____fun 2 do!?
1 green
2 idk
3 three maybe
4 green?
5 too many to count
6 yes
7 hollister prolly
8 walmart brand
Reply:1. brown
2. Squiggles
3. one splitting the fridge in half, three on the door, and three crispers.
4.blue corduroy
5.three full size trees, and two growing
6.no
7.Banf Ridge M/M
8. Original Bay
okkkkk.....
Reply:blue
diamonds
4 and 3 in the door
brown
none
out of school
made in china probably
Kroger is the best
maintenance repairs
#1wat is ur bfs eye color?_____________
#2wat is the design in ur shoe sole?___________
#3how many shelves does ur refrigerator have?___________
#4wat color is ur bfs couch?_______________
#5how many trees r in ur backyard?_____________
#6does your teacher wear a wedding ring?____________
#7wat does the tag of your jacket say?____________
#8wat brand of milk do u usally buy?________________
How observant r u???_______quiz____fun 2 do!?
1 green
2 idk
3 three maybe
4 green?
5 too many to count
6 yes
7 hollister prolly
8 walmart brand
Reply:1. brown
2. Squiggles
3. one splitting the fridge in half, three on the door, and three crispers.
4.blue corduroy
5.three full size trees, and two growing
6.no
7.Banf Ridge M/M
8. Original Bay
okkkkk.....
Reply:blue
diamonds
4 and 3 in the door
brown
none
out of school
made in china probably
Kroger is the best
maintenance repairs
Any one!!! help me make up a funny rap?
well i dont know me and some friends just mess around alot at school and sometimes he does these retarded raps its hilarious well can anyone giveme a short funny rap that rhymes
he has funny teeth he has long hair he skates well we all skate were skaters umm what else he talks funny he puts on some tight tight pants and has crappy shoes
we are at school under the trees some shade and a whole mess of friends
well i said all these things to make fun of him can you try making a funnnnnnnyyyy rapp about him that rhymesss pleaseeee and thank you
Any one!!! help me make up a funny rap?
Look left, look right, if there%26#039;s a car in sight, you%26#039;d better watch out for your butt or you%26#039;ll get a VERY big.....cut. ?????? :] LOL.
Reply:hey sk8ter dude
ur teeth r really jacked
id think there from ur tricks
but they%26#039;re crap
Reply:haha ha. funny. he sounds like me i just get a song and mess it up here goes one i made up from r kelly%26#039;s song i believe i can fly i made this song based on one person i saw.l
i used to think that yall could not find clothes.
but now i know you want those rolls to show.
but now i now the meaning of disguist.
im burning my eyes with al chohol.
if you cant fit it
please dont you wear it
if you dont believe it
look at that roll there
there%26#039;s more but im lazy.lol
Reply:trippin off yay-yo ****** snitchin to the po-po, ***** look like el loco, Pistol play ricochet see where the victim lay Slumped over bleedin, J.F.K
motorcycles
he has funny teeth he has long hair he skates well we all skate were skaters umm what else he talks funny he puts on some tight tight pants and has crappy shoes
we are at school under the trees some shade and a whole mess of friends
well i said all these things to make fun of him can you try making a funnnnnnnyyyy rapp about him that rhymesss pleaseeee and thank you
Any one!!! help me make up a funny rap?
Look left, look right, if there%26#039;s a car in sight, you%26#039;d better watch out for your butt or you%26#039;ll get a VERY big.....cut. ?????? :] LOL.
Reply:hey sk8ter dude
ur teeth r really jacked
id think there from ur tricks
but they%26#039;re crap
Reply:haha ha. funny. he sounds like me i just get a song and mess it up here goes one i made up from r kelly%26#039;s song i believe i can fly i made this song based on one person i saw.l
i used to think that yall could not find clothes.
but now i know you want those rolls to show.
but now i now the meaning of disguist.
im burning my eyes with al chohol.
if you cant fit it
please dont you wear it
if you dont believe it
look at that roll there
there%26#039;s more but im lazy.lol
Reply:trippin off yay-yo ****** snitchin to the po-po, ***** look like el loco, Pistol play ricochet see where the victim lay Slumped over bleedin, J.F.K
motorcycles
What is your zodiac sign? Does any of this describe you?
Aries
Aries have ramlike eyebrows and smug expressions. They should not be quite so smug because they are constantly clunking themselves in the skull. Cat Stevens%26#039; %26quot;Hard Headed Woman%26quot; was probably an Aries. Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don%26#039;t discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses. Aries folks love Pisceans because Pisces people make them feel well-grounded. Aries love to laugh at the funny moon-people who suck their thumbs at age 35. Aries use guns to describe philosophical concepts. Whether you live in a palatial estate or a cardboard tepee, you will insist until death that it is exactly what you always wanted. Most Aries were concrete parking bumpers in at least two of their past lives. Aries are never born.
They skip gaily from their mothers%26#039; wombs. This may even involve rollerblades. The Aries makes life decisions as a toddler. Aries marry several times for funnies but never divorce. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or crippling injury. Being infallible, God is probably an Aries. This would make Satan an Aquarius. Aries always hold management positions. If one is assigned to clean toilets, he will form a one-man union. Then he will go and picket in the parking lot. All of you think you%26#039;re Lech Walesa. People run away when an Aries comes around. They know that if they do not, the Aries will set them on fire. Aries hate listening to Scorpios talk because they take pride in being even more self-centered. In fact, much to the Scorpios%26#039; dismay, you are the biggest pricks in the zodiac. Your rams%26#039; horns are in everyone else%26#039;s asses.
Taurus
You are brooding emotion incarnate. One minute you%26#039;re up, the next you%26#039;re down, the next you%26#039;ve shot your favorite newscaster in the kneecaps, %26quot;just %26#039;cuz.%26quot;. You%26#039;re very earthy, which may mean that you don%26#039;t shower as often as most people. Or it may just mean that you like to roll around with your nose in clover and sigh. Taureans love happy movies where everyone is jolly and having fun, but they fight with waiters and get upset with billboards. They like to psychoanalyze their friends but have no real experience with life in general. Taureans mumble while describing philosophical concepts.
The Taurus is a strange bird because he or she holds grudges about things that never actually happened. This may stem from the feelings of inadequacy resulting from being beaten out for first in line in the zodiac by Aries. That is the Taurean self-image, always second best. However, they are undoubtedly the best at feeling like second best. All Taureans want to be God. Unfortunately, God is an Aries. You are generally tough to figure out because you answer every question with a question. Also, you won%26#039;t come out from under the bed. Most Taureans love conflict. If nothing is wrong, then that in itself is something wrong. Some especially like bar fights. If they can%26#039;t get into an actual bar fight, they will make up interesting stories about them which they can tell their friends right before they psychoanalyze them. If it weren%26#039;t for Bazooka Joe and The Family Circus, Taureans wouldn%26#039;t know what to do. You feel that you are going nowhere in life. You are probably right. Milwaukee is full of Taureans. Taureans are impatient and pushy. They are in a tremendous hurry to get to the nowhere that they intend to go to. They make little dioramas of their homes, complete with tiny effigies of the people they know, and act out scenarios of the way things would be if they were God.
Gemini
Everyone loves a Gemini because everyone loves a schizophrenic. You like to think that you are a half-and half mixture of Socrates and Michelangelo, but in reality it%26#039;s more like Prince and Bea Arthur. You are progressive, outgoing, and one of the most popular rides at Cedar Point. However, you can and will negate all of this by the time you%26#039;re finished reading this sentence. Geminis drive funny cars. They often drive them into trees or buildings. Geminis are pushy and overbearing. They pick fights with small children and moon people at weddings. They like to use Libras as punching bags. A bisexual Gemini is a walking double date. The rest are hermaphrodites. Geminis vandalize their own houses.
Geminis use far-fetched analogies to describe philosophical concepts. Geminis rarely compete in the Olympics. When they do, it is usually pool or air hockey. Frogger turns up as well. Geminis are always on some sort of medication. This medication is not always legal. Gemini is Latin for %26quot;I%26#039;m okay, I%26#039;m okay.%26quot; Geminis speak very loudly in order to be heard. This is unfortunate as they are nearly always talking to themselves. In fact, they often pick animated arguments with themselves in the bathtub. The most famous Gemini in history is Orville and Wilbur Wright. Geminis are frequently abidextrous, which means that they can pick both sides of their noses at the same time. The Gemini is essentially nothing more than a paranoid Aquarius.
Cancer
You like to know what%26#039;s going on in the lives of everyone in the galaxy. However, you tend not know know what%26#039;s going on in your own. If you are lucky, your friends will tell you. Cancerians only get dressed because they have to, and their fashion sense can only be described as %26quot;erratic.%26quot; You are more likely than any other sign in the zodiac (except Pisces, who does not iron) to iron your clothes by sleeping with them sandwiched between the mattress and box-spring. Likewise, you can stretch one pair of underwear out for almost a month. Your home is like your very own Biodome, and you can remain indoors for months at a time. Despite your need to be everyone%26#039;s savior, you need no social interaction. SWAT teams often show up, mistakenly thinking there%26#039;s a hostage situation.
A Cancer is like a walking Ladies%26#039; Home Journal, quick on the draw with shortcake recipes and helpful hints on how to talk to your teen. Whether they know it or not, they are all born with an exceptional talent for cross-stitch. So much for buying the world a Coke - they would breast-feed the world if they could. This trait is not gender-specific. You will never excel in sports because you have to rest for fifteen minutes every time you breathe. You do not mind, since you plan to conduct your career from the comfort of your own bed. You maintain your questionable health through a steady diet of Ho-Ho%26#039;s and beer. You also imbibe a great deal of Pepto-Bismol in order to confuse your numerous ulcers. People walk on you often. Actually, not often - all the time. If you think someone is screwing you, you%26#039;re probably right. The most entertaining thing about this is that you like it. You strive to be a doormat. Cancerians coin their own words to describe philosophical concepts. This is why it is no surprise that George W. Bush is a Cancer. Cancerians have minimal influence over their friends, even though they show up with homemade soup to remedy every minor or major tragedy. However, they wield their power through the fact that they know what everyone is thinking at any given time. This is why they are never invited to parties. Cancerians claim to be %26quot;tactful%26quot;. The word for this is actually %26quot;shiftless%26quot;. Cancerians are always appointed to take their drunken, drooling friends home. These friends are usually Pisceans
Leo
You will grab attention in any way you possibly can. Self-immolation is not out of the question. You like to kiss mirrors a lot. Genghis Khan was a Leo, and so is Barney the Dinosaur. People still love Lucy, but less because she was a Leo. Leos will interrupt conversation to talk, and they will place themselves bodily in the way of someone who is trying to leave before the Leo is finished saying what he or she needs to say. All Leos want parades on their birthdays. Leos never marry because no one is good enough for them. If they do marry, they keep their spouses locked under the bathroom sink. They need physical affection at all times; unfortunately, they can%26#039;t find any because everyone thinks they are irritating punks. This is why so many of the people arrested for necrophilia are Leos.
A Leo uses himself as an example of the Overman in order to describe philosophical concepts. Some Leos decide to be homosexual even if they aren%26#039;t, because they think this gives them shock value. It actually means that neither gender will want to hook up with them. In actuality, anything besides a romantic evening with themselves is considered a step down for the Leo. Leos open doors by screaming at them. They expect their Clappers to applaud when they enter a room. Leos are said to resemble lions. This means that they are loud, have cleft upper lips and slimy noses, and s**t under trees as they walk. They snack on monkeys while watching %26quot;Entertainment Tonight%26quot;. Humility frightens Leos. That is why Jesus was a Capricorn, Buddha was an Aries, and so forth. However, %26quot;radical cult leader%26quot; is not out of the question. Leos like to start fights with Aries. They will stomp and bloody each other regardless of whether or not they are in public. In fact, the Leos usually prefer it. You will see these fights taking place at bars, sporting events, fashion shows, or Taco Bell. If you are a clever Capricorn, you will sell tickets. Don%26#039;t worry about hanging posters--Leo will take care of that in advance. Aquarians hang posters of rock stars on their walls. Scorpios hang posters of famous disasters on their walls. Capricorns hang posters of great mathematicians on their walls. Pisceans hang posters of unicorns on their walls. Leos hang posters of themselves on their walls.
Virgo
You are a pain in the ***. You regulate your breathing and color-coordinate the clothes in your closet. No Virgo in history has ever belched. Virgos clean every square inch of everything they own twice daily with a toothbrush. Everything has its place, and yours is on the floor scrubbing with a magnifying glass, checking for germs. Obsessive-compulsive disorder? A nice euphemism for the word %26quot;Virgo%26quot;. Virgos use pointers and elaborate charts to describe philosophical concepts. You commit a lot of drive-by shootings. When you are questioned, you tell the police that it was because %26quot;the bastard had a filthy car%26quot;. The police usually let you go because they are Virgos too. It is easy to freak out a Virgo. Tell them they have something between their teeth. Then watch them scrub frantically at the imaginary thing. Virgos are a hell of a lot of fun for assholes like us. Hell for a Virgo is being locked up in an elevator for eternity with a naked Aquarius. That is because in hell, Aquarians are allowed to bring beer, which they leave all over the floor.
Virgos, however, have to surrender their brooms and squeegees to God. Virgos also have a hard time coping when they find out there%26#039;s something under the fridge. But it%26#039;s usually just a depressed Taurus. Virgos have read enough Hints from Heloise to know that the depressed Taurus can be coaxed out from under the fridge with a banana wine cooler. Virgos don%26#039;t see the world in shades of black and white. They see it in shades of clean and dirty. Cat hair makes Virgos foam at the mouth. Virgos are cool because they will do your laundry for you. They%26#039;ll separate everything by color and fabric until it consists of fourteen loads of three things apiece. Then they will put them in the washer in alphabetical order by name of manufacturer. Virgos are often found opening and shutting the refrigerator door, attempting to trick the light inside. Don%26#039;t put cheese where it doesn%26#039;t belong in a Virgo%26#039;s refrigerator. He or she will go Jack Torrence on your ***. You will be stabbed with a cuticle pusher. Jack Torrence was probably a Virgo in the first half of %26quot;The Shining%26quot;. After that, he went all Leo.
Libra
You are oh-so-elegant and tasteful to the point of incurring nausea from loved ones. You are also bipolar as hell and can%26#039;t make a decision on your own. You usually consult your therapist or TV Guide. Libras are trendy and malleable folks. They are funny because they will glom onto something they hated before if it suddenly becomes fashionable. Velour is not entirely lost upon these people. Libras eat a lot of ethnic food from cultures they don%26#039;t understand. They single-handedly started the cappucino movement. Ask them why, and they will claim something unintelligible about solidarity. You constantly worry about what other people think. If you really paid any attention, maybe people would like you more. Libras use quotes from David Mamet plays to describe philosophical concepts. Then they have those concepts engraved upon nice little wallet cards.
The Libran interest in current events ends with the J. Crew catalog. They don%26#039;t eat fast food or have any clue where their trash goes. They have other people tie their expensive shoes. Only two Libras have ever been found in thrift stores. All of their bell-bottoms were color-coordinated to match their lamé turtlenecks. Libras are always on the cutting edge of what the rest of us think is absolute pretentious bulls**t. They have huge collections of CDs they%26#039;ve never even listened to. Libras give to designer charities. Hollywood is full of Libras. You are the reason butterfly hairpins and parachute pants have made a comeback. Next on the list is those big jam shorts. You probably never threw out your old pair. Hang on to your Winger t-shirt too. Get a Libra as drunk as possible and he or she will still be able to explain the difference between café latté and café au lait. This is peculiar as the rest of us know that there is no difference at all.
Scorpio
You got into computers early so you could use made-up, bulls**t terminology and get away with it. Most hackers are Scorpios, as are most people who think they%26#039;re going to find fame on a chat board. You embarrass Libras because you like your coffee straight out of the bag, eaten with a spoon. You may have actually snorted Chock Full o%26#039; Nuts at one time in your life. You take your paranoid beatnik approach to life very seriously. Many Scorpios have found ways to successfully smoke in the shower. Your number-one grudge is about never having been abducted by aliens, or being the victim of a government conspiracy. Most of those fake virus warnings or cash offers from Bill Gates are your attempt to stir something up. Ironically, Bill Gates is a Scorpio. The fully-automated barracks he lives in should clear up any doubt.
Your master plan for world domination will never work because it involves you at the helm. It is hard for you to accept that Star Trek is fiction, and you are not a Borg leader. Scorpios use expletives to describe philosophical concepts. It%26#039;s no wonder that Halloween falls smack in the middle of the Scorpio range. This is the only time of year when fake hauntings, sugar-induced hysteria, and impersonating Dr. Who won%26#039;t get you arrested. Scorpios have strong sex drives, because it gives them yet another opportunity to smoke. Scorpios have much advice to give on matters that are of no concern to them. If you want to find out if someone is a Scorpio, ask them a pertinent question. Five minutes of silence later, the answer will be %26quot;I%26#039;m sorry, what?%26quot; Scorpios are often hairy and feel that this makes them more virile. This is especially true of Scorpio women. Scorpios cheat at the lottery. If it%26#039;s automated, they can hack it.
Sagittarius
Sagittarians are born adventurers. They like smashing spiders with their bare hands and trying to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night with the lights out. They would sooner sustain crippling injury than do anything the easy way. Sagittarians love to entertain their friends, family, and total strangers. This often includes transvesticism. Nearly every Sagittarian was born into the wrong gender. Sagittarians are loud and have no social graces. They seek to offend. Sagittarians usually have nicknames like Thunderpooper or Vomitus Maximus. Animals and small children love Sagittarians. This is unfortunate since adults usually hate them. However, Sagittarians make excellent circus freaks and vagrants. Sagittarians use interpretive dance to describe philosophical concepts. Buttons and bumper stickers with rude sayings on them are a trademark of the Sagittarian. They throw food at expensive restaurants and ask lots of questions in the middle of church.
Don%26#039;t ever bring a Sagittarius home to meet your parents. He or she will tie up your mother and pants your dad. Famous Sagittarians include the Geo Metro. The holiday during which the sun is in Sagittarius is Thanksgiving. This is highly appropriate since everyone eats until they%26#039;re sick and passes out while a bunch of cross-dressers and huge inflatable things wander through the streets of New York, the most Sagittarian town in the universe. The Shriners driving around in the tiny little cars are a very Sagittarian image. Even more so if there%26#039;s a ridiculously busty woman stuffed into the car as well. A Sagittarius is always a better Madonna than Madonna. Men can pull off sequins, and women can pull off construction helmets. The Sagittarius is incapable of being unhip.
Capricorn
Capricorns are hardworking, reliable, and dull as hell. They are always on the move, headed to their next delusion of grandeur. They are often good at math which explains why they are such pains in the ***. René Descartes was a great mathematician and a crappy philosopher, so he must have been a Capricorn. Stephen Hawking is even more Capricorn because he%26#039;s all of the above and a pompous S.O.B. to boot. Sure, he%26#039;s overcome a lot of obstacles etc. etc., but even in perfect health you can%26#039;t overcome being a Capricorn. Most politicians are Capricorns, which is why our country is always in the hole. It is not surprising that politicians need so much security around them all the time. Capricorns are like a strange cross between a Leo and a Virgo. They think that this makes them both charismatic and logical. In reality, it means that they are tight-assed and nitpicky, and have to keep their egos in the backyard.
In the event of nuclear war, only cockroaches and Capricorns would find a way to survive. The rest of us just don%26#039;t want to live in a world like that. The nation%26#039;s ******** system of toll roads was probably designed by a freakin%26#039; Capricorn. They learn how to screw the public over at an early age. Their parents buy them books of law for Christmas so they can underline the loopholes. Capricorns cannot even fathom, much less describe, philosophical concepts because they don%26#039;t involve equations. (See comments about Descartes and Hawking above) Capricorns own lots of Filofaxes and other tools to organize the lives they do not have. They love to be seen talking on their cell phones. These phones are not actually turned on because Capricorns don%26#039;t have any friends to call. Capricorns went out of style in 1989. They still believe that Trump was a visionary. Most of the people arrested for counterfeiting are Capricorns
Aquarius
The Aquarius loves a party. Anytime, anywhere is their motto. It is not unlikely that an Aquarius will consider a wake a good place to meet chicks. Aquarians tend to be nostalgic about the 1960s because that was the last time they could be naked in public and get away with it. Aquarians love to be naked. It is even better if they are naked and crocked. 97.4% of the Night Train consumed in the past thirty years has been consumed by Aquarians. Almost every Aquarian will claim to have seen Jerry Garcia%26#039;s image in their Froot Loops at least once. Froot Loops is a very Aquarian cereal. So is Rice Krispies, since it will engage in a friendly chat with the Aquarian as he or she is eating breakfast. Count Chocula is off-limits, however. It belongs to the Scorpios. Aquarians are the only people in the zodiac who can play volleyball with themselves. And they frequently do.
Aquarians use the phrase %26quot;Dude, man...%26quot; frequently when describing philosophical concepts. Aquarians have out-of-body experiences on a daily basis. If you are talking to an Aquarian and he or she zones out, consider the conversation hopeless. He or she is talking to the guy three feet away from you. Aquarians are fun because they channel people. Plus, if you tell them to, they will run around naked. Aquarians like astronomy because they%26#039;ve been to all those places. If you want to know what the food is like on Saturn, ask an Aquarius. They can also walk on water if they try really really hard. This usually happens in the bathtub. Aquarians can allow themselves every possible vice on the planet, and don%26#039;t think twice about it. That is why they piss everyone else off. They are cosmically entitled to do this. Most rock stars are Aquarians.
Pisces
Everywhere you go, laughter and comedy ensue. This would be great if you were trying to be funny. You are deeply confused by the idea of sex. As far as you are concerned, if it didn%26#039;t happen in %26quot;The Velveteen Rabbit%26quot;, it doesn%26#039;t exist. Piscean women wear long floaty dresses and enormous amounts of unusual silver jewelry. On hikes. Pisceans claim to love the stars, but the only constellation they can find is the Big Dipper. If they cannot find it, they cry. You remember what you were wearing on March 3rd, 1981 but forget your own address. You have no sense of direction. The people you find going in reverse at 70 m.p.h. on the expressway are usually Pisceans. Pisceans are most likely to die by falling out of a window or getting run over by a truck. That is, of course, unless they live with a Cancer.
Pisceans are so zoned and perpetually endangered that they can bring out the maternal instincts of a Leo. Don%26#039;t be fooled, however; many Pisceans can surprise you by kicking your *** and the asses of your four imaginary friends. While Leos tend to achieve the most fame in the field of entertainment, Pisceans strive to achieve historical greatness by sheer fluke. They are proud to tell you that Michelangelo, Galileo, George Washington, and Albert Einstein, none of whom had an agent, were all Pisceans. What they won%26#039;t tell you is that so is Ted Kennedy. Pisceans claim to want %26quot;honest criticism%26quot; of their work. Then they commit hara-kiri on the floor when you say you don%26#039;t like it. Never try to use logic with a Pisces; he or she is living about three feet off of the natural ground or in Narnia. Their tools of debate are non-sequiturs, quotes from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and, of course, crying. It wouldn%26#039;t matter what linguistic devices Pisceans use to describe philosophical concepts because they aren%26#039;t positive they know what they%26#039;re talking about anyway. You cry over dead animals in the road but feel no remorse about mowing down humans you don%26#039;t like. Cancerians say one thing and do another. Scorpios say one thing and do it just for spite. Pisceans say far too much and do whatever the hell they want.
What is your zodiac sign? Does any of this describe you?
I%26#039;m an ARIES, so I guess I%26#039;ll have to set you on fire now!
lol
Reply:im leo thou that dosnt decribe me accurately there are bits i can relate tooo but on the whole although a bit long to reading it all it was sooo funny
Reply:Libra LMAO that`s so funny.
Reply:Capricorn? That%26#039;s me. %26quot;DULL AS HELL%26quot; is not a good way to describe us Capricorns. I%26#039;m smarter than you, BLEH!
Reply:HOW DID U FIT ALL THAT ON WITHOUT ADDING DETAILS? MINE ONLY ALLOWS 1000 CHARACTERS.
EDIT: Sorry my daughter put the caps lock on lol :)
Reply:Go to bed and get some much needed SLEEP!!!
ET
3 of the same questions in a row???
Reply:Not AGAIN!!
Reply:I%26#039;m a Leo and its scary how much it sounds like me. Just kidding :P but I am a Leo
credot siosse
Aries have ramlike eyebrows and smug expressions. They should not be quite so smug because they are constantly clunking themselves in the skull. Cat Stevens%26#039; %26quot;Hard Headed Woman%26quot; was probably an Aries. Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don%26#039;t discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses. Aries folks love Pisceans because Pisces people make them feel well-grounded. Aries love to laugh at the funny moon-people who suck their thumbs at age 35. Aries use guns to describe philosophical concepts. Whether you live in a palatial estate or a cardboard tepee, you will insist until death that it is exactly what you always wanted. Most Aries were concrete parking bumpers in at least two of their past lives. Aries are never born.
They skip gaily from their mothers%26#039; wombs. This may even involve rollerblades. The Aries makes life decisions as a toddler. Aries marry several times for funnies but never divorce. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or crippling injury. Being infallible, God is probably an Aries. This would make Satan an Aquarius. Aries always hold management positions. If one is assigned to clean toilets, he will form a one-man union. Then he will go and picket in the parking lot. All of you think you%26#039;re Lech Walesa. People run away when an Aries comes around. They know that if they do not, the Aries will set them on fire. Aries hate listening to Scorpios talk because they take pride in being even more self-centered. In fact, much to the Scorpios%26#039; dismay, you are the biggest pricks in the zodiac. Your rams%26#039; horns are in everyone else%26#039;s asses.
Taurus
You are brooding emotion incarnate. One minute you%26#039;re up, the next you%26#039;re down, the next you%26#039;ve shot your favorite newscaster in the kneecaps, %26quot;just %26#039;cuz.%26quot;. You%26#039;re very earthy, which may mean that you don%26#039;t shower as often as most people. Or it may just mean that you like to roll around with your nose in clover and sigh. Taureans love happy movies where everyone is jolly and having fun, but they fight with waiters and get upset with billboards. They like to psychoanalyze their friends but have no real experience with life in general. Taureans mumble while describing philosophical concepts.
The Taurus is a strange bird because he or she holds grudges about things that never actually happened. This may stem from the feelings of inadequacy resulting from being beaten out for first in line in the zodiac by Aries. That is the Taurean self-image, always second best. However, they are undoubtedly the best at feeling like second best. All Taureans want to be God. Unfortunately, God is an Aries. You are generally tough to figure out because you answer every question with a question. Also, you won%26#039;t come out from under the bed. Most Taureans love conflict. If nothing is wrong, then that in itself is something wrong. Some especially like bar fights. If they can%26#039;t get into an actual bar fight, they will make up interesting stories about them which they can tell their friends right before they psychoanalyze them. If it weren%26#039;t for Bazooka Joe and The Family Circus, Taureans wouldn%26#039;t know what to do. You feel that you are going nowhere in life. You are probably right. Milwaukee is full of Taureans. Taureans are impatient and pushy. They are in a tremendous hurry to get to the nowhere that they intend to go to. They make little dioramas of their homes, complete with tiny effigies of the people they know, and act out scenarios of the way things would be if they were God.
Gemini
Everyone loves a Gemini because everyone loves a schizophrenic. You like to think that you are a half-and half mixture of Socrates and Michelangelo, but in reality it%26#039;s more like Prince and Bea Arthur. You are progressive, outgoing, and one of the most popular rides at Cedar Point. However, you can and will negate all of this by the time you%26#039;re finished reading this sentence. Geminis drive funny cars. They often drive them into trees or buildings. Geminis are pushy and overbearing. They pick fights with small children and moon people at weddings. They like to use Libras as punching bags. A bisexual Gemini is a walking double date. The rest are hermaphrodites. Geminis vandalize their own houses.
Geminis use far-fetched analogies to describe philosophical concepts. Geminis rarely compete in the Olympics. When they do, it is usually pool or air hockey. Frogger turns up as well. Geminis are always on some sort of medication. This medication is not always legal. Gemini is Latin for %26quot;I%26#039;m okay, I%26#039;m okay.%26quot; Geminis speak very loudly in order to be heard. This is unfortunate as they are nearly always talking to themselves. In fact, they often pick animated arguments with themselves in the bathtub. The most famous Gemini in history is Orville and Wilbur Wright. Geminis are frequently abidextrous, which means that they can pick both sides of their noses at the same time. The Gemini is essentially nothing more than a paranoid Aquarius.
Cancer
You like to know what%26#039;s going on in the lives of everyone in the galaxy. However, you tend not know know what%26#039;s going on in your own. If you are lucky, your friends will tell you. Cancerians only get dressed because they have to, and their fashion sense can only be described as %26quot;erratic.%26quot; You are more likely than any other sign in the zodiac (except Pisces, who does not iron) to iron your clothes by sleeping with them sandwiched between the mattress and box-spring. Likewise, you can stretch one pair of underwear out for almost a month. Your home is like your very own Biodome, and you can remain indoors for months at a time. Despite your need to be everyone%26#039;s savior, you need no social interaction. SWAT teams often show up, mistakenly thinking there%26#039;s a hostage situation.
A Cancer is like a walking Ladies%26#039; Home Journal, quick on the draw with shortcake recipes and helpful hints on how to talk to your teen. Whether they know it or not, they are all born with an exceptional talent for cross-stitch. So much for buying the world a Coke - they would breast-feed the world if they could. This trait is not gender-specific. You will never excel in sports because you have to rest for fifteen minutes every time you breathe. You do not mind, since you plan to conduct your career from the comfort of your own bed. You maintain your questionable health through a steady diet of Ho-Ho%26#039;s and beer. You also imbibe a great deal of Pepto-Bismol in order to confuse your numerous ulcers. People walk on you often. Actually, not often - all the time. If you think someone is screwing you, you%26#039;re probably right. The most entertaining thing about this is that you like it. You strive to be a doormat. Cancerians coin their own words to describe philosophical concepts. This is why it is no surprise that George W. Bush is a Cancer. Cancerians have minimal influence over their friends, even though they show up with homemade soup to remedy every minor or major tragedy. However, they wield their power through the fact that they know what everyone is thinking at any given time. This is why they are never invited to parties. Cancerians claim to be %26quot;tactful%26quot;. The word for this is actually %26quot;shiftless%26quot;. Cancerians are always appointed to take their drunken, drooling friends home. These friends are usually Pisceans
Leo
You will grab attention in any way you possibly can. Self-immolation is not out of the question. You like to kiss mirrors a lot. Genghis Khan was a Leo, and so is Barney the Dinosaur. People still love Lucy, but less because she was a Leo. Leos will interrupt conversation to talk, and they will place themselves bodily in the way of someone who is trying to leave before the Leo is finished saying what he or she needs to say. All Leos want parades on their birthdays. Leos never marry because no one is good enough for them. If they do marry, they keep their spouses locked under the bathroom sink. They need physical affection at all times; unfortunately, they can%26#039;t find any because everyone thinks they are irritating punks. This is why so many of the people arrested for necrophilia are Leos.
A Leo uses himself as an example of the Overman in order to describe philosophical concepts. Some Leos decide to be homosexual even if they aren%26#039;t, because they think this gives them shock value. It actually means that neither gender will want to hook up with them. In actuality, anything besides a romantic evening with themselves is considered a step down for the Leo. Leos open doors by screaming at them. They expect their Clappers to applaud when they enter a room. Leos are said to resemble lions. This means that they are loud, have cleft upper lips and slimy noses, and s**t under trees as they walk. They snack on monkeys while watching %26quot;Entertainment Tonight%26quot;. Humility frightens Leos. That is why Jesus was a Capricorn, Buddha was an Aries, and so forth. However, %26quot;radical cult leader%26quot; is not out of the question. Leos like to start fights with Aries. They will stomp and bloody each other regardless of whether or not they are in public. In fact, the Leos usually prefer it. You will see these fights taking place at bars, sporting events, fashion shows, or Taco Bell. If you are a clever Capricorn, you will sell tickets. Don%26#039;t worry about hanging posters--Leo will take care of that in advance. Aquarians hang posters of rock stars on their walls. Scorpios hang posters of famous disasters on their walls. Capricorns hang posters of great mathematicians on their walls. Pisceans hang posters of unicorns on their walls. Leos hang posters of themselves on their walls.
Virgo
You are a pain in the ***. You regulate your breathing and color-coordinate the clothes in your closet. No Virgo in history has ever belched. Virgos clean every square inch of everything they own twice daily with a toothbrush. Everything has its place, and yours is on the floor scrubbing with a magnifying glass, checking for germs. Obsessive-compulsive disorder? A nice euphemism for the word %26quot;Virgo%26quot;. Virgos use pointers and elaborate charts to describe philosophical concepts. You commit a lot of drive-by shootings. When you are questioned, you tell the police that it was because %26quot;the bastard had a filthy car%26quot;. The police usually let you go because they are Virgos too. It is easy to freak out a Virgo. Tell them they have something between their teeth. Then watch them scrub frantically at the imaginary thing. Virgos are a hell of a lot of fun for assholes like us. Hell for a Virgo is being locked up in an elevator for eternity with a naked Aquarius. That is because in hell, Aquarians are allowed to bring beer, which they leave all over the floor.
Virgos, however, have to surrender their brooms and squeegees to God. Virgos also have a hard time coping when they find out there%26#039;s something under the fridge. But it%26#039;s usually just a depressed Taurus. Virgos have read enough Hints from Heloise to know that the depressed Taurus can be coaxed out from under the fridge with a banana wine cooler. Virgos don%26#039;t see the world in shades of black and white. They see it in shades of clean and dirty. Cat hair makes Virgos foam at the mouth. Virgos are cool because they will do your laundry for you. They%26#039;ll separate everything by color and fabric until it consists of fourteen loads of three things apiece. Then they will put them in the washer in alphabetical order by name of manufacturer. Virgos are often found opening and shutting the refrigerator door, attempting to trick the light inside. Don%26#039;t put cheese where it doesn%26#039;t belong in a Virgo%26#039;s refrigerator. He or she will go Jack Torrence on your ***. You will be stabbed with a cuticle pusher. Jack Torrence was probably a Virgo in the first half of %26quot;The Shining%26quot;. After that, he went all Leo.
Libra
You are oh-so-elegant and tasteful to the point of incurring nausea from loved ones. You are also bipolar as hell and can%26#039;t make a decision on your own. You usually consult your therapist or TV Guide. Libras are trendy and malleable folks. They are funny because they will glom onto something they hated before if it suddenly becomes fashionable. Velour is not entirely lost upon these people. Libras eat a lot of ethnic food from cultures they don%26#039;t understand. They single-handedly started the cappucino movement. Ask them why, and they will claim something unintelligible about solidarity. You constantly worry about what other people think. If you really paid any attention, maybe people would like you more. Libras use quotes from David Mamet plays to describe philosophical concepts. Then they have those concepts engraved upon nice little wallet cards.
The Libran interest in current events ends with the J. Crew catalog. They don%26#039;t eat fast food or have any clue where their trash goes. They have other people tie their expensive shoes. Only two Libras have ever been found in thrift stores. All of their bell-bottoms were color-coordinated to match their lamé turtlenecks. Libras are always on the cutting edge of what the rest of us think is absolute pretentious bulls**t. They have huge collections of CDs they%26#039;ve never even listened to. Libras give to designer charities. Hollywood is full of Libras. You are the reason butterfly hairpins and parachute pants have made a comeback. Next on the list is those big jam shorts. You probably never threw out your old pair. Hang on to your Winger t-shirt too. Get a Libra as drunk as possible and he or she will still be able to explain the difference between café latté and café au lait. This is peculiar as the rest of us know that there is no difference at all.
Scorpio
You got into computers early so you could use made-up, bulls**t terminology and get away with it. Most hackers are Scorpios, as are most people who think they%26#039;re going to find fame on a chat board. You embarrass Libras because you like your coffee straight out of the bag, eaten with a spoon. You may have actually snorted Chock Full o%26#039; Nuts at one time in your life. You take your paranoid beatnik approach to life very seriously. Many Scorpios have found ways to successfully smoke in the shower. Your number-one grudge is about never having been abducted by aliens, or being the victim of a government conspiracy. Most of those fake virus warnings or cash offers from Bill Gates are your attempt to stir something up. Ironically, Bill Gates is a Scorpio. The fully-automated barracks he lives in should clear up any doubt.
Your master plan for world domination will never work because it involves you at the helm. It is hard for you to accept that Star Trek is fiction, and you are not a Borg leader. Scorpios use expletives to describe philosophical concepts. It%26#039;s no wonder that Halloween falls smack in the middle of the Scorpio range. This is the only time of year when fake hauntings, sugar-induced hysteria, and impersonating Dr. Who won%26#039;t get you arrested. Scorpios have strong sex drives, because it gives them yet another opportunity to smoke. Scorpios have much advice to give on matters that are of no concern to them. If you want to find out if someone is a Scorpio, ask them a pertinent question. Five minutes of silence later, the answer will be %26quot;I%26#039;m sorry, what?%26quot; Scorpios are often hairy and feel that this makes them more virile. This is especially true of Scorpio women. Scorpios cheat at the lottery. If it%26#039;s automated, they can hack it.
Sagittarius
Sagittarians are born adventurers. They like smashing spiders with their bare hands and trying to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night with the lights out. They would sooner sustain crippling injury than do anything the easy way. Sagittarians love to entertain their friends, family, and total strangers. This often includes transvesticism. Nearly every Sagittarian was born into the wrong gender. Sagittarians are loud and have no social graces. They seek to offend. Sagittarians usually have nicknames like Thunderpooper or Vomitus Maximus. Animals and small children love Sagittarians. This is unfortunate since adults usually hate them. However, Sagittarians make excellent circus freaks and vagrants. Sagittarians use interpretive dance to describe philosophical concepts. Buttons and bumper stickers with rude sayings on them are a trademark of the Sagittarian. They throw food at expensive restaurants and ask lots of questions in the middle of church.
Don%26#039;t ever bring a Sagittarius home to meet your parents. He or she will tie up your mother and pants your dad. Famous Sagittarians include the Geo Metro. The holiday during which the sun is in Sagittarius is Thanksgiving. This is highly appropriate since everyone eats until they%26#039;re sick and passes out while a bunch of cross-dressers and huge inflatable things wander through the streets of New York, the most Sagittarian town in the universe. The Shriners driving around in the tiny little cars are a very Sagittarian image. Even more so if there%26#039;s a ridiculously busty woman stuffed into the car as well. A Sagittarius is always a better Madonna than Madonna. Men can pull off sequins, and women can pull off construction helmets. The Sagittarius is incapable of being unhip.
Capricorn
Capricorns are hardworking, reliable, and dull as hell. They are always on the move, headed to their next delusion of grandeur. They are often good at math which explains why they are such pains in the ***. René Descartes was a great mathematician and a crappy philosopher, so he must have been a Capricorn. Stephen Hawking is even more Capricorn because he%26#039;s all of the above and a pompous S.O.B. to boot. Sure, he%26#039;s overcome a lot of obstacles etc. etc., but even in perfect health you can%26#039;t overcome being a Capricorn. Most politicians are Capricorns, which is why our country is always in the hole. It is not surprising that politicians need so much security around them all the time. Capricorns are like a strange cross between a Leo and a Virgo. They think that this makes them both charismatic and logical. In reality, it means that they are tight-assed and nitpicky, and have to keep their egos in the backyard.
In the event of nuclear war, only cockroaches and Capricorns would find a way to survive. The rest of us just don%26#039;t want to live in a world like that. The nation%26#039;s ******** system of toll roads was probably designed by a freakin%26#039; Capricorn. They learn how to screw the public over at an early age. Their parents buy them books of law for Christmas so they can underline the loopholes. Capricorns cannot even fathom, much less describe, philosophical concepts because they don%26#039;t involve equations. (See comments about Descartes and Hawking above) Capricorns own lots of Filofaxes and other tools to organize the lives they do not have. They love to be seen talking on their cell phones. These phones are not actually turned on because Capricorns don%26#039;t have any friends to call. Capricorns went out of style in 1989. They still believe that Trump was a visionary. Most of the people arrested for counterfeiting are Capricorns
Aquarius
The Aquarius loves a party. Anytime, anywhere is their motto. It is not unlikely that an Aquarius will consider a wake a good place to meet chicks. Aquarians tend to be nostalgic about the 1960s because that was the last time they could be naked in public and get away with it. Aquarians love to be naked. It is even better if they are naked and crocked. 97.4% of the Night Train consumed in the past thirty years has been consumed by Aquarians. Almost every Aquarian will claim to have seen Jerry Garcia%26#039;s image in their Froot Loops at least once. Froot Loops is a very Aquarian cereal. So is Rice Krispies, since it will engage in a friendly chat with the Aquarian as he or she is eating breakfast. Count Chocula is off-limits, however. It belongs to the Scorpios. Aquarians are the only people in the zodiac who can play volleyball with themselves. And they frequently do.
Aquarians use the phrase %26quot;Dude, man...%26quot; frequently when describing philosophical concepts. Aquarians have out-of-body experiences on a daily basis. If you are talking to an Aquarian and he or she zones out, consider the conversation hopeless. He or she is talking to the guy three feet away from you. Aquarians are fun because they channel people. Plus, if you tell them to, they will run around naked. Aquarians like astronomy because they%26#039;ve been to all those places. If you want to know what the food is like on Saturn, ask an Aquarius. They can also walk on water if they try really really hard. This usually happens in the bathtub. Aquarians can allow themselves every possible vice on the planet, and don%26#039;t think twice about it. That is why they piss everyone else off. They are cosmically entitled to do this. Most rock stars are Aquarians.
Pisces
Everywhere you go, laughter and comedy ensue. This would be great if you were trying to be funny. You are deeply confused by the idea of sex. As far as you are concerned, if it didn%26#039;t happen in %26quot;The Velveteen Rabbit%26quot;, it doesn%26#039;t exist. Piscean women wear long floaty dresses and enormous amounts of unusual silver jewelry. On hikes. Pisceans claim to love the stars, but the only constellation they can find is the Big Dipper. If they cannot find it, they cry. You remember what you were wearing on March 3rd, 1981 but forget your own address. You have no sense of direction. The people you find going in reverse at 70 m.p.h. on the expressway are usually Pisceans. Pisceans are most likely to die by falling out of a window or getting run over by a truck. That is, of course, unless they live with a Cancer.
Pisceans are so zoned and perpetually endangered that they can bring out the maternal instincts of a Leo. Don%26#039;t be fooled, however; many Pisceans can surprise you by kicking your *** and the asses of your four imaginary friends. While Leos tend to achieve the most fame in the field of entertainment, Pisceans strive to achieve historical greatness by sheer fluke. They are proud to tell you that Michelangelo, Galileo, George Washington, and Albert Einstein, none of whom had an agent, were all Pisceans. What they won%26#039;t tell you is that so is Ted Kennedy. Pisceans claim to want %26quot;honest criticism%26quot; of their work. Then they commit hara-kiri on the floor when you say you don%26#039;t like it. Never try to use logic with a Pisces; he or she is living about three feet off of the natural ground or in Narnia. Their tools of debate are non-sequiturs, quotes from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and, of course, crying. It wouldn%26#039;t matter what linguistic devices Pisceans use to describe philosophical concepts because they aren%26#039;t positive they know what they%26#039;re talking about anyway. You cry over dead animals in the road but feel no remorse about mowing down humans you don%26#039;t like. Cancerians say one thing and do another. Scorpios say one thing and do it just for spite. Pisceans say far too much and do whatever the hell they want.
What is your zodiac sign? Does any of this describe you?
I%26#039;m an ARIES, so I guess I%26#039;ll have to set you on fire now!
lol
Reply:im leo thou that dosnt decribe me accurately there are bits i can relate tooo but on the whole although a bit long to reading it all it was sooo funny
Reply:Libra LMAO that`s so funny.
Reply:Capricorn? That%26#039;s me. %26quot;DULL AS HELL%26quot; is not a good way to describe us Capricorns. I%26#039;m smarter than you, BLEH!
Reply:HOW DID U FIT ALL THAT ON WITHOUT ADDING DETAILS? MINE ONLY ALLOWS 1000 CHARACTERS.
EDIT: Sorry my daughter put the caps lock on lol :)
Reply:Go to bed and get some much needed SLEEP!!!
ET
3 of the same questions in a row???
Reply:Not AGAIN!!
Reply:I%26#039;m a Leo and its scary how much it sounds like me. Just kidding :P but I am a Leo
credot siosse
Cloony the Clown-4poetryexperts?
Cloony the Clown
I%26#039;ll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, %26quot;Go back to bed!%26quot;
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, %26quot;I%26#039;ll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown.%26quot;
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With %26quot;Hah-Hah-Hahs%26quot; and %26quot;Hee-Hee-Hees.%26quot;
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, %26#039;cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,%26quot;THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT--
I%26#039;M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT.%26quot;
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.
-- Shel Silverstein
Cloony the Clown-4poetryexperts?
it is the journey with god, the persecutions of the world....the hard teaching to learn by god........
myspace quizzes
I%26#039;ll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, %26quot;Go back to bed!%26quot;
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, %26quot;I%26#039;ll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown.%26quot;
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With %26quot;Hah-Hah-Hahs%26quot; and %26quot;Hee-Hee-Hees.%26quot;
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, %26#039;cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,%26quot;THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT--
I%26#039;M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT.%26quot;
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.
-- Shel Silverstein
Cloony the Clown-4poetryexperts?
it is the journey with god, the persecutions of the world....the hard teaching to learn by god........
myspace quizzes
RHYME SCHEME of this POEM (EASY)?
i love you Persiphone_Hellecat,,,,thank you for EVERYTHING...u have answered like all my questions about poems...you are the best
i need to find the rhyme scheme of this poem
Cloony The Clown by Shel Silverstein
I%26#039;ll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, %26quot;Go back to bed!%26quot;
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, %26quot;I%26#039;ll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown.%26quot;
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With %26quot;Hah-Hah-Hahs%26quot; and %26quot;Hee-Hee-Hees.%26quot;
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, %26#039;cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,%26quot;THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT -
I%26#039;M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT.%26quot;
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.
RHYME SCHEME of this POEM (EASY)?
Hon this is one of my favorite poems. Many years ago, I was a professional circus clown. Anyway - just look at the pattern. The first two lines rhyme == That makes it AA the second two rhyme that is BB and so forth. It is done in quatrains of two rhyming lines. Very simple. Nothing real complicated about Shel. He was a rhyming fool. LOL ... Thanks for your note- just call me Persi and feel free to e mail me anytime. Pax - C.
Reply:When will the world realise that clowns are evil mean creatures?
Reply:Finding the rhyme scheme of a poem like this is really easy. I will explain it and then do a different poem as an example.
Basically, you just use the letters of the alphabet in their order: A, B, C, D, etc..
You go to the first line of the poem, and that automatically gets the letter A. Any other lines that end in a word which rhymes with the last word of the first line also get an A. Jot the A down on a piece of paper, or if you are using a textbook, write it really softly (so you can erase it when done) at the end of the line by your word.
Then you go on to the next line. If the word at the end rhymes with the A word, it gets an A, too. If it does not, you assign the letter B to it. All the last words of lines that rhyme with the word which is assigned the letter B also get a B.
Move on to the next line. If the last word rhymes with your A word, it gets and A. If it rhymes with your B word, it gets a B, and if it is a new rhyme, it gets a C.
You just work through the whole poem that way. If the poem is broken into stanzas, which are like little paragraphs, and which are separated by a line, you start over with the A again on each new stanza. If the poem is just one long work, with no separate stanzas, you just keep going and use up more letters of the alphabet.
I will do the rhyme scheme for another poem so that you can see how it is done. Then you can take my example and apply it to your assigned poem. I will put the letters for the rhyme scheme in parentheses so you can see that they aren%26#039;t part of the poem.
%26quot;Spring and Fall%26quot;
To a young child
Margaret, are you grieving (A)
Over Goldengrove unleaving? (A)
Leaves, like the things of man, you (B)
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you? (B)
Ah! as the heart grows older (C)
It will come to such sights colder (C)
By and by, nor spare a sigh (D)
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie; (D)
And yet you will weep know why. (D)
Now no matter, child, the name: (E)
Sorrow%26#039;s springs are the same. (E)
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed (F)
What heart heard of, ghost guessed: (F)
It is the blight man was born for, (G)
It is Margaret you mourn for. (G)
(By Gerard Manley Hopkins--1880)
So, as you can see from my tracking the rhyme scheme, the scheme for the above poem goes like this:
A
A
B
B
C
C
D
D
D
E
E
F
F
G
G
I hope that helps.
Reply:aa, bb, cc, bb, dd etc. couplets
Reply:AA- Lines 1 %26amp; 2
BB- Lines 3 %26amp; 4
CC-Lines 5 %26amp; 6
DD-Lines 7%26amp; 8...etc.
It goes this way for the entire poem.
horses for loan
i need to find the rhyme scheme of this poem
Cloony The Clown by Shel Silverstein
I%26#039;ll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn%26#039;t, just wasn%26#039;t funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, %26quot;Go back to bed!%26quot;
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, %26quot;I%26#039;ll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown.%26quot;
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With %26quot;Hah-Hah-Hahs%26quot; and %26quot;Hee-Hee-Hees.%26quot;
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, %26#039;cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,%26quot;THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT -
I%26#039;M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT.%26quot;
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.
RHYME SCHEME of this POEM (EASY)?
Hon this is one of my favorite poems. Many years ago, I was a professional circus clown. Anyway - just look at the pattern. The first two lines rhyme == That makes it AA the second two rhyme that is BB and so forth. It is done in quatrains of two rhyming lines. Very simple. Nothing real complicated about Shel. He was a rhyming fool. LOL ... Thanks for your note- just call me Persi and feel free to e mail me anytime. Pax - C.
Reply:When will the world realise that clowns are evil mean creatures?
Reply:Finding the rhyme scheme of a poem like this is really easy. I will explain it and then do a different poem as an example.
Basically, you just use the letters of the alphabet in their order: A, B, C, D, etc..
You go to the first line of the poem, and that automatically gets the letter A. Any other lines that end in a word which rhymes with the last word of the first line also get an A. Jot the A down on a piece of paper, or if you are using a textbook, write it really softly (so you can erase it when done) at the end of the line by your word.
Then you go on to the next line. If the word at the end rhymes with the A word, it gets an A, too. If it does not, you assign the letter B to it. All the last words of lines that rhyme with the word which is assigned the letter B also get a B.
Move on to the next line. If the last word rhymes with your A word, it gets and A. If it rhymes with your B word, it gets a B, and if it is a new rhyme, it gets a C.
You just work through the whole poem that way. If the poem is broken into stanzas, which are like little paragraphs, and which are separated by a line, you start over with the A again on each new stanza. If the poem is just one long work, with no separate stanzas, you just keep going and use up more letters of the alphabet.
I will do the rhyme scheme for another poem so that you can see how it is done. Then you can take my example and apply it to your assigned poem. I will put the letters for the rhyme scheme in parentheses so you can see that they aren%26#039;t part of the poem.
%26quot;Spring and Fall%26quot;
To a young child
Margaret, are you grieving (A)
Over Goldengrove unleaving? (A)
Leaves, like the things of man, you (B)
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you? (B)
Ah! as the heart grows older (C)
It will come to such sights colder (C)
By and by, nor spare a sigh (D)
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie; (D)
And yet you will weep know why. (D)
Now no matter, child, the name: (E)
Sorrow%26#039;s springs are the same. (E)
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed (F)
What heart heard of, ghost guessed: (F)
It is the blight man was born for, (G)
It is Margaret you mourn for. (G)
(By Gerard Manley Hopkins--1880)
So, as you can see from my tracking the rhyme scheme, the scheme for the above poem goes like this:
A
A
B
B
C
C
D
D
D
E
E
F
F
G
G
I hope that helps.
Reply:aa, bb, cc, bb, dd etc. couplets
Reply:AA- Lines 1 %26amp; 2
BB- Lines 3 %26amp; 4
CC-Lines 5 %26amp; 6
DD-Lines 7%26amp; 8...etc.
It goes this way for the entire poem.
horses for loan
What do you think???
We live in an area in the desert with two other homes and a huge recreational lake near by. It is kind of remote and infested with wild animals and rattle snakes. There are mountains, brush, trees and cactus all around. There are also trails for quad riders out here. It is not unusual to find some weird things out here. Tonight we were out on the canal bank road near by and as we went down this road there was a female shoe about a size 5, and then the other one down a little further, then a small pair of female jeans, then a jacket and another small pair of female jeans or the other half of the jeans? It rained last nite and all was muddy and hard to tell. Around the corner is a shirt. But the shirt looks like a man%26#039;s shirt. All of us here have a different opinion on this. I feel it should be reported, but the rest here don%26#039;t think it is anything to worry about. What would you do?
What do you think???
Honestly, I would report it just because then it is off your shoulders and that is why the police are there. It is probably nothing, but better safe than sorry, eh? And they can tell most of the time just by looking at the items left behind if there was a crime!
Reply:a couple probably just had wild sex in the woods.
Reply:You should leave everthing the way it is*the clothes*. And you should report it. What if someone got rapped or killed? but then again.. what if it wasnt any of that?
Just do what u think is right and reasonable.
Reply:Report it if you want but maybe the clothes were dropped by a tornado or they were abducted by aliens. Skinny Dippers =)
visualarts
What do you think???
Honestly, I would report it just because then it is off your shoulders and that is why the police are there. It is probably nothing, but better safe than sorry, eh? And they can tell most of the time just by looking at the items left behind if there was a crime!
Reply:a couple probably just had wild sex in the woods.
Reply:You should leave everthing the way it is*the clothes*. And you should report it. What if someone got rapped or killed? but then again.. what if it wasnt any of that?
Just do what u think is right and reasonable.
Reply:Report it if you want but maybe the clothes were dropped by a tornado or they were abducted by aliens. Skinny Dippers =)
visualarts
What did cards, a radio, a phone, a magazine, a blanket, a telegram, a check, a x-mas tree, wreaths...?
wrapping paper, mens tap shoes, paper, flashlighs, garbage cans, hammers, and pots look like in 1933...if you couldnt tell its all about 1933 here lol...sorry guys this play is killing me...im the head of props and i need pictures to show the other ppl in my group what they looked like and i cant find the pictures of them...please help me out if possible i need full pictures of each item
What did cards, a radio, a phone, a magazine, a blanket, a telegram, a check, a x-mas tree, wreaths...?
Try this site from 1933 Google Images
http://images.google.com/images?q=1933%26amp;r...
Reply:try what the 7th son said
visual arts
What did cards, a radio, a phone, a magazine, a blanket, a telegram, a check, a x-mas tree, wreaths...?
Try this site from 1933 Google Images
http://images.google.com/images?q=1933%26amp;r...
Reply:try what the 7th son said
visual arts
Lil quiz ^.^ 4?
Ok i know these arnt quetions but they are fun and i just like to waste points
RULES:do not google the answers cuz then theres is no fun to it can you break the 2 min record? ill b posting alot more if i find any gd ones ^^
Common Threads
These trios of words hvae somthing in common what is it?
Example:dance,stairs,ladder=steps
car,elephant,tree=trunk
horses,brakes,closets=?
ruler,shoe,hill=?
mouth,comb,fairy=?
face,needle,hurricane=?
hearth,fly,gun=?
music,soap,saloon=?
robin,theater stage,pilot=?
finger,boxing,bathtub=?
dog,pillow,clock=?
car trunk,cards,rabbits=?
Lil quiz ^.^ 4?
horses,brakes,closets= Shoe
ruler,shoe,hill= Foot
mouth,comb,fairy= Teeth/Tooth
face,needle,hurricane= Eye
hearth,fly,gun= Fire
music,soap,saloon= Bar
robin,theater stage,pilot= Wings
finger,boxing,bathtub= Ring
dog,pillow,clock= Tick
car trunk,cards,rabbits= Jack
Wow, that was so much fun! Never done that before. ^^ Hope they%26#039;re right.
Reply:horses,brakes,closets= shoes
ruler,shoe,hill=foot
mouth,comb,fairy=teeth
face,needle,hurricane=eye
hearth,fly,gun=fire
music,soap,saloon=bar
robin,theater stage,pilot=wings
finger,boxing,bathtub=gloves
dog,pillow,clock=tick
car trunk,cards,rabbits=deck
tanning
RULES:do not google the answers cuz then theres is no fun to it can you break the 2 min record? ill b posting alot more if i find any gd ones ^^
Common Threads
These trios of words hvae somthing in common what is it?
Example:dance,stairs,ladder=steps
car,elephant,tree=trunk
horses,brakes,closets=?
ruler,shoe,hill=?
mouth,comb,fairy=?
face,needle,hurricane=?
hearth,fly,gun=?
music,soap,saloon=?
robin,theater stage,pilot=?
finger,boxing,bathtub=?
dog,pillow,clock=?
car trunk,cards,rabbits=?
Lil quiz ^.^ 4?
horses,brakes,closets= Shoe
ruler,shoe,hill= Foot
mouth,comb,fairy= Teeth/Tooth
face,needle,hurricane= Eye
hearth,fly,gun= Fire
music,soap,saloon= Bar
robin,theater stage,pilot= Wings
finger,boxing,bathtub= Ring
dog,pillow,clock= Tick
car trunk,cards,rabbits= Jack
Wow, that was so much fun! Never done that before. ^^ Hope they%26#039;re right.
Reply:horses,brakes,closets= shoes
ruler,shoe,hill=foot
mouth,comb,fairy=teeth
face,needle,hurricane=eye
hearth,fly,gun=fire
music,soap,saloon=bar
robin,theater stage,pilot=wings
finger,boxing,bathtub=gloves
dog,pillow,clock=tick
car trunk,cards,rabbits=deck
tanning
My Dog Chews/Destroys Everything?
When I get my dog a chew toy instead of chewing on it like a normal dog, she destroys it! I gave here a rope with a ball on each end and the next day the balls were ripped into a thousand pieces (literally) and the rope bat torn in half. And it was about 3/4 of an inch thick! She even breaks off the branches on my trees! She also rips up all my shoes even when I%26#039;m wearing them. If i push her away she%26#039;ll think i%26#039;m playing and start chewing harder causing me to kick her away. But instead of leaving me alone she comes back trying to chew on me again!
Not only does she chew everything but when I tell to stop breaking things she doesn%26#039;t take me seriously and starts playing with me.
And sometimes if she%26#039;s muddy and jumps on me I push her off and she gets mad and starts growling at me!
What should I do? Should I get a different dog? She%26#039;s a mix: Half Pembroke Welsh Corgy, quarter bull dog, and quarter black Labrador. But she is very cute...
My Dog Chews/Destroys Everything?
Try giving her plenty of chew toys and bones
Reply:Hey guess what...I do. And she just tears it up or get bored with it and chews on something else. Report It
Reply:Cry about it.
Reply:Sounds like a job for the Dog whisperer. I would also suggest strong toys and exercise but I think a muzzle would start getting her used to not chewing. Maybe you can use the muzzle only when she is doing the bad behavior and see if that works. Don%26#039;t give up on her so easy.
Reply:%26quot;Who Else Wants To End The Stress And Annoyance Of Your Dog%26#039;s Behavior Problems — Without Ever Having To Touch Your Dog%26quot;
If You Answered %26quot;I Do%26quot; To The Above Question... click the links to find out more....
Reply:You have a very young dog. When your dog reaches about three, she will calm down. I have a Beagle, and she did the same thing. Be patient and provide strong toys.
Sorry it%26#039;s such a pain but if you love your dog, stick with her through thick and thin because the good news is that it will pass.
Reply:Sounds like a cutie but you rally need to go with her to doggy obedience school. . Keep big chews on hand for her. I use good made raw hides for my bullie breeds. But you need to let her know you are the higher being not her. If you loose this battle you will be very sorry.
Reply:Your puppy is bored and is releasing its energy the only way it can. First you need lots of chews toys, Kong%26#039;s are very good and are built to stand up to tuff chewers. You can also stuff Kong%26#039;s with peanut butter and other treats. It can be help with releasing some of that pent up energy. How old is your dog? Also you will want to consider walking your dog alot a tried dog or puppy is a well behaved one. Also when you are pushing your dog way or yelling at her you are giving her attention so she is going to keep doing it. Best thing to is freeze and yell ouch when she is biting. i would recommend that you do some dog training class%26#039;s also. I hope this helps you out.
Reply:My dog is like that, hes a german shepard mountain hound mix. You need to take that cute little girl to obediance classes. However with chewing, she%26#039;ll grow out of it as she gets older. Meanwhile get lots of bones. My dog chews on EVERYTHING if he doesnt have a bone: shoes, furnature, stuffed animals, anything he can find. Go to a feed store or a pet store and buy a big rawhide bone, they may cost you 7.99 - 12.99 for a good sized one, but theyll last awhile. While that entertains her you can also get a spray that they sell at pet stores that keeps them away from things you spray it on. She should grow out of this by the time shes 1 or 2. Good luck!
Reply:You need to learn how to be the boss and take control, also your dog is what is known as an %26quot;aggressive%26quot; chewer you need to provide her with indestructible toys such as Kongs, http://www.kongcompany.com/worlds_best.h... and Nylabones.http://www.nylabone.com/default.aspx?pag...
Your dog doesnt take you seriously because you are asking her and not telling her to do things... you are currently not the leader of your pack... I suggest practicing the Nothing in Life is Free training technique, it is simple and effective... http://www.pets.ca/articles/article-dog_...
http://dogs.about.com/cs/basictraining/a...
Next you need to take A Lesson in becoming Alpha... http://www.pets.ca/articles/article-alph...
Getting a different dog wont solve the problem, because it is you who needs to learn how to train a dog so that it will be well behaved... no matter how many dogs you get they will all turn out the same unless YOU learn how to be the boss and take charge of your dogs training, and behaviour. The articles above will help you take control of your dog if you read and learn from the advice.
Reply:Yikes! This sounds bad, but don%26#039;t get rid of her! What you need to do is assert your authority. She may know you as %26quot;The Daddy%26quot; or %26quot;The Momma%26quot;, but that doesn%26#039;t mean that she respects you.
Get her plenty of toys, there are toys that are said to last long and be highly durable. They%26#039;re worth a try. Also, when she starts chewing on ANYTHING...I stress...ANYTHING other than those toys, discipline her. You%26#039;re going to have to teach her that only her toys are for chewing. No chewing shoes, hands, or even branches until she settles down.
When she won%26#039;t leave you alone, roll her onto her side and hold her down. If she bites, hold her muzzle shut. She will most likely scream like you%26#039;re hurting her, but don%26#039;t give in. This is how you%26#039;ll teach her to respect you like you deserve.
Reply:You should remove all items that your dog can chew on. Remove plants. Make sure electrical cords are out of reach. Pick up shoes and socks, and make sure there are no poisons or chemicals that your puppy can get his mouth on. If you have mouse traps or roach motels, get rid of them. Remove any object the puppy could put in his mouth. If he can put it in his mouth, he can choke on it. There is nothing more terrifying than seeing your little helpless puppy choking.
Always confine your puppy in a safe area while you are away. His crate is the safest place. You can also use baby gates in the kitchen or bathroom, but only after housebreaking is completed.
Closely watch your puppy. Puppies chew on whatever they can get their mouths on - for many reasons. Mainly, they are curious - and much like human babies, this is how they explore and learn about their world. They also chew because they are teething or because they are bored.
Make sure you provide plenty of chew toys. Give him a variety of toys to choose from so that when he chews on a forbidden object you can say %26quot;NO!%26quot; with a firm matter-of-fact voice and give him a toy. When he chews on his toys, praise him. If he continues to chew on?say?your favorite pair of leather shoes, treat it with a bitter tasting product such as %26quot;Bitter Apple%26quot; (available at pet stores).
Chewing is important for the health of your puppy%26#039;s teeth and gums. We like Nylabone, but there are many safe chew toys on the market.
Tempt him. After you have taught him what he can chew and what he can%26#039;t chew, it is time to put him to the test. Place tempting no-no %26#039;s near his okay-to-chew toys. Pretend you are not watching him. When he begins to put a forbidden object in his mouth, tell him %26quot;no%26quot; in your firm voice. You then need to leave the room, but watch him from around the corner. If you see him put the forbidden object in his mouth again, quickly correct him. Offer him his toy and if he accepts it, praise him and tell him %26quot;go get your toy, good boy/girl.%26quot; Later that will translate into another form of communication with your pet: Saying %26quot;go get your toy%26quot; when it is playtime will tell him to retrieve his toy and bring it to you, or at least into your vicinity.
Make certain your puppy gets plenty of exercise to burn off energy.
A bored puppy = a destructive, unhappy puppy.
Reply:SLING THE DOG ACROSS THE ROOM AND SAY STOP. JUST KINDING BUT KEEP IT FROM YOUR THINGS.
Reply:She needs more exercise!! Take her for a very long walk first thing in the morning, then when you get home practice all her commands...then feed her. Do that everyday and you will have a good dog! Most pet misbehaving is caused by a lack of exercise...especially if your dog is a lab cross!
Reply:Go to your pet store %26amp; buy this spray that%26#039;s very bitter tasting. It%26#039;s cheap and harmless to the dog and most everything. When it tastes this, it won%26#039;t chew anything you spray it on. I buy one called %26quot;Natures Miracle%26quot;, but there%26#039;s several brands out there. Good luck!
Also, my German Shepherds enjoy chewing on big blocks of wood. Sounds weird, but they love it and it lasts a long time.
poems
Not only does she chew everything but when I tell to stop breaking things she doesn%26#039;t take me seriously and starts playing with me.
And sometimes if she%26#039;s muddy and jumps on me I push her off and she gets mad and starts growling at me!
What should I do? Should I get a different dog? She%26#039;s a mix: Half Pembroke Welsh Corgy, quarter bull dog, and quarter black Labrador. But she is very cute...
My Dog Chews/Destroys Everything?
Try giving her plenty of chew toys and bones
Reply:Hey guess what...I do. And she just tears it up or get bored with it and chews on something else. Report It
Reply:Cry about it.
Reply:Sounds like a job for the Dog whisperer. I would also suggest strong toys and exercise but I think a muzzle would start getting her used to not chewing. Maybe you can use the muzzle only when she is doing the bad behavior and see if that works. Don%26#039;t give up on her so easy.
Reply:%26quot;Who Else Wants To End The Stress And Annoyance Of Your Dog%26#039;s Behavior Problems — Without Ever Having To Touch Your Dog%26quot;
If You Answered %26quot;I Do%26quot; To The Above Question... click the links to find out more....
Reply:You have a very young dog. When your dog reaches about three, she will calm down. I have a Beagle, and she did the same thing. Be patient and provide strong toys.
Sorry it%26#039;s such a pain but if you love your dog, stick with her through thick and thin because the good news is that it will pass.
Reply:Sounds like a cutie but you rally need to go with her to doggy obedience school. . Keep big chews on hand for her. I use good made raw hides for my bullie breeds. But you need to let her know you are the higher being not her. If you loose this battle you will be very sorry.
Reply:Your puppy is bored and is releasing its energy the only way it can. First you need lots of chews toys, Kong%26#039;s are very good and are built to stand up to tuff chewers. You can also stuff Kong%26#039;s with peanut butter and other treats. It can be help with releasing some of that pent up energy. How old is your dog? Also you will want to consider walking your dog alot a tried dog or puppy is a well behaved one. Also when you are pushing your dog way or yelling at her you are giving her attention so she is going to keep doing it. Best thing to is freeze and yell ouch when she is biting. i would recommend that you do some dog training class%26#039;s also. I hope this helps you out.
Reply:My dog is like that, hes a german shepard mountain hound mix. You need to take that cute little girl to obediance classes. However with chewing, she%26#039;ll grow out of it as she gets older. Meanwhile get lots of bones. My dog chews on EVERYTHING if he doesnt have a bone: shoes, furnature, stuffed animals, anything he can find. Go to a feed store or a pet store and buy a big rawhide bone, they may cost you 7.99 - 12.99 for a good sized one, but theyll last awhile. While that entertains her you can also get a spray that they sell at pet stores that keeps them away from things you spray it on. She should grow out of this by the time shes 1 or 2. Good luck!
Reply:You need to learn how to be the boss and take control, also your dog is what is known as an %26quot;aggressive%26quot; chewer you need to provide her with indestructible toys such as Kongs, http://www.kongcompany.com/worlds_best.h... and Nylabones.http://www.nylabone.com/default.aspx?pag...
Your dog doesnt take you seriously because you are asking her and not telling her to do things... you are currently not the leader of your pack... I suggest practicing the Nothing in Life is Free training technique, it is simple and effective... http://www.pets.ca/articles/article-dog_...
http://dogs.about.com/cs/basictraining/a...
Next you need to take A Lesson in becoming Alpha... http://www.pets.ca/articles/article-alph...
Getting a different dog wont solve the problem, because it is you who needs to learn how to train a dog so that it will be well behaved... no matter how many dogs you get they will all turn out the same unless YOU learn how to be the boss and take charge of your dogs training, and behaviour. The articles above will help you take control of your dog if you read and learn from the advice.
Reply:Yikes! This sounds bad, but don%26#039;t get rid of her! What you need to do is assert your authority. She may know you as %26quot;The Daddy%26quot; or %26quot;The Momma%26quot;, but that doesn%26#039;t mean that she respects you.
Get her plenty of toys, there are toys that are said to last long and be highly durable. They%26#039;re worth a try. Also, when she starts chewing on ANYTHING...I stress...ANYTHING other than those toys, discipline her. You%26#039;re going to have to teach her that only her toys are for chewing. No chewing shoes, hands, or even branches until she settles down.
When she won%26#039;t leave you alone, roll her onto her side and hold her down. If she bites, hold her muzzle shut. She will most likely scream like you%26#039;re hurting her, but don%26#039;t give in. This is how you%26#039;ll teach her to respect you like you deserve.
Reply:You should remove all items that your dog can chew on. Remove plants. Make sure electrical cords are out of reach. Pick up shoes and socks, and make sure there are no poisons or chemicals that your puppy can get his mouth on. If you have mouse traps or roach motels, get rid of them. Remove any object the puppy could put in his mouth. If he can put it in his mouth, he can choke on it. There is nothing more terrifying than seeing your little helpless puppy choking.
Always confine your puppy in a safe area while you are away. His crate is the safest place. You can also use baby gates in the kitchen or bathroom, but only after housebreaking is completed.
Closely watch your puppy. Puppies chew on whatever they can get their mouths on - for many reasons. Mainly, they are curious - and much like human babies, this is how they explore and learn about their world. They also chew because they are teething or because they are bored.
Make sure you provide plenty of chew toys. Give him a variety of toys to choose from so that when he chews on a forbidden object you can say %26quot;NO!%26quot; with a firm matter-of-fact voice and give him a toy. When he chews on his toys, praise him. If he continues to chew on?say?your favorite pair of leather shoes, treat it with a bitter tasting product such as %26quot;Bitter Apple%26quot; (available at pet stores).
Chewing is important for the health of your puppy%26#039;s teeth and gums. We like Nylabone, but there are many safe chew toys on the market.
Tempt him. After you have taught him what he can chew and what he can%26#039;t chew, it is time to put him to the test. Place tempting no-no %26#039;s near his okay-to-chew toys. Pretend you are not watching him. When he begins to put a forbidden object in his mouth, tell him %26quot;no%26quot; in your firm voice. You then need to leave the room, but watch him from around the corner. If you see him put the forbidden object in his mouth again, quickly correct him. Offer him his toy and if he accepts it, praise him and tell him %26quot;go get your toy, good boy/girl.%26quot; Later that will translate into another form of communication with your pet: Saying %26quot;go get your toy%26quot; when it is playtime will tell him to retrieve his toy and bring it to you, or at least into your vicinity.
Make certain your puppy gets plenty of exercise to burn off energy.
A bored puppy = a destructive, unhappy puppy.
Reply:SLING THE DOG ACROSS THE ROOM AND SAY STOP. JUST KINDING BUT KEEP IT FROM YOUR THINGS.
Reply:She needs more exercise!! Take her for a very long walk first thing in the morning, then when you get home practice all her commands...then feed her. Do that everyday and you will have a good dog! Most pet misbehaving is caused by a lack of exercise...especially if your dog is a lab cross!
Reply:Go to your pet store %26amp; buy this spray that%26#039;s very bitter tasting. It%26#039;s cheap and harmless to the dog and most everything. When it tastes this, it won%26#039;t chew anything you spray it on. I buy one called %26quot;Natures Miracle%26quot;, but there%26#039;s several brands out there. Good luck!
Also, my German Shepherds enjoy chewing on big blocks of wood. Sounds weird, but they love it and it lasts a long time.
poems
Christians in Long Beach, NY recently got pissy when the Menorah was bigger than the Christmas tree at the...?
town post office. they made a fuss and now the tree is bigger. ok, here%26#039;s my question for Christians: why can%26#039;t you, who are the religious majority, handle being in a minority%26#039;s shoes for even a moment? Wouldn%26#039;t the Golden Rule, which was taught by Jesus, lead you to understand that building bridges of understanding and whatnot is more important than protecting your power and identity?
Christians in Long Beach, NY recently got pissy when the Menorah was bigger than the Christmas tree at the...?
Size appears to matter... lol
Reply:Christians getting %26#039;pissy%26#039;.?
LOL
Reply:Anyone who gets upset at something like that has too much time on their hands and should go feed the hungry or pick up trash off the highway--something constructive for a change.
Reply:Sort of %26quot;our pole is bigger than yours,%26quot; eh?
Reply:They certainly want the rights to this season. Even though they purloined it from the pagans in the first place. I guess they aren%26#039;t very good with originality.
Reply:People need to learn to lighten up. And besides, the tree is pagan. hehe
Reply:::sigh::
There%26#039;s that beautiful holiday spirit. %26quot;Peace on earth and good will to people who think and feel exactly as I do,%26quot; right?
.
small business
Christians in Long Beach, NY recently got pissy when the Menorah was bigger than the Christmas tree at the...?
Size appears to matter... lol
Reply:Christians getting %26#039;pissy%26#039;.?
LOL
Reply:Anyone who gets upset at something like that has too much time on their hands and should go feed the hungry or pick up trash off the highway--something constructive for a change.
Reply:Sort of %26quot;our pole is bigger than yours,%26quot; eh?
Reply:They certainly want the rights to this season. Even though they purloined it from the pagans in the first place. I guess they aren%26#039;t very good with originality.
Reply:People need to learn to lighten up. And besides, the tree is pagan. hehe
Reply:::sigh::
There%26#039;s that beautiful holiday spirit. %26quot;Peace on earth and good will to people who think and feel exactly as I do,%26quot; right?
.
small business
Do you like my new poem, Father Al?
*****
Father Al and the Christ Mass
Little sleepers bedtime fidget,
Peeking at the packages
That are piled round the tree,
Race cars, guitars
And a purse that matches with
The shoes you got, a birthday gift
And the other’s Christmas wish,
Ribbon wrapped deliciousness
A peace we can’t forget,
And on this day we celebrate
The gift for those who will repent
The Heaven sent, son of God was born
*****
Do you like my new poem, Father Al?
AMEN! Beautiful....awesome! The %26quot;boy%26quot; says he doesn%26#039;t want anything for Christmas except to be home... and help paying his air-fare!
Glad my sis still has little ones to enjoy the fancy packages! For adults it%26#039;s just another visit to the check book or charge....God Bless the babes!
Wonderful, wonderful poem, TD, Thank you.
PS. My Uncle Al has been more like a father to me in the last 20 years than his own brother, my father! God Bless father AL!!
Reply:I thought it was an excellent Christmas poem.
To remember the peace experienced on any day, is appealing to me.
Reply:im in love.....
Reply:I%26quot;d say VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:its good
Reply:Silly soft sentimental smooth.
I! --Liked it.
fashion accessories
Father Al and the Christ Mass
Little sleepers bedtime fidget,
Peeking at the packages
That are piled round the tree,
Race cars, guitars
And a purse that matches with
The shoes you got, a birthday gift
And the other’s Christmas wish,
Ribbon wrapped deliciousness
A peace we can’t forget,
And on this day we celebrate
The gift for those who will repent
The Heaven sent, son of God was born
*****
Do you like my new poem, Father Al?
AMEN! Beautiful....awesome! The %26quot;boy%26quot; says he doesn%26#039;t want anything for Christmas except to be home... and help paying his air-fare!
Glad my sis still has little ones to enjoy the fancy packages! For adults it%26#039;s just another visit to the check book or charge....God Bless the babes!
Wonderful, wonderful poem, TD, Thank you.
PS. My Uncle Al has been more like a father to me in the last 20 years than his own brother, my father! God Bless father AL!!
Reply:I thought it was an excellent Christmas poem.
To remember the peace experienced on any day, is appealing to me.
Reply:im in love.....
Reply:I%26quot;d say VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:its good
Reply:Silly soft sentimental smooth.
I! --Liked it.
fashion accessories
Do you like my story?
It is 23 pages so you may just wanna skip around. Keep in mind, I am 12 years old, and it is written for kids my age. Rate it on a scale from 0 (awful) and 10 (amazing!!). Don%26#039;t hold back.
Chapter 1
This is a story about me. My name is Mackenzie, and I’m thirteen years old. I look pretty ordinary. I have blonde hair and icy blue eyes. Each eye has a light grey ring around its pupil. I live with my grandma, who is sixty-eight years old. Despite her age, she is in very good shape, and I know she’s going to live for a long time. My mom’s grandma had just died, and they went all the way to Washington to bury her. They are going to be gone a while.
Today was finally Friday. I just woke up and I already couldn’t wait until the end of the day. Most people wake up saying “It’s a brand new day!” I wake up and say “Is it morning already?” Some things about me are not compatible. Here’s one thing: I hate mornings, but I can’t sleep in. To me it’s just impossible! I wake up at 7 or 8a.m. and I can’t ever get back to sleep.
I pulled myself out of bed and began to get ready. I ran a brush through my hair, and it fell down on my shoulders like silk. I smiled at myself. Good hair day. I kicked off my pajama pants, and pulled on my jeans. I took off my blue shirt, the one with a big snowflake on it, and then changed my shirt several times until I had just the right one. I slipped on each tennis shoe then, realizing I had my left foot in my right shoe and vise-versa, I kicked then off and put each of my feet in its proper shoe. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked better than usual, yet the same. I guess Fridays make everything look better. I ran down the stairs, and fell down most of them.
“Bye grandma!” I nearly screamed it at her as I tried to catch the bus. I put a piece of bacon in my mouth and ripped a pancake in half. I folded the pancake and put it in my mouth and swallowed. I grabbed my books and ran out the door just as the bus pulled up. I let out a sigh of relief as I stepped onto the bus. I looked toward the third row where Sydney always sat waiting for me.
“Mackenzie! Over here! Over here!” I walked over and sat next to her.
“Look at my feet!” I looked there a moment. She didn’t wait for me to answer, and I was glad she didn’t because I had no idea what she was talking about.
“I got new shoes!” She squealed in my ear. I looked again. They were different shoes, but they were far from new. The material was faded, and the little plastic jewels were falling off. The laces were a dingy brown and they were worn thin, and looked as if they would snap any second. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I replied,
“That’s really neat, Sydney!” I tried to sound excited. My voice came out in a fake tone, almost like a commercial, but Sydney was too excited to notice. She pointed her toes and kicked them back and forth excitedly. The bus finally came to a stop that jerked us all forward. Sydney was first off the bus. She walked slowly to class, looking at her feet all the while. I had to occasionally move her out of the way of other students and grumpy teachers and parents who mumbled curse words under their breath if little ten-year-old Sydney accidentally ran into them. We walked up the stairs, and Sydney tripped on every one. Sydney is like my sister, but not by blood.
“Aren’t they great?” She asked as if it wasn’t a question, and she believed with all her heart I would say yes. Sydney’s family is poor. That’s why her shoes aren’t new, but she is always excited to have something that is new to her. She doesn’t get many things because of their financial problems. I told her good bye as we came to her classroom.
“Meet me by the bench under the oak tree.” I told her.
“The bench on the playground?” She asked. I nodded my head up and down. You see, every Friday Sydney comes over to my house after school. We never have to ask her mom, because we know her mom doesn’t mind. To tell you the sad truth, I don’t even think she cares about Sydney or her brothers. I’ve never said anything about it to Sydney, but I know she knows it. Sometimes I wonder how she can be happy. I waved one last goodbye to her, than turned to go so I wouldn’t be late for class. Friday seems to be the longest day of the week! But finally, the bell rang for dismissal. I found Sydney just where I had told her to go and she waited impatiently.
“Kenzie!” She screamed across the field. Sometimes when Sydney gets excited, she calls me Kenzie. It’s like she’s so excited she can’t even get the first part of my name out in time to say my full name. I took her hand and she nearly pulled my arm out of socket as we skipped to the bus.
“What do you want to do today?” She asked me.
“Well, yesterday, I saw this show about extreme makeovers and…”
“Can we do one of those?” she interrupted. I had been getting there, but I let her think it was her idea.
“Sure. I’ll do you, ok?” Sydney jerked her head up and down, and I thought she’d nod it right off her shoulders.
“Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.” Sydney said to all the houses that weren’t mine.
“Nope. Nope. Nope. There! There! I see it!” Sydney got up as soon as the bus stopped. She ran to the front of the bus, and jumped all the stairs. I reached into my pocket and fumbled with the house key. Sydney bit her bottom lip excitedly. She had been over a billion times, but to her it was still a treat. I finally got the key out, and unlocked the door. Sydney looked around as if she’d never been here. We walked to the kitchen first to rinse her hair in the big sink. It was shiny clean because I had told my grandma my plans with Sydney. She leaned back, and I sprayed her hair with warm water from the sprayer by the sink. Our laughter filled the kitchen. When her hair had been washed with my special conditioner, I wrapped her hair in a towel, and we headed to my room. I took the towel off and her head, and her hair laid on top off her head in a big knot.
“I think we’re done.” I joked, and she laughed. I sat criss-crossed behind her on the bed, and ran a comb through her hair. The comb ran through easily. I parted her hair straight down the middle. It was perfectly straight. I could never seem to do that with my hair. I ran my fingers through her hair. It was a rich chocolate color that made her green eyes all the more brighter. Sydney shivered. Her clothes were wet. I walked into my closet and pulled out a box on the top shelf. It was a box of clothes that didn’t fit, but I refused to give up. I picked up a beautiful dress. It was a soft shade of pink. I pulled it out. Sydney’s eyes widened.
“Wow!” And ‘wow’ it was. It was gorgeous! It had thin straps, and the skirt of the dress spread out all around you if you spun around. We blow dried Sydney’s hair so the dress wouldn’t get wet. I curled it, and put a small pink flower behind her ear to match the dress. She slipped the dress on, and some pink ballet slippers that I had had since I was about seven, but they fit her little feet. I stood back to examine my results. She was beautiful! She looked like a princess right out of a storybook. We finally finished at 7:00. Even though it was early, all the excitement wiped us both out. We turned a movie on. About thirty minutes into the movie the silence was getting on my nerves.
“So how’s school?” I asked. No answer. I looked down at the sleeping figure on the floor. I picked her up. I felt her ribs through her dress. Poor Sydney. She’s been through so much, and she came out with nothing. I laid her on the bed. She looked like sleeping beauty. I kissed her on her forehead. I got in bed behind her, and pulled the blanket up to our chins. Sydney rubbed her cheek against the soft material. I did too. I sat there and looked up ay my ceiling. Great, more silence. I finally fell into a peaceful slumber.
When I finally awoke, Sydney was not there. I sat up and looked around. I saw Sydney sitting by the window, with the sun shining on her face. The tune on the DVD’s menu played again and again. I turned it off, and Sydney jerked her head around. The sun shined all around her, and she looked like an angel from heaven. She smiled. Sydney had a smile that lit up the night sky. It was breath taking. Her teeth were white, and all straight in a row. She did not have two huge front teeth like the other kids in her class.
“What do you wanna do today?” she asked me. I knew what she wanted to do. So we went downstairs to watch Saturday cartoons. Sydney doesn’t have cartoons because she doesn’t have a TV. She laughed at everything. I’m not sure most the things she laughed at were even supposed to funny. After the cartoons were over, she begged to watch the re-runs, and I couldn’t bring myself to say no. Finally they ended. Sydney walked outside to the trampoline. My heart dropped. I decided to go first. I just ran around in circles.
Sydney and I are complete opposites. She loves life and lives it to the fullest, and I am scared of it and always have been. On rainy days, I avoid all puddles because I always suspect they are deeper than they appear. Sydney jumps and splashes in every single one.
Before I knew it, it was Sydney’s turn. She stood at one end and began to jump, higher and higher and did a back flip. She landed on her knees sending her into a front flip. After she was done I noticed I had my hand over my mouth in nervousness. I hated watching her flip around like a rag doll that could fall apart at any moment. She flipped backwards again. It took me a while to realize I wasn’t breathing. I let out a breath. She climbed off the trampoline. I looked at her. Her eyes were hollow, and she was pale all over. The skin underneath her nails was purple. I could see her heart thumping hard through her dress. I saw her rib cage grow and shrink with every breath. I swallowed hard as poor Sydney gasped for air.
“I’m bored of this. Let’s go inside.” I lied. I did like jumping, but I was scared for her. She had something wrong with her heart. I don’t know much about it, all I know is it didn’t function properly. I asked her about it once, and she simply replied,
“What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong?” But I could tell she knew exactly what I was talking about. I took her hand. It was freezing, colder than ice. We made our way back up to my room. Each step was laborious for Sydney, but I didn’t help her. She was a very stubborn, strong minded, independent girl. She took a step and collapsed into my arms. She rested there, in my arms, for a few moments, and then made the next step. I felt so helpless. When we made it back to my room, she lay on my bed and her eyelids fell heavily over her eyes. She was falling asleep. Whenever Sydney gets excited, her heart beats faster than it’s supposed to, and by the time she calms down, she is exhausted. Despite all this, Sydney lives life as if her heart problem doesn’t even exist. I sometimes feel bad I have a good heart, and Sydney doesn’t. Inside, I know Sydney thinks I’m throwing that away by not living life to the fullest, and I know that it is true. I looked down at her. Her cheeks were rosy, and she was no longer pale. My fingertips outlined her jawbone. Her face was still cold. I pulled the blanket up closer around her chin. She snuggled down into its warmth. She smiled and looked up at me. Her eyes were no longer hollow holes, but were now shimmering, full of life and adventure as they always were. I walked downstairs to grab a bite to eat. I had skipped breakfast. I grabbed a cookie. A very healthy breakfast. When I came back, Sydney was asleep, and her face looked troubled. She groaned and whined in her sleep. I took her hand. She opened her eyes. They reflected the fear that Sydney felt inside, but tried so hard to hide from the world.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“Yeah.... I’m o.k.” She replied. Her voice shook with emotion, and her facial expressions told me otherwise. Her eyes were red and puffy, and filled with tears, but she did not let them fall. The only time I had seen her cry was five years ago on the bus, the first time we met. Her father had left, and they didn’t know where. There were no reports of anyone seeing him anywhere. That’s why they had financial problems. Just then my grandma walked in.
“You ready to go home?” She asked Sydney. Sydney nodded her head, but I could tell she was somewhere else. In another place, another time, another moment. She followed us robotically in the car. The car ride was a long one, and Sydney didn’t say a word the whole way there.
‘What did she see in the dream?’ I wondered. We pulled up to a building that could hardly be called a house. Her mom was outside folding laundry. There wasn’t much. We let Sydney out of the car. Her mom looked confused. She hadn’t noticed Sydney had left in the first place. I felt bad for her. I wish we could take her away and never bring her back.
“Thank you.” Was all her mom said, and you could tell she didn’t mean it. My fists clenched and I could hear my teeth grinding. I could tell grandma was upset too. Sydney, still deep in thought, walked inside. I looked in after her. She began to help with the dishes. CRASH! A dish was shattered on the floor.
“Stupid, good for nothing, child!” Her mom screamed and raised her hand. Grandma reached out and grabbed the lady’s wrist. The lady turned and met Grandma’s gaze. The look on her face was angry, but turned to one of fear as she looked into my grandma’s eyes. I knew that look. I had received it many times, but this one seemed even worse. I stroked my hand down Grandma’s arm. I didn’t want her to do anything she’d regret. She released her hand. There was a white mark in the shape of Grandma’s hand, which turned red in a few seconds.
“If you touch that child, I swear, I’ll be back, and I’ll make sure you won’t be. And that is a promise.” My grandma said through clenched teeth. I knew she meant it too. My heart thumped.
“Get in the car.” She told me, and I obeyed immediately. Grandma walked to the car, stomping each foot with every step. She slammed the door shut. I waited until she cooled down then I asked,
“Why didn’t we take her home?” Grandma sighed.
“Honey, I wish we could have. Women like that don’t deserve kids like Sydney. But it ain’t legal.” I sighed a sigh of disappointment.
“But Honey, if I could have, believe me, I would have snatched her up and made her my own.” She smiled.
“That’s a promise.” And I believed her.
Chapter 2
I woke up the next day remembering it all as a dream, but knowing it wasn’t. Sunday was long and boring. I decided to go visit the creek outside the woods. I was surprised to find Sydney there. There was a small multitude of blankets in a pile, which I guessed to be a bed. I guessed she had walked here after the fight, and slept here as well. But then again, I guess a lot.
“Hi.” She said. But her face did not glow with the glow I knew Sydney had.
“You ok?” I asked. She did a cartwheel. I knew she wasn’t listening to me. She did several in a row. I bit my lip, trying my best not to say anything. Her face was starting to look pale already. I sat there a moment. She did it again and again until she was gasping for air, and unable to hold herself up in the cartwheel. But she continued, again and again.
“Stop that.” I told her finally.
“Why?” She asked panting. It seemed as if just saying that one word took a lot of effort. She did another.
“Stop! Your gonna hurt yourself!” She stood up, offended.
“I’m.... just…fine…thank…you!” She said. She looked like was going to pass out, but she did another.
“You’re not fine!” She stopped for a few minutes, until she caught her breath.
“Look! It’s none of your business what I do! I’m fine! There’s nothing wrong with me! I’m fine!” She screamed angrily. She started off for the forest. I tried to grab her, but she pushed me away and began to run. She disappeared into the forest. I stopped at the edge. It was the borderline between here and the forest. I ran in after her.
“Sydney! Sydney! Where are you?! Sydney!” I screamed. I saw her crouched down by a strange plant. It was beautiful. We forgot about everything. We even forgot we had been fighting.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I…I don’t know.” She said, intrigued. I took a step towards it. CRUNCH! I looked down. The forest was full of life and trees and plants, but in this particular spot, everything was dead. Nothing surrounded this plant.
“Sydney?” I asked.
“Shh!” she told me. She reached out a small finger.
“Sydney don’t!” She looked at me. A mischievous smile came over her face. She reached out her little finger and touched it. Something shot out of it. The plant withered away. I looked at Sydney. A needle penetrated through her throat. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell to the floor of the forest.
“Sydney!” I put her head in my lap.
“Sydney! Wake up!” Her heart began to beat and her body shook in rhythm with her thumping heart. Her nails dug into the soft earth, and her face cringed with pain, and all the veins inside her glowed. The toes on her feet curled and she locked her knees. Her mouth opened, and she foamed.
“Kenzie.” She said it so softly, I wasn’t sure if maybe I had imagined it. But there was pain hidden in her voice. Her eyes opened. She looked past me, at nothing. I could hear her heart beating. Her throat began to swell, and it squeaked when she breathed in. She was suffocating! Black began to swallow up her bright green eyes, until her whole eye was black. Her whole body shook.
“Sydney! Don’t leave me. Please stay with me. You’re my little sister, and I love you. Snap out of it. I know you can!” She growled and hissed and she jerked her head around, like she was possessed.
“Sydney? Sydney? Stay with me. I love you Sydney!” There was a loud ear-piercing scream. Sydney’s body jerked. Something like a blur left her and I saw it fly deep into the forest. The trees seemed to part as is passed. Sydney sat up, vomiting and whimpering. Her body was still shaking. The wind blew cold like that of winter. Sydney’s lips looked like scales, and she was paler than I have ever seen her before. Her lips were blue, and she was fighting to keep her eyes open.
“Don’t close your eyes!” I told her. I was afraid if she closed them, she would not open them again.
“My eyelids are so heavy. They won’t stay open.” She whispered.
“Let’s go. I don’t like this place.” She coughed. I picked her up, and carried her out of there as fast as I could. Her body flapped lifelessly in my arms. Tears were running down my face and the same thing went through my head again and again. ‘Don’t die Sydney, don’t die!’ I breathed deeply and the cold pierced my lungs like a thousand needles. ‘Don’t die!’ My throat went numb. My legs burned, but I wouldn’t stop running. So I ran, faster and faster. The woods like a maze, and I can’t find my way out. But I keep running, not thinking, not knowing, not caring. I looked left and right confused. The forest is tricking me, and I could almost hear the trees laughing at me. I ran in one direction. I couldn’t find my way out, and the forest wouldn’t let me out. Everything looks the same in every direction. I looked down at Sydney. I hardly recognized her. Her face was so pale, and her skin is almost transparent. But there was no way out. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, with no one to help. I was cold, and Sydney felt cold in my arms. I pulled her closer. I fell to my knees. She was getting heavier and heavier and I couldn’t hold her. A lump formed in my throat. I could do nothing, and I hated myself for it.
“Sydney?” There was no answer.
“Oh, Sydney. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Her hand touched my face.
“It’s not your fault.” She whispered. She lay there a moment, and slowly sat up. Color began to return to her face. The wind was no longer blowing, and as I looked around, everything was clear, but it was a long way back. She insisted on walking. She was the stubborn young girl I knew, and I smiled. We walked for a long time, and Sydney touched everything excitedly. We stopped at the creek, the one inside the forest, to soak our feet in its warm water.
“Sydney? I know you don’t wanna tell me, but please. What did you see in your dream?” Sydney let out a sigh.
“I don’t know. It was…I mean…I think it was my dad. He was calling me. He told me to get up and go. Something or someone is calling me. Away from here, away from you. I don’t wanna go, but something inside keeps telling me to.” Sydney’s voice began to shake. I held her close, but she refused to cry. She just breathed heavily.
“Let’s go.” She told me, and walked away. We neared the spot where the mysterious plant once was, but now lay withered. As we passed, Sydney grabbed her head and screamed.
“Kenzie! My head! Kenzie help! He’s calling me again! It’s calling me! She’s calling me!” I didn’t know what to do. What did Sydney mean by ‘she’? But it was no time to think about that. She buried her face in her hands. She did not look at me. She breathed awkwardly.
“Sydney?” Pause.
“Sydney, are you ok?” She turned. Her eyes were black as night. The wind blew cold again. She laughed an evil laugh that wasn’t hers. She ran towards me, I took a few steps back and tripped. She leaned over me, breathing heavily. She drew closer, and closer, and closer until she was three inches from my face. She stopped, and stood upright. Her face turned westward. She ran with a speed that was un-human. I was scared, but I ran after her anyway. That was my sister. I ran faster and faster. I heard a noise behind me. I turned around, still running. Nothing was there. I heard it in front of me I turned. I branch hit me in the head. I fell over backwards. The world was different colors. It all began to fade into to darkness.
“Sydney! Sydney!” I couldn’t scream. My body wouldn’t do what I wanted it to. I felt like I was dying. I lay there, unconscious, unknowing of the dangers around me.
* * * * * *
I felt strange, as if waking from a dream. I rubbed my eyes, and everything was blurry. I felt a big knot on my head. My head was throbbing like crazy. I tried to sit up, but slowly laid back down. The sun was blinding my eyes. I groaned and sat up as my head flopped about. I sat there a moment out of breath. I looked around. I felt watched. I noticed I wasn’t where I thought I was. There were weeping willows instead of pines, and there was hot sand all around me. The view was amazing, not like the forest I knew.
“Where am I?” I asked myself. My voice sounded funny in the silence of the trees.
“You’re in Bethsaidia.” A deep voice told me. The voice was unfamiliar. I jerked my head around, and jumped to my feet, surprised and afraid. There was a tall man standing over me. His skin was tan and his eyes were a dark shade of brown. He had dark hair. I looked at him. He had horse ears, and a horse’s body from his waist down.
“Ahhhh!” I screamed, and it echoed. He covered my mouth with his hand, and he almost pushed me over in the process.
“Shh! They’re going to hear us! Don’t make a sound!” He told me in a stern voice. He looked around, then nodded as if he was sure all was well. He removed his hand and I didn’t dare scream.
“Who are you?” I asked finally.
“I am Custos, your guardian.” He stood up, tall and proud.
“I’m Mackenzie.” I told him, not really noticing I had said it. I was still looking at how he…formed together. Beneath his waist, the horse was white as snow.
“So, are there more of you? Like, more fantasy creatures?” I asked. He stomped a hoof and yelled angrily.
“We are not fantasy! You humans are just so closed minded. Boy, have you changed!”
“Changed?” I asked confused. He turned to me, but his eyes did not look at me. He looked as if he was visiting a memory.
“Many years ago, man and creature could speak to each other. We got along. Then man one day decided they were better than us. We separated ourselves from them. That’s why we are from other worlds. Slowly over the years, man has forgotten us. You rot your minds with junk, and you forget. We started our own world, where we could live without conflict. This is where it all happened.” He nodded his head up and down, thinking.
“Ok, and what exactly happened here?” I asked, still confused.
“The beginning of Bethsaidia. In the Garden of Alkera.” He said. A peace came over his voice.
“Alkera?” I asked.
“It’s the ancient language of the Bethsaidians. It is spoken by very few people. Alkera means separated.” He looked around. The wind blew gently against my cheek.
“Here I come.” It was quiet, as if whispered by the wind.
“What?” I asked myself.
“Is something wrong?” He asked.
“Didn’t you hear that?”
“What?” I heard it again. I looked up at him.
“Someone’s coming.” He jerked his head around as if looking.
“Where did you hear that?” He asked.
“Here. Just now. Like, five seconds ago! Why? Who’s coming?” He looked all around him.
“They know you’re here.”
“Who?” I asked frantically.
“We can’t talk here. Get on!” I watched as all four legs bent down to my level, and I awkwardly got on. He lunged forward, and I nearly fell off. I leaned against his back. His body was warm and I felt his muscles flex and relax below me. He ran very fast. The wind stung my eyes, and tears ran down my cheeks, but I didn’t dare let go to wipe them away. Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! All four hooves sang together in rhythm to each other and the world around me. His mane tickling my cheek as his tail whipped behind us. The wind blew through my hair. A fuzzy sound was being whispered in my ears, but became clearer until I heard it crystal clear.
“I’m still coming. I’m still coming.” I clung tighter. I was so scared. It took me a while to realize we had stopped.
“Mackenzie? Are you ok?” he asked me.
“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.” I lied.
“You’re scared.” It took me by surprise.
“How did you know?” I asked, curiously.
“I felt it. Here in Bethsaidia, if you come in contact with someone, and the feeling is strong enough, you feel it as if it was your own.” I leaned in close to him. I felt nothing.
“Why can’t I feel your feelings?” I asked.
“You haven’t been here long enough.” He told me. I felt a strange feeling of jealousy, and I climbed off before he could sense it. I looked around. It was no longer a beautiful forest with warm sand. It was cold with snow all around. The tip of my nose was numb, and I breathed hot air into my hands to make them warmer.
“Why is it so cold?” I asked.
“It is winter here. Here in Bethsaidia, it depends on where you are. Different places have different seasons. Doesn’t it work that way on Earth?” He asked. I felt a sense of pride. I knew something he didn’t. Even if it wasn’t his fault I couldn’t help but smile.
“No. On Earth, you can’t just run somewhere. It depends on where the sun shines. It shines in different places at different times of the year. On Earth a year is 365 days.” I told him. I threw in that last part so I could sound super smart.
“Funny. Here in Bethsaidia, a year is 122 days. What a difference. That means if you were here for one year, you’d have been gone for a few days on Earth.” My eyes widened and my jaw dropped.
“How did you figure that out in you head? I can’t even figure it out on paper.” I told him.
“We here are born smart. Humans used to be, but you are now filled with all kinds of junk that has made you…. not as smart as before.” He told me. I stomped my foot. I wanted to punch him, but I couldn’t even reach his face!
“I’ll have you know I have an A-B average…and a C in math.” I said the last part quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear, but he couldn’t say I never told him. It had only been maybe a few short minutes, and I already felt safe with him. There was a howl in the distance. It sounded far away. He made a clicking sound with his tongue and some kind of strange gargling sound in his throat. It echoed, then was answered by a howl.
“That’s how we communicate. So the others don’t know.” He told me.
“Others?” I asked.
“The evil ones. They haven’t forgiven humans for what they did in the past. They swore an oath that if there were another human, they would kill them once all is fulfilled. That’s why it is bad that they know you are here. They want to kill you.” I didn’t have to ask. I knew that’s who was whispering to me. And the whole ‘once all is fulfilled’ thing, I was positive I didn’t want to know. I climbed back on, and was happy to lay against the warmth of his fur. He walked at a slow, steady pace. I closed my eyes and just listened. The sound of his walk changed. I opened my eyes. We were on the ice. I tensed up.
“It’s ok.” He told me. I didn’t believe him. I looked across. This lake was a wide one. A loud booming sound was under us.
“Caedo.” I didn’t need to feel his feelings to know he was just as scared as me.
“Caedo means ‘it kills’ and it does.” His body shook under me. The booming continued until…crack! The ice behind us began to slit in two. Custos ran. The ice cracking at his heels as water burst through the surface. I felt him breathing. The ice broke in front of us. He stopped suddenly, and I flew off into the ice-cold water. Things like leaches dug their teeth into every part of my body, creating sores as big as quarters. They began to suck my blood, and I felt my energy drain. I could see Custos getting smaller as I sank deeper and deeper. The leach-like creatures swam away, and two huge, golden eyes looked straight at me. I looked at its eyes, intrigued. I didn’t notice the creature getting closer, and closer, or that its tentacles were going up my legs, my ribs, my arms, my neck, until it tightened its grip on my neck, and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t struggle, and I didn’t look away. Suddenly, an arrow shot through the water, and struck it in the eye. It let out an ear-piecing scream that literally left my ears ringing. I realized I couldn’t breath. The pressure of the water was all around me, constricting me. I thrashed out violently. I let all my air out and watched it float away. Someone or something grabbed me and pulled me through the surface. I took in a deep breath of air. It stung. My lungs were full of the sea. I coughed and water gushed out. I rubbed my eyes, and pushed my hair out of my face. I looked up at my rescuer. She smiled at me. She was a mermaid. Her skin was a soft blue, and her hair was teal with lime green streaks. She had blue eyes, like my mine. Her hand was on mine. I looked at it. Her nails were long and there was a thin layer of skin between her fingers. She had seaweed wrapped around her middle to use as a shirt. She also had a tail. It had green scales all over. She had on a necklace. It was a coin with a picture engraved in it. The picture was of a young girl. The girl’s face was smudged from time.
“Hello?” I looked up. It looked like she had asked me a question.
“Sorry, what?” I asked.
“Are you all right?” She asked.
“Everything hurts.” I wined.
“I bet! You got attacked by cruors. They are blood suckers. They burrow into your skin and eat you from the inside out. There were a lot too. It’s a surprise you lived. You are a very strong girl.” She said. I couldn’t help feeling flattered. I looked at my arm. There were sores all up and down my arms. She ran her hand down her tail. There was slime all over her hand.
“Hold still.” She told me. I didn’t even want to know what she was going to do. She rubbed it all over my body. The skin began to grow over my sores, until there was no sign I had even had sores.
“Wow. How’d you do that?” I asked.
“Vigoratus.” She said, showing it to me.
“Vigoratus?” I asked.
“It can only be found in the water. Over time it gathers on things. It heals sores of all kind.”
“So, it gathers on your tail?” I asked.
“Yeah.” She said.
“Do you wanna touch it?” she asked.
“Sure.” I said. I reached over and touched it. I looked at my hand. It was all gooey. I wiped it on my jeans. I shivered. I felt an ice-cold hand on my shoulder. I turned. It was Custos.
“I…I… are you ok?” he asked.
“I’m fine. This is…” I realized I didn’t know her name.
“My name is Alga.” She said.
“My parent’s are old fashioned. It means seaweed.” From the look on her face I guessed that wasn’t a bad thing…somehow.
“We have to go.” I stood up.
“Wait.” She grabbed my hand. I knelt next to her.
“Here.” She took the necklace off her neck and put it around mine.
“Good luck.” She whispered.
“Thanks. For everything.” I told her. My hand was still in hers. She looked at my palm. She laid her hand flat against mine and closed her eyes. She sat there a moment.
“You are a very brave girl. And powerful.”
“Powerful? What power.” I asked.
“The power is inside you. You just have to dig deep. You’ll find it. You’ll find it.” I thought about it. Power? Bravery? Yeah right.
“You don’t believe me?” I didn’t look into her eyes. She laughed.
“You’ll see.” I took my hand away. I walked next to Custos. I felt small next to him.
“Look. I’m sorry. It’s just… water and I…..” He didn’t have to finish. I knew what he meant. I climbed on his back. I remembered the necklace Alga had given me. I looked at it. It was of a girl in a dress with a staff. She was standing on a cliff looking over the land. I couldn’t see her face. I figured she was a legend in Bethsaidia.
“Custos? What was Alga doing with my hand? She wasn’t feeling what I was feeling, because I don’t feel brave.” I told him.
“Mermaids are different. They’ve been around the longest. They can feel what’s deep inside you. They can feel even what you can’t.” I nodded my head, even though I still didn’t understand. I shivered, and laid against his warm back. I hope we’re going somewhere warm.
Chapter 3
Aw! The sun was coming out, and it felt good. It burned on my back. Custos finally stopped, and I climbed off. “What place is this?” I asked.
“It’s been changed over the years many times, and I’m not sure if anyone knows what it is called today. But it has always been ‘Eubak’ to me.” He smiled.
“Eubak?” I asked.
“It means ‘new life’. This is where I was born.” He looked around. I smiled. It was beautiful here. There were trees that seemed to lean over to shade you and the ocean seemed to whisper every time the tide came up. I was born in a little white room with doctors everywhere. I wish I were born here though. It seemed perfect. I took off my shoes. My socks were still wet and cold and my toes felt funny when they rubbed against each other. I shoved my socks in my shoes. I stood just where the tide came up. It washed up over my toes. I rolled my jeans up, and walked in until it was up to my ankles. It felt good. The sun was hot, and beads of sweat were beginning to run down my face. I cupped my hand into the water and poured it on my head. I let it drip down my face, cooling me off with every drop. I looked over at Custos. He stood far away from the water. I wanted to know why.
“Custos? Why don’t you like the water?” He didn’t answer. I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t have asked. But he finally began.
“It was a long time ago. My parents had to go away like the many others to war. They left my brother and I at home. Kenai, my brother, and I stood on the beach as we always did. We had no idea that the danger was coming here. A large eagle swooped down and carried my brother and me far from shore. Centaurs are not good swimmers. We are built for the land, not the sea. The eagle dropped us, and the water swallowed us up and constricted us. I found my way back to shore, and expected to find my brother already there waiting for me. I couldn’t see him. I waited. Hoping to see him, but I never did. His body washed up on shore the next day. I buried him, and fell asleep only a few yards away. But when I awoke later that night, his grave had been dug up, and I heard satisfied wolves howling happily in the distance as they ate their meal. I couldn’t sleep that night, but I must have dozed off a bit, because the next thing I knew, someone was waking me up to tell me my parents had died.”
After hearing about Kenai, I couldn’t help thinking about Rupie. I had gotten and named him when I was three, almost four. The lady we bought him from said he was very healthy, but everyone lies. Rupie had a tumor, and the doctor could not remove the whole tumor. I remember it was my eighth birthday, and my mom and dad told me this was Rupie’s last day with us. Rupie wasn’t strong enough to jump up on my bed, so he slept on the floor, and I curled up next to him. I watched him closely. He closed his eyes, and I waited. I was scared he had died, so I shook him awake. He licked my hand as if telling me everything was ok, even though it was not ok. He closed his eyes and I shook him awake. But his eyes did not open and he did not lick my hand. He just laid there, not breathing. I stroked him lightly, and tears filled my eyes.
We buried him in the backyard, and my mom handed me a small cardboard box. I opened it slowly, not really caring what was in it. But I was happy to see what was inside. It was a little silver bone with Rupie’s name engraved in it. It was off of his collar. I remember carrying it around in my pocket.
I wonder why I stopped carrying it around. I hadn’t thought about Rupie for a long time until now. I thought of the little silver bone at home in its box. I sat there on the beach and I cried for Rupie and myself and for Custos and Kenai. It was beautiful here, but I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I saw Custos hunched over where I guessed Kenai’s grave was…or where it should have been. I walked over and ran my hand down his shoulder. As soon as I touched him, I saw a vision. It was Kenai lying dead on the beach. I didn’t know how I knew it was Kenai, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was he. It was so sad, and I drew my hand away. Custos was staring down at me.
“What did you see?” He asked. I sat there speechless. There seemed to be a big ball in my throat blocking my air passage. I saw Kenai’s dead body on the beach, and it played again and again in my mind. Custos looked away. He knew what I had seen.
“Find a place to sleep. Make sure it is well protected. There’s no telling what lurks in these woods at such times.”
“Such times?” I asked. He didn’t answer, but I knew he had heard me. I found a small cliff like figure, and climbed up to explore. I found a dry, narrow tunnel that extended about six feet. I crawled inside. Rocks jabbed into my sides from all around, and it was very uncomfortable, but I was safe, and tired. I had just noticed it was fairly dark, and a thin fog was coming over the water. Thoughts zoomed in and out of my head, and one question continued to nag me. What did Custos mean by ‘such times’? And what did it have to do with me? Questions like these drove me into a sleep that showed no promise of true rest, but it was sleep non-the-less. Dreams and visions flooded my head. I was standing on my cliff, as I stood watching over the beach. Creatures with long nails and hunched backs, with teeth sharper than swords invaded the peaceful scenery. They were headed towards me. Custos jumped out, and kicked one. It let out a loud roar, and another scratched Custos across his chest. Custos hit another with his fist, and it fell to the soft sand, but got up again. A larger one bit one of Custos’ legs, and he fell, helpless. He kicked and fought, and I could hear Custos let out a shriek of pain. It was like an animal being killed, and it was. It was ear-piercing, and I covered my ears. The largest one jumped at him, and ripped his throat out.
“Custos!” I screamed, but he was dead. One turned and looked at me, blood dripping from his chin. He climbed up the cliff, then, mouth open wide, he jumped at my throat. Then I woke up, scared. I pulled myself out of my little cave and made my way down my cliff. Sharp rocks dug into my feet, and they bled, leaving a trail behind me. I had left my shoes, but there was no time to waste. It began to rain, making the rocks slippery. I slipped, and a rock gouged into my leg, and I fell forward and hit my head on a rock. I couldn’t stand up straight, but I had to keep going. There was fog, and rain, and I saw double. I walked dizzily, and everything was blurry, and I was confused.
“Custos! Custos!” I felt my feet hit the sand, and the sand went into my wounds. But I didn’t care. Blood was gushing down my face, and the rain couldn’t wash it away fast enough. I started to run, and I ran into something. I fell down in the sand, and laid there. I gave up. The sand around me was stained red with my blood. I couldn’t feel my leg anymore. A strong hand grabbed me, and I didn’t care who it was, but I hoped it was Custos.
“Custos?” I asked. I heard his voice, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He pulled me up onto his back, and I began to slip off. He caught me, and laid me sideways on my belly.
“Run. They’re coming!” I told him. I couldn’t hear his answer, but his tone was confused.
“Run. We’re not safe. They’re going to kill us. They know we’re here.” I instantly felt him go into a gallop. I didn’t know if I should have been frightened or not. But I felt the world fading out as it had done before when I had seen Sydney in the woods. Sydney! Oh my gosh! Where’s Sydney? Is she ok? Is she here too?
“Sydney! Custos where’s Syd…Where’s S… Where’s….” The world was swallowed up into a black hole, and I heard the thunder, and I heard growling in the distance. We had escaped, and I hoped I could say that much for Sydney.
* * * * * *
I opened my eyes, and the first thing I felt was pain. Pain in my head, my feet, and my leg. Custos was staring down at me. I saw his face more clearly than last night. I looked around. There was a little pool that was hot and steamy, at the surface. I wanted to dive in and soak it all up, but my body won’t cooperate. I’m laying in soft grass, and the thin blades cling to me. They tickle everything that moves. There are vines twisting their way up tree trunks, and purple blossoms are spread out among them. I look to my right, at the little pool, and my whole body aches for it. I look at my leg, but I have to look away instantly. There is dry blood caked on my leg, and the sore is deep. I turn my head away, and I see Custos, still staring over me. I realize he is talking to me.
“You hit your head really hard last night, and you saved both of us.” He said.
“How did you do it?”
“I dreamed it. It was like a vision, like I saw the future or something.” I said, questioning it myself.
“Alga was right. You are very powerful. That is a very hard skill to master. I myself have not.” I began to think about last night. Then the same question popped in my head.
“Custos, where’s Sydney?” I asked.
“Who?” He looked confused.
“Sydney?” He still looked at me like I was crazy.
“Custos, did anyone else enter Bethsaidia with me?” I asked. He looked away.
“No.” He said.
“Custos, you aren’t the best liar. Now yes or no?” I didn’t really know if he was lying, but there was something about his answer.
“What?” he asked, stalling. I was getting mad now and I could feel the angry words coming up my throat, but I swallowed them. I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with the only person I knew.
“Custos? I need to know. When I came into the world, was I the only one?” I said, restraining myself. He sat there.
“Was there anyone else?” I paused. “Custos. Tell me!”
“Yes! Yes! Alright!” I didn’t know whether to be happy she was here or not. On one hand, I wasn’t alone, and I knew she was here with me. On the other hand, she’s not exactly with me. Not sitting next to me anyway.
“Is she alright?” He sat there, silent. Anger rushed over me, and this time I didn’t hold back.
“Tell me! That’s my little sister out there! If you don’t help me, I’ll go out myself! I thought you were here to help me! If this is what you meant by “help” I could do that myself! Go away!” I didn’t really mean any of that stuff. I was just so mad he wouldn’t tell me where Sydney was. I didn’t want him to leave. He hung his head, thinking.
“Custos, please tell me.” He wouldn’t speak for a moment.
“She’s in the forbidden land.” He said finally.
“How do we get there? Is she ok?” I asked frantically. Any place called the forbidden land was not exactly where I wanted my sister.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you. We can’t go there. It’s forbidden! Hence the name! Forbidden land. It’s self-explanatory.”
“Show me!”
“No!”
“Show me!”
“No!”
I reached out and touched him, hoping to see another vision. I had done it once; I could do it again, right? I did. My vision led me across Bethsaidia. To the end of the world, literally. The land was flat, and at the edge there was a waterfall of fire. Just at the tip was castle. My vision pulled me inside. There was Sydney. Her eyes black, and her fangs were sharp. Two of the creatures I had seen on the beach were by her. They bowed before Sydney, and I could tell they were afraid of her.
“Find her!” She hissed. After they left, she looked right at me.
“I’m coming.” She said, and laughed. She sent a blast of magic, sending me out of the vision, and tumbling backwards into the sand. I let out a scream of pain, and pulled my leg out from under me.
“Don’t do that! Every time you see her, she can see you! She can find you, and she will!”
“What’s wrong with her!? Why would she want to kill me?”
“Remember when I told you the evil ones wanted to kill the humans?” I nodded. “Your sister is possessed by Veldin. She was, and is their leader. That was the battle that was fought when my parents…” he trailed off. I nodded so he didn’t have to continue. “There was a human. No one remembers his name. But he defeated her. She did not die, however. Her spirit was alive, but she needed a body. A prey. The hero’s brother is one of the six who went to find her spirit, but it was trapped in the human world, and they could not get to it. It has never been disturbed, until now. There is a prophesy that history will repeat itself, but this time, the evil Queen, Veldin, and her prey will both die by the sword of the hero, and her spirit can never be summoned again.”
“But, I’ve been in the woods a billion times… at least I’ve looked in there. How come it just appeared now?”
“It appeared to Sydney because she’s the prey. You are the hero.” He said.
“But…that means. I have to kill the prey?”
“Yes.”
“And Sydney’s the prey?”
“Yes.”
“No! I’m not going to do it! I can’t kill her! No one on Earth or Bethsaidia could ever make me do it.”
“Aw! But you will. Bethsaidia has a way of making you forget. And slowly, you will grasp the concept, and go along with it.”
Do you like my story?
It is time to get your story published! I can%26#039;t believe you are
a teenager writing that good. You have a strong concept of
words and use them nicely. Yes there are a few grammer
mistakes, but they can be cleaned up in no time.
Bravo!
Reply:it was very gooooooooood a 8 because of the sad ending. Report It
Reply:I give this a 10!!! I am 14 and love writing but i am no where near as good as you are it was awesome. you should definitely get this revised and edited and then published. Report It
Reply:damn girl, you got skills xD! Report It
Reply:that was an extremely detailed story you are very very very very good i couldnt stop reading it if you dont get this published you would be a fool your use of words is great 10/10 brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:9.6
Reply:9, veeeery good, but there were a FEW grammar mistakes, and spelling mistakes, but that can be fixed easily
:]
Reply:8.5/10
That is brilliant writing for your age. The only reasons I didn%26#039;t give you 10/10, are very minor. If you wouldn%26#039;t mind, I%26#039;d love to show you my reasons, and share a few pointers so that you can improve still further:
1. In the beginning, it seems as if you%26#039;re trying to fit all of this information into a space where it won%26#039;t fit. It seems a bit jumbled. If, for example, you described your character%26#039;s looks by having her glance in a mirror, or see a reflection in a window, it would fit in better. %26#039;Show, Don%26#039;t Tell%26#039; is the most famous advice for writers.
2. Once your character falls into Bethsaidia, there seems to bit a bit too much danger in it, if you will. It%26#039;s almost like you%26#039;re trying to make it exciting by adding too much risk. If you try and smooth it out, so that it fits together, that would be great
3. Description. Again, %26#039;Show, don%26#039;t Tell%26#039;. For example, when you%26#039;re describing Custos, you mention horse ears, and a horse%26#039;s lower body. If you maybe mentioned your character seeing hooves, and then as she stands, she follows the horse part, until she gets to the %26#039;human%26#039; part, then you could describe his face and such by actions. (i.e %26#039;he looked at her with dark brown eyes...%26#039;)
4. Try and cut down on %26#039;sound words%26#039;. Instead of saying %26#039;Crack!%26#039; when the ice shatters, actually describe the ice shattering.
5. I would also suggest adding a few flaws to your characters. Nobody%26#039;s perfect, and characters with flaws add to the story, more than retract from it. In the novel I%26#039;m writing, I%26#039;m actually having trouble decreasing my characters flaws, instead of adding to their strengths.
I am thoroughly, thoroughly impressed with your writing, I must say. I hope you%26#039;ll use these guidelines to help you along.
Wishing you all the best of lick in your own writing!
~Tiger
Reply:Hey!
For a 12 year old, it%26#039;s excellent! i would give it an 8, because some of your sentences are too short, and sometimes you use words that you dont quite understand in your story. Make your story more fluid, like a river. You dont have to have super short sentences. Also, you dont have to dwell on every little detail such as brushing hair or eating cookies for breakfast, you know? If you want to add detail, add emotional detail, like how you felt when your Grandmother stood up for Sydney, etc. But also dont make her perfect, and like you said, an angel. She can have a few flaws too, she shoud not be perfect. Lol. And maybe dont tell us how perfect she is all the time and that your not as incredible. Give yourself some credit for something. Don%26#039;t make yourself sound boring! The main character should be interesting.
Maybe ask your mom or dad to edit it?
Good Luck!
Reply:WOW!!! I love it!! But try not to start every sentence with I.
GOOD, GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:7. Amazing story. Im 13 and your writing is similar to mine. Im always told the same thing though; lengthen your sentences. I think it would apply to you as well. Also, another thing that aplies to us both; to much detail.
Good story though.
Reply:wow. holy crap that%26#039;s the best story I%26#039;ve EVER read from someone your age.. when i was 12, i had troubles writing a paragraph for school haha. i%26#039;m 14 now, and i%26#039;m somewhat better, but nothing still compared to this! keep writing, this could pay VERY well if you practice, and get someone reliable to edit it!
keep up the good work!
-stephen.
Reply:You are twelve? wOw! Gr8 imagery!! I%26#039;m jealous... by the time your in highschool you%26#039;ll be writing novels.
Reply:pretty good except the grammar but you can sure write a story
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Chapter 1
This is a story about me. My name is Mackenzie, and I’m thirteen years old. I look pretty ordinary. I have blonde hair and icy blue eyes. Each eye has a light grey ring around its pupil. I live with my grandma, who is sixty-eight years old. Despite her age, she is in very good shape, and I know she’s going to live for a long time. My mom’s grandma had just died, and they went all the way to Washington to bury her. They are going to be gone a while.
Today was finally Friday. I just woke up and I already couldn’t wait until the end of the day. Most people wake up saying “It’s a brand new day!” I wake up and say “Is it morning already?” Some things about me are not compatible. Here’s one thing: I hate mornings, but I can’t sleep in. To me it’s just impossible! I wake up at 7 or 8a.m. and I can’t ever get back to sleep.
I pulled myself out of bed and began to get ready. I ran a brush through my hair, and it fell down on my shoulders like silk. I smiled at myself. Good hair day. I kicked off my pajama pants, and pulled on my jeans. I took off my blue shirt, the one with a big snowflake on it, and then changed my shirt several times until I had just the right one. I slipped on each tennis shoe then, realizing I had my left foot in my right shoe and vise-versa, I kicked then off and put each of my feet in its proper shoe. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked better than usual, yet the same. I guess Fridays make everything look better. I ran down the stairs, and fell down most of them.
“Bye grandma!” I nearly screamed it at her as I tried to catch the bus. I put a piece of bacon in my mouth and ripped a pancake in half. I folded the pancake and put it in my mouth and swallowed. I grabbed my books and ran out the door just as the bus pulled up. I let out a sigh of relief as I stepped onto the bus. I looked toward the third row where Sydney always sat waiting for me.
“Mackenzie! Over here! Over here!” I walked over and sat next to her.
“Look at my feet!” I looked there a moment. She didn’t wait for me to answer, and I was glad she didn’t because I had no idea what she was talking about.
“I got new shoes!” She squealed in my ear. I looked again. They were different shoes, but they were far from new. The material was faded, and the little plastic jewels were falling off. The laces were a dingy brown and they were worn thin, and looked as if they would snap any second. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I replied,
“That’s really neat, Sydney!” I tried to sound excited. My voice came out in a fake tone, almost like a commercial, but Sydney was too excited to notice. She pointed her toes and kicked them back and forth excitedly. The bus finally came to a stop that jerked us all forward. Sydney was first off the bus. She walked slowly to class, looking at her feet all the while. I had to occasionally move her out of the way of other students and grumpy teachers and parents who mumbled curse words under their breath if little ten-year-old Sydney accidentally ran into them. We walked up the stairs, and Sydney tripped on every one. Sydney is like my sister, but not by blood.
“Aren’t they great?” She asked as if it wasn’t a question, and she believed with all her heart I would say yes. Sydney’s family is poor. That’s why her shoes aren’t new, but she is always excited to have something that is new to her. She doesn’t get many things because of their financial problems. I told her good bye as we came to her classroom.
“Meet me by the bench under the oak tree.” I told her.
“The bench on the playground?” She asked. I nodded my head up and down. You see, every Friday Sydney comes over to my house after school. We never have to ask her mom, because we know her mom doesn’t mind. To tell you the sad truth, I don’t even think she cares about Sydney or her brothers. I’ve never said anything about it to Sydney, but I know she knows it. Sometimes I wonder how she can be happy. I waved one last goodbye to her, than turned to go so I wouldn’t be late for class. Friday seems to be the longest day of the week! But finally, the bell rang for dismissal. I found Sydney just where I had told her to go and she waited impatiently.
“Kenzie!” She screamed across the field. Sometimes when Sydney gets excited, she calls me Kenzie. It’s like she’s so excited she can’t even get the first part of my name out in time to say my full name. I took her hand and she nearly pulled my arm out of socket as we skipped to the bus.
“What do you want to do today?” She asked me.
“Well, yesterday, I saw this show about extreme makeovers and…”
“Can we do one of those?” she interrupted. I had been getting there, but I let her think it was her idea.
“Sure. I’ll do you, ok?” Sydney jerked her head up and down, and I thought she’d nod it right off her shoulders.
“Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.” Sydney said to all the houses that weren’t mine.
“Nope. Nope. Nope. There! There! I see it!” Sydney got up as soon as the bus stopped. She ran to the front of the bus, and jumped all the stairs. I reached into my pocket and fumbled with the house key. Sydney bit her bottom lip excitedly. She had been over a billion times, but to her it was still a treat. I finally got the key out, and unlocked the door. Sydney looked around as if she’d never been here. We walked to the kitchen first to rinse her hair in the big sink. It was shiny clean because I had told my grandma my plans with Sydney. She leaned back, and I sprayed her hair with warm water from the sprayer by the sink. Our laughter filled the kitchen. When her hair had been washed with my special conditioner, I wrapped her hair in a towel, and we headed to my room. I took the towel off and her head, and her hair laid on top off her head in a big knot.
“I think we’re done.” I joked, and she laughed. I sat criss-crossed behind her on the bed, and ran a comb through her hair. The comb ran through easily. I parted her hair straight down the middle. It was perfectly straight. I could never seem to do that with my hair. I ran my fingers through her hair. It was a rich chocolate color that made her green eyes all the more brighter. Sydney shivered. Her clothes were wet. I walked into my closet and pulled out a box on the top shelf. It was a box of clothes that didn’t fit, but I refused to give up. I picked up a beautiful dress. It was a soft shade of pink. I pulled it out. Sydney’s eyes widened.
“Wow!” And ‘wow’ it was. It was gorgeous! It had thin straps, and the skirt of the dress spread out all around you if you spun around. We blow dried Sydney’s hair so the dress wouldn’t get wet. I curled it, and put a small pink flower behind her ear to match the dress. She slipped the dress on, and some pink ballet slippers that I had had since I was about seven, but they fit her little feet. I stood back to examine my results. She was beautiful! She looked like a princess right out of a storybook. We finally finished at 7:00. Even though it was early, all the excitement wiped us both out. We turned a movie on. About thirty minutes into the movie the silence was getting on my nerves.
“So how’s school?” I asked. No answer. I looked down at the sleeping figure on the floor. I picked her up. I felt her ribs through her dress. Poor Sydney. She’s been through so much, and she came out with nothing. I laid her on the bed. She looked like sleeping beauty. I kissed her on her forehead. I got in bed behind her, and pulled the blanket up to our chins. Sydney rubbed her cheek against the soft material. I did too. I sat there and looked up ay my ceiling. Great, more silence. I finally fell into a peaceful slumber.
When I finally awoke, Sydney was not there. I sat up and looked around. I saw Sydney sitting by the window, with the sun shining on her face. The tune on the DVD’s menu played again and again. I turned it off, and Sydney jerked her head around. The sun shined all around her, and she looked like an angel from heaven. She smiled. Sydney had a smile that lit up the night sky. It was breath taking. Her teeth were white, and all straight in a row. She did not have two huge front teeth like the other kids in her class.
“What do you wanna do today?” she asked me. I knew what she wanted to do. So we went downstairs to watch Saturday cartoons. Sydney doesn’t have cartoons because she doesn’t have a TV. She laughed at everything. I’m not sure most the things she laughed at were even supposed to funny. After the cartoons were over, she begged to watch the re-runs, and I couldn’t bring myself to say no. Finally they ended. Sydney walked outside to the trampoline. My heart dropped. I decided to go first. I just ran around in circles.
Sydney and I are complete opposites. She loves life and lives it to the fullest, and I am scared of it and always have been. On rainy days, I avoid all puddles because I always suspect they are deeper than they appear. Sydney jumps and splashes in every single one.
Before I knew it, it was Sydney’s turn. She stood at one end and began to jump, higher and higher and did a back flip. She landed on her knees sending her into a front flip. After she was done I noticed I had my hand over my mouth in nervousness. I hated watching her flip around like a rag doll that could fall apart at any moment. She flipped backwards again. It took me a while to realize I wasn’t breathing. I let out a breath. She climbed off the trampoline. I looked at her. Her eyes were hollow, and she was pale all over. The skin underneath her nails was purple. I could see her heart thumping hard through her dress. I saw her rib cage grow and shrink with every breath. I swallowed hard as poor Sydney gasped for air.
“I’m bored of this. Let’s go inside.” I lied. I did like jumping, but I was scared for her. She had something wrong with her heart. I don’t know much about it, all I know is it didn’t function properly. I asked her about it once, and she simply replied,
“What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong?” But I could tell she knew exactly what I was talking about. I took her hand. It was freezing, colder than ice. We made our way back up to my room. Each step was laborious for Sydney, but I didn’t help her. She was a very stubborn, strong minded, independent girl. She took a step and collapsed into my arms. She rested there, in my arms, for a few moments, and then made the next step. I felt so helpless. When we made it back to my room, she lay on my bed and her eyelids fell heavily over her eyes. She was falling asleep. Whenever Sydney gets excited, her heart beats faster than it’s supposed to, and by the time she calms down, she is exhausted. Despite all this, Sydney lives life as if her heart problem doesn’t even exist. I sometimes feel bad I have a good heart, and Sydney doesn’t. Inside, I know Sydney thinks I’m throwing that away by not living life to the fullest, and I know that it is true. I looked down at her. Her cheeks were rosy, and she was no longer pale. My fingertips outlined her jawbone. Her face was still cold. I pulled the blanket up closer around her chin. She snuggled down into its warmth. She smiled and looked up at me. Her eyes were no longer hollow holes, but were now shimmering, full of life and adventure as they always were. I walked downstairs to grab a bite to eat. I had skipped breakfast. I grabbed a cookie. A very healthy breakfast. When I came back, Sydney was asleep, and her face looked troubled. She groaned and whined in her sleep. I took her hand. She opened her eyes. They reflected the fear that Sydney felt inside, but tried so hard to hide from the world.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“Yeah.... I’m o.k.” She replied. Her voice shook with emotion, and her facial expressions told me otherwise. Her eyes were red and puffy, and filled with tears, but she did not let them fall. The only time I had seen her cry was five years ago on the bus, the first time we met. Her father had left, and they didn’t know where. There were no reports of anyone seeing him anywhere. That’s why they had financial problems. Just then my grandma walked in.
“You ready to go home?” She asked Sydney. Sydney nodded her head, but I could tell she was somewhere else. In another place, another time, another moment. She followed us robotically in the car. The car ride was a long one, and Sydney didn’t say a word the whole way there.
‘What did she see in the dream?’ I wondered. We pulled up to a building that could hardly be called a house. Her mom was outside folding laundry. There wasn’t much. We let Sydney out of the car. Her mom looked confused. She hadn’t noticed Sydney had left in the first place. I felt bad for her. I wish we could take her away and never bring her back.
“Thank you.” Was all her mom said, and you could tell she didn’t mean it. My fists clenched and I could hear my teeth grinding. I could tell grandma was upset too. Sydney, still deep in thought, walked inside. I looked in after her. She began to help with the dishes. CRASH! A dish was shattered on the floor.
“Stupid, good for nothing, child!” Her mom screamed and raised her hand. Grandma reached out and grabbed the lady’s wrist. The lady turned and met Grandma’s gaze. The look on her face was angry, but turned to one of fear as she looked into my grandma’s eyes. I knew that look. I had received it many times, but this one seemed even worse. I stroked my hand down Grandma’s arm. I didn’t want her to do anything she’d regret. She released her hand. There was a white mark in the shape of Grandma’s hand, which turned red in a few seconds.
“If you touch that child, I swear, I’ll be back, and I’ll make sure you won’t be. And that is a promise.” My grandma said through clenched teeth. I knew she meant it too. My heart thumped.
“Get in the car.” She told me, and I obeyed immediately. Grandma walked to the car, stomping each foot with every step. She slammed the door shut. I waited until she cooled down then I asked,
“Why didn’t we take her home?” Grandma sighed.
“Honey, I wish we could have. Women like that don’t deserve kids like Sydney. But it ain’t legal.” I sighed a sigh of disappointment.
“But Honey, if I could have, believe me, I would have snatched her up and made her my own.” She smiled.
“That’s a promise.” And I believed her.
Chapter 2
I woke up the next day remembering it all as a dream, but knowing it wasn’t. Sunday was long and boring. I decided to go visit the creek outside the woods. I was surprised to find Sydney there. There was a small multitude of blankets in a pile, which I guessed to be a bed. I guessed she had walked here after the fight, and slept here as well. But then again, I guess a lot.
“Hi.” She said. But her face did not glow with the glow I knew Sydney had.
“You ok?” I asked. She did a cartwheel. I knew she wasn’t listening to me. She did several in a row. I bit my lip, trying my best not to say anything. Her face was starting to look pale already. I sat there a moment. She did it again and again until she was gasping for air, and unable to hold herself up in the cartwheel. But she continued, again and again.
“Stop that.” I told her finally.
“Why?” She asked panting. It seemed as if just saying that one word took a lot of effort. She did another.
“Stop! Your gonna hurt yourself!” She stood up, offended.
“I’m.... just…fine…thank…you!” She said. She looked like was going to pass out, but she did another.
“You’re not fine!” She stopped for a few minutes, until she caught her breath.
“Look! It’s none of your business what I do! I’m fine! There’s nothing wrong with me! I’m fine!” She screamed angrily. She started off for the forest. I tried to grab her, but she pushed me away and began to run. She disappeared into the forest. I stopped at the edge. It was the borderline between here and the forest. I ran in after her.
“Sydney! Sydney! Where are you?! Sydney!” I screamed. I saw her crouched down by a strange plant. It was beautiful. We forgot about everything. We even forgot we had been fighting.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I…I don’t know.” She said, intrigued. I took a step towards it. CRUNCH! I looked down. The forest was full of life and trees and plants, but in this particular spot, everything was dead. Nothing surrounded this plant.
“Sydney?” I asked.
“Shh!” she told me. She reached out a small finger.
“Sydney don’t!” She looked at me. A mischievous smile came over her face. She reached out her little finger and touched it. Something shot out of it. The plant withered away. I looked at Sydney. A needle penetrated through her throat. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell to the floor of the forest.
“Sydney!” I put her head in my lap.
“Sydney! Wake up!” Her heart began to beat and her body shook in rhythm with her thumping heart. Her nails dug into the soft earth, and her face cringed with pain, and all the veins inside her glowed. The toes on her feet curled and she locked her knees. Her mouth opened, and she foamed.
“Kenzie.” She said it so softly, I wasn’t sure if maybe I had imagined it. But there was pain hidden in her voice. Her eyes opened. She looked past me, at nothing. I could hear her heart beating. Her throat began to swell, and it squeaked when she breathed in. She was suffocating! Black began to swallow up her bright green eyes, until her whole eye was black. Her whole body shook.
“Sydney! Don’t leave me. Please stay with me. You’re my little sister, and I love you. Snap out of it. I know you can!” She growled and hissed and she jerked her head around, like she was possessed.
“Sydney? Sydney? Stay with me. I love you Sydney!” There was a loud ear-piercing scream. Sydney’s body jerked. Something like a blur left her and I saw it fly deep into the forest. The trees seemed to part as is passed. Sydney sat up, vomiting and whimpering. Her body was still shaking. The wind blew cold like that of winter. Sydney’s lips looked like scales, and she was paler than I have ever seen her before. Her lips were blue, and she was fighting to keep her eyes open.
“Don’t close your eyes!” I told her. I was afraid if she closed them, she would not open them again.
“My eyelids are so heavy. They won’t stay open.” She whispered.
“Let’s go. I don’t like this place.” She coughed. I picked her up, and carried her out of there as fast as I could. Her body flapped lifelessly in my arms. Tears were running down my face and the same thing went through my head again and again. ‘Don’t die Sydney, don’t die!’ I breathed deeply and the cold pierced my lungs like a thousand needles. ‘Don’t die!’ My throat went numb. My legs burned, but I wouldn’t stop running. So I ran, faster and faster. The woods like a maze, and I can’t find my way out. But I keep running, not thinking, not knowing, not caring. I looked left and right confused. The forest is tricking me, and I could almost hear the trees laughing at me. I ran in one direction. I couldn’t find my way out, and the forest wouldn’t let me out. Everything looks the same in every direction. I looked down at Sydney. I hardly recognized her. Her face was so pale, and her skin is almost transparent. But there was no way out. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, with no one to help. I was cold, and Sydney felt cold in my arms. I pulled her closer. I fell to my knees. She was getting heavier and heavier and I couldn’t hold her. A lump formed in my throat. I could do nothing, and I hated myself for it.
“Sydney?” There was no answer.
“Oh, Sydney. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Her hand touched my face.
“It’s not your fault.” She whispered. She lay there a moment, and slowly sat up. Color began to return to her face. The wind was no longer blowing, and as I looked around, everything was clear, but it was a long way back. She insisted on walking. She was the stubborn young girl I knew, and I smiled. We walked for a long time, and Sydney touched everything excitedly. We stopped at the creek, the one inside the forest, to soak our feet in its warm water.
“Sydney? I know you don’t wanna tell me, but please. What did you see in your dream?” Sydney let out a sigh.
“I don’t know. It was…I mean…I think it was my dad. He was calling me. He told me to get up and go. Something or someone is calling me. Away from here, away from you. I don’t wanna go, but something inside keeps telling me to.” Sydney’s voice began to shake. I held her close, but she refused to cry. She just breathed heavily.
“Let’s go.” She told me, and walked away. We neared the spot where the mysterious plant once was, but now lay withered. As we passed, Sydney grabbed her head and screamed.
“Kenzie! My head! Kenzie help! He’s calling me again! It’s calling me! She’s calling me!” I didn’t know what to do. What did Sydney mean by ‘she’? But it was no time to think about that. She buried her face in her hands. She did not look at me. She breathed awkwardly.
“Sydney?” Pause.
“Sydney, are you ok?” She turned. Her eyes were black as night. The wind blew cold again. She laughed an evil laugh that wasn’t hers. She ran towards me, I took a few steps back and tripped. She leaned over me, breathing heavily. She drew closer, and closer, and closer until she was three inches from my face. She stopped, and stood upright. Her face turned westward. She ran with a speed that was un-human. I was scared, but I ran after her anyway. That was my sister. I ran faster and faster. I heard a noise behind me. I turned around, still running. Nothing was there. I heard it in front of me I turned. I branch hit me in the head. I fell over backwards. The world was different colors. It all began to fade into to darkness.
“Sydney! Sydney!” I couldn’t scream. My body wouldn’t do what I wanted it to. I felt like I was dying. I lay there, unconscious, unknowing of the dangers around me.
* * * * * *
I felt strange, as if waking from a dream. I rubbed my eyes, and everything was blurry. I felt a big knot on my head. My head was throbbing like crazy. I tried to sit up, but slowly laid back down. The sun was blinding my eyes. I groaned and sat up as my head flopped about. I sat there a moment out of breath. I looked around. I felt watched. I noticed I wasn’t where I thought I was. There were weeping willows instead of pines, and there was hot sand all around me. The view was amazing, not like the forest I knew.
“Where am I?” I asked myself. My voice sounded funny in the silence of the trees.
“You’re in Bethsaidia.” A deep voice told me. The voice was unfamiliar. I jerked my head around, and jumped to my feet, surprised and afraid. There was a tall man standing over me. His skin was tan and his eyes were a dark shade of brown. He had dark hair. I looked at him. He had horse ears, and a horse’s body from his waist down.
“Ahhhh!” I screamed, and it echoed. He covered my mouth with his hand, and he almost pushed me over in the process.
“Shh! They’re going to hear us! Don’t make a sound!” He told me in a stern voice. He looked around, then nodded as if he was sure all was well. He removed his hand and I didn’t dare scream.
“Who are you?” I asked finally.
“I am Custos, your guardian.” He stood up, tall and proud.
“I’m Mackenzie.” I told him, not really noticing I had said it. I was still looking at how he…formed together. Beneath his waist, the horse was white as snow.
“So, are there more of you? Like, more fantasy creatures?” I asked. He stomped a hoof and yelled angrily.
“We are not fantasy! You humans are just so closed minded. Boy, have you changed!”
“Changed?” I asked confused. He turned to me, but his eyes did not look at me. He looked as if he was visiting a memory.
“Many years ago, man and creature could speak to each other. We got along. Then man one day decided they were better than us. We separated ourselves from them. That’s why we are from other worlds. Slowly over the years, man has forgotten us. You rot your minds with junk, and you forget. We started our own world, where we could live without conflict. This is where it all happened.” He nodded his head up and down, thinking.
“Ok, and what exactly happened here?” I asked, still confused.
“The beginning of Bethsaidia. In the Garden of Alkera.” He said. A peace came over his voice.
“Alkera?” I asked.
“It’s the ancient language of the Bethsaidians. It is spoken by very few people. Alkera means separated.” He looked around. The wind blew gently against my cheek.
“Here I come.” It was quiet, as if whispered by the wind.
“What?” I asked myself.
“Is something wrong?” He asked.
“Didn’t you hear that?”
“What?” I heard it again. I looked up at him.
“Someone’s coming.” He jerked his head around as if looking.
“Where did you hear that?” He asked.
“Here. Just now. Like, five seconds ago! Why? Who’s coming?” He looked all around him.
“They know you’re here.”
“Who?” I asked frantically.
“We can’t talk here. Get on!” I watched as all four legs bent down to my level, and I awkwardly got on. He lunged forward, and I nearly fell off. I leaned against his back. His body was warm and I felt his muscles flex and relax below me. He ran very fast. The wind stung my eyes, and tears ran down my cheeks, but I didn’t dare let go to wipe them away. Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! All four hooves sang together in rhythm to each other and the world around me. His mane tickling my cheek as his tail whipped behind us. The wind blew through my hair. A fuzzy sound was being whispered in my ears, but became clearer until I heard it crystal clear.
“I’m still coming. I’m still coming.” I clung tighter. I was so scared. It took me a while to realize we had stopped.
“Mackenzie? Are you ok?” he asked me.
“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.” I lied.
“You’re scared.” It took me by surprise.
“How did you know?” I asked, curiously.
“I felt it. Here in Bethsaidia, if you come in contact with someone, and the feeling is strong enough, you feel it as if it was your own.” I leaned in close to him. I felt nothing.
“Why can’t I feel your feelings?” I asked.
“You haven’t been here long enough.” He told me. I felt a strange feeling of jealousy, and I climbed off before he could sense it. I looked around. It was no longer a beautiful forest with warm sand. It was cold with snow all around. The tip of my nose was numb, and I breathed hot air into my hands to make them warmer.
“Why is it so cold?” I asked.
“It is winter here. Here in Bethsaidia, it depends on where you are. Different places have different seasons. Doesn’t it work that way on Earth?” He asked. I felt a sense of pride. I knew something he didn’t. Even if it wasn’t his fault I couldn’t help but smile.
“No. On Earth, you can’t just run somewhere. It depends on where the sun shines. It shines in different places at different times of the year. On Earth a year is 365 days.” I told him. I threw in that last part so I could sound super smart.
“Funny. Here in Bethsaidia, a year is 122 days. What a difference. That means if you were here for one year, you’d have been gone for a few days on Earth.” My eyes widened and my jaw dropped.
“How did you figure that out in you head? I can’t even figure it out on paper.” I told him.
“We here are born smart. Humans used to be, but you are now filled with all kinds of junk that has made you…. not as smart as before.” He told me. I stomped my foot. I wanted to punch him, but I couldn’t even reach his face!
“I’ll have you know I have an A-B average…and a C in math.” I said the last part quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear, but he couldn’t say I never told him. It had only been maybe a few short minutes, and I already felt safe with him. There was a howl in the distance. It sounded far away. He made a clicking sound with his tongue and some kind of strange gargling sound in his throat. It echoed, then was answered by a howl.
“That’s how we communicate. So the others don’t know.” He told me.
“Others?” I asked.
“The evil ones. They haven’t forgiven humans for what they did in the past. They swore an oath that if there were another human, they would kill them once all is fulfilled. That’s why it is bad that they know you are here. They want to kill you.” I didn’t have to ask. I knew that’s who was whispering to me. And the whole ‘once all is fulfilled’ thing, I was positive I didn’t want to know. I climbed back on, and was happy to lay against the warmth of his fur. He walked at a slow, steady pace. I closed my eyes and just listened. The sound of his walk changed. I opened my eyes. We were on the ice. I tensed up.
“It’s ok.” He told me. I didn’t believe him. I looked across. This lake was a wide one. A loud booming sound was under us.
“Caedo.” I didn’t need to feel his feelings to know he was just as scared as me.
“Caedo means ‘it kills’ and it does.” His body shook under me. The booming continued until…crack! The ice behind us began to slit in two. Custos ran. The ice cracking at his heels as water burst through the surface. I felt him breathing. The ice broke in front of us. He stopped suddenly, and I flew off into the ice-cold water. Things like leaches dug their teeth into every part of my body, creating sores as big as quarters. They began to suck my blood, and I felt my energy drain. I could see Custos getting smaller as I sank deeper and deeper. The leach-like creatures swam away, and two huge, golden eyes looked straight at me. I looked at its eyes, intrigued. I didn’t notice the creature getting closer, and closer, or that its tentacles were going up my legs, my ribs, my arms, my neck, until it tightened its grip on my neck, and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t struggle, and I didn’t look away. Suddenly, an arrow shot through the water, and struck it in the eye. It let out an ear-piecing scream that literally left my ears ringing. I realized I couldn’t breath. The pressure of the water was all around me, constricting me. I thrashed out violently. I let all my air out and watched it float away. Someone or something grabbed me and pulled me through the surface. I took in a deep breath of air. It stung. My lungs were full of the sea. I coughed and water gushed out. I rubbed my eyes, and pushed my hair out of my face. I looked up at my rescuer. She smiled at me. She was a mermaid. Her skin was a soft blue, and her hair was teal with lime green streaks. She had blue eyes, like my mine. Her hand was on mine. I looked at it. Her nails were long and there was a thin layer of skin between her fingers. She had seaweed wrapped around her middle to use as a shirt. She also had a tail. It had green scales all over. She had on a necklace. It was a coin with a picture engraved in it. The picture was of a young girl. The girl’s face was smudged from time.
“Hello?” I looked up. It looked like she had asked me a question.
“Sorry, what?” I asked.
“Are you all right?” She asked.
“Everything hurts.” I wined.
“I bet! You got attacked by cruors. They are blood suckers. They burrow into your skin and eat you from the inside out. There were a lot too. It’s a surprise you lived. You are a very strong girl.” She said. I couldn’t help feeling flattered. I looked at my arm. There were sores all up and down my arms. She ran her hand down her tail. There was slime all over her hand.
“Hold still.” She told me. I didn’t even want to know what she was going to do. She rubbed it all over my body. The skin began to grow over my sores, until there was no sign I had even had sores.
“Wow. How’d you do that?” I asked.
“Vigoratus.” She said, showing it to me.
“Vigoratus?” I asked.
“It can only be found in the water. Over time it gathers on things. It heals sores of all kind.”
“So, it gathers on your tail?” I asked.
“Yeah.” She said.
“Do you wanna touch it?” she asked.
“Sure.” I said. I reached over and touched it. I looked at my hand. It was all gooey. I wiped it on my jeans. I shivered. I felt an ice-cold hand on my shoulder. I turned. It was Custos.
“I…I… are you ok?” he asked.
“I’m fine. This is…” I realized I didn’t know her name.
“My name is Alga.” She said.
“My parent’s are old fashioned. It means seaweed.” From the look on her face I guessed that wasn’t a bad thing…somehow.
“We have to go.” I stood up.
“Wait.” She grabbed my hand. I knelt next to her.
“Here.” She took the necklace off her neck and put it around mine.
“Good luck.” She whispered.
“Thanks. For everything.” I told her. My hand was still in hers. She looked at my palm. She laid her hand flat against mine and closed her eyes. She sat there a moment.
“You are a very brave girl. And powerful.”
“Powerful? What power.” I asked.
“The power is inside you. You just have to dig deep. You’ll find it. You’ll find it.” I thought about it. Power? Bravery? Yeah right.
“You don’t believe me?” I didn’t look into her eyes. She laughed.
“You’ll see.” I took my hand away. I walked next to Custos. I felt small next to him.
“Look. I’m sorry. It’s just… water and I…..” He didn’t have to finish. I knew what he meant. I climbed on his back. I remembered the necklace Alga had given me. I looked at it. It was of a girl in a dress with a staff. She was standing on a cliff looking over the land. I couldn’t see her face. I figured she was a legend in Bethsaidia.
“Custos? What was Alga doing with my hand? She wasn’t feeling what I was feeling, because I don’t feel brave.” I told him.
“Mermaids are different. They’ve been around the longest. They can feel what’s deep inside you. They can feel even what you can’t.” I nodded my head, even though I still didn’t understand. I shivered, and laid against his warm back. I hope we’re going somewhere warm.
Chapter 3
Aw! The sun was coming out, and it felt good. It burned on my back. Custos finally stopped, and I climbed off. “What place is this?” I asked.
“It’s been changed over the years many times, and I’m not sure if anyone knows what it is called today. But it has always been ‘Eubak’ to me.” He smiled.
“Eubak?” I asked.
“It means ‘new life’. This is where I was born.” He looked around. I smiled. It was beautiful here. There were trees that seemed to lean over to shade you and the ocean seemed to whisper every time the tide came up. I was born in a little white room with doctors everywhere. I wish I were born here though. It seemed perfect. I took off my shoes. My socks were still wet and cold and my toes felt funny when they rubbed against each other. I shoved my socks in my shoes. I stood just where the tide came up. It washed up over my toes. I rolled my jeans up, and walked in until it was up to my ankles. It felt good. The sun was hot, and beads of sweat were beginning to run down my face. I cupped my hand into the water and poured it on my head. I let it drip down my face, cooling me off with every drop. I looked over at Custos. He stood far away from the water. I wanted to know why.
“Custos? Why don’t you like the water?” He didn’t answer. I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t have asked. But he finally began.
“It was a long time ago. My parents had to go away like the many others to war. They left my brother and I at home. Kenai, my brother, and I stood on the beach as we always did. We had no idea that the danger was coming here. A large eagle swooped down and carried my brother and me far from shore. Centaurs are not good swimmers. We are built for the land, not the sea. The eagle dropped us, and the water swallowed us up and constricted us. I found my way back to shore, and expected to find my brother already there waiting for me. I couldn’t see him. I waited. Hoping to see him, but I never did. His body washed up on shore the next day. I buried him, and fell asleep only a few yards away. But when I awoke later that night, his grave had been dug up, and I heard satisfied wolves howling happily in the distance as they ate their meal. I couldn’t sleep that night, but I must have dozed off a bit, because the next thing I knew, someone was waking me up to tell me my parents had died.”
After hearing about Kenai, I couldn’t help thinking about Rupie. I had gotten and named him when I was three, almost four. The lady we bought him from said he was very healthy, but everyone lies. Rupie had a tumor, and the doctor could not remove the whole tumor. I remember it was my eighth birthday, and my mom and dad told me this was Rupie’s last day with us. Rupie wasn’t strong enough to jump up on my bed, so he slept on the floor, and I curled up next to him. I watched him closely. He closed his eyes, and I waited. I was scared he had died, so I shook him awake. He licked my hand as if telling me everything was ok, even though it was not ok. He closed his eyes and I shook him awake. But his eyes did not open and he did not lick my hand. He just laid there, not breathing. I stroked him lightly, and tears filled my eyes.
We buried him in the backyard, and my mom handed me a small cardboard box. I opened it slowly, not really caring what was in it. But I was happy to see what was inside. It was a little silver bone with Rupie’s name engraved in it. It was off of his collar. I remember carrying it around in my pocket.
I wonder why I stopped carrying it around. I hadn’t thought about Rupie for a long time until now. I thought of the little silver bone at home in its box. I sat there on the beach and I cried for Rupie and myself and for Custos and Kenai. It was beautiful here, but I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I saw Custos hunched over where I guessed Kenai’s grave was…or where it should have been. I walked over and ran my hand down his shoulder. As soon as I touched him, I saw a vision. It was Kenai lying dead on the beach. I didn’t know how I knew it was Kenai, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was he. It was so sad, and I drew my hand away. Custos was staring down at me.
“What did you see?” He asked. I sat there speechless. There seemed to be a big ball in my throat blocking my air passage. I saw Kenai’s dead body on the beach, and it played again and again in my mind. Custos looked away. He knew what I had seen.
“Find a place to sleep. Make sure it is well protected. There’s no telling what lurks in these woods at such times.”
“Such times?” I asked. He didn’t answer, but I knew he had heard me. I found a small cliff like figure, and climbed up to explore. I found a dry, narrow tunnel that extended about six feet. I crawled inside. Rocks jabbed into my sides from all around, and it was very uncomfortable, but I was safe, and tired. I had just noticed it was fairly dark, and a thin fog was coming over the water. Thoughts zoomed in and out of my head, and one question continued to nag me. What did Custos mean by ‘such times’? And what did it have to do with me? Questions like these drove me into a sleep that showed no promise of true rest, but it was sleep non-the-less. Dreams and visions flooded my head. I was standing on my cliff, as I stood watching over the beach. Creatures with long nails and hunched backs, with teeth sharper than swords invaded the peaceful scenery. They were headed towards me. Custos jumped out, and kicked one. It let out a loud roar, and another scratched Custos across his chest. Custos hit another with his fist, and it fell to the soft sand, but got up again. A larger one bit one of Custos’ legs, and he fell, helpless. He kicked and fought, and I could hear Custos let out a shriek of pain. It was like an animal being killed, and it was. It was ear-piercing, and I covered my ears. The largest one jumped at him, and ripped his throat out.
“Custos!” I screamed, but he was dead. One turned and looked at me, blood dripping from his chin. He climbed up the cliff, then, mouth open wide, he jumped at my throat. Then I woke up, scared. I pulled myself out of my little cave and made my way down my cliff. Sharp rocks dug into my feet, and they bled, leaving a trail behind me. I had left my shoes, but there was no time to waste. It began to rain, making the rocks slippery. I slipped, and a rock gouged into my leg, and I fell forward and hit my head on a rock. I couldn’t stand up straight, but I had to keep going. There was fog, and rain, and I saw double. I walked dizzily, and everything was blurry, and I was confused.
“Custos! Custos!” I felt my feet hit the sand, and the sand went into my wounds. But I didn’t care. Blood was gushing down my face, and the rain couldn’t wash it away fast enough. I started to run, and I ran into something. I fell down in the sand, and laid there. I gave up. The sand around me was stained red with my blood. I couldn’t feel my leg anymore. A strong hand grabbed me, and I didn’t care who it was, but I hoped it was Custos.
“Custos?” I asked. I heard his voice, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He pulled me up onto his back, and I began to slip off. He caught me, and laid me sideways on my belly.
“Run. They’re coming!” I told him. I couldn’t hear his answer, but his tone was confused.
“Run. We’re not safe. They’re going to kill us. They know we’re here.” I instantly felt him go into a gallop. I didn’t know if I should have been frightened or not. But I felt the world fading out as it had done before when I had seen Sydney in the woods. Sydney! Oh my gosh! Where’s Sydney? Is she ok? Is she here too?
“Sydney! Custos where’s Syd…Where’s S… Where’s….” The world was swallowed up into a black hole, and I heard the thunder, and I heard growling in the distance. We had escaped, and I hoped I could say that much for Sydney.
* * * * * *
I opened my eyes, and the first thing I felt was pain. Pain in my head, my feet, and my leg. Custos was staring down at me. I saw his face more clearly than last night. I looked around. There was a little pool that was hot and steamy, at the surface. I wanted to dive in and soak it all up, but my body won’t cooperate. I’m laying in soft grass, and the thin blades cling to me. They tickle everything that moves. There are vines twisting their way up tree trunks, and purple blossoms are spread out among them. I look to my right, at the little pool, and my whole body aches for it. I look at my leg, but I have to look away instantly. There is dry blood caked on my leg, and the sore is deep. I turn my head away, and I see Custos, still staring over me. I realize he is talking to me.
“You hit your head really hard last night, and you saved both of us.” He said.
“How did you do it?”
“I dreamed it. It was like a vision, like I saw the future or something.” I said, questioning it myself.
“Alga was right. You are very powerful. That is a very hard skill to master. I myself have not.” I began to think about last night. Then the same question popped in my head.
“Custos, where’s Sydney?” I asked.
“Who?” He looked confused.
“Sydney?” He still looked at me like I was crazy.
“Custos, did anyone else enter Bethsaidia with me?” I asked. He looked away.
“No.” He said.
“Custos, you aren’t the best liar. Now yes or no?” I didn’t really know if he was lying, but there was something about his answer.
“What?” he asked, stalling. I was getting mad now and I could feel the angry words coming up my throat, but I swallowed them. I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with the only person I knew.
“Custos? I need to know. When I came into the world, was I the only one?” I said, restraining myself. He sat there.
“Was there anyone else?” I paused. “Custos. Tell me!”
“Yes! Yes! Alright!” I didn’t know whether to be happy she was here or not. On one hand, I wasn’t alone, and I knew she was here with me. On the other hand, she’s not exactly with me. Not sitting next to me anyway.
“Is she alright?” He sat there, silent. Anger rushed over me, and this time I didn’t hold back.
“Tell me! That’s my little sister out there! If you don’t help me, I’ll go out myself! I thought you were here to help me! If this is what you meant by “help” I could do that myself! Go away!” I didn’t really mean any of that stuff. I was just so mad he wouldn’t tell me where Sydney was. I didn’t want him to leave. He hung his head, thinking.
“Custos, please tell me.” He wouldn’t speak for a moment.
“She’s in the forbidden land.” He said finally.
“How do we get there? Is she ok?” I asked frantically. Any place called the forbidden land was not exactly where I wanted my sister.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you. We can’t go there. It’s forbidden! Hence the name! Forbidden land. It’s self-explanatory.”
“Show me!”
“No!”
“Show me!”
“No!”
I reached out and touched him, hoping to see another vision. I had done it once; I could do it again, right? I did. My vision led me across Bethsaidia. To the end of the world, literally. The land was flat, and at the edge there was a waterfall of fire. Just at the tip was castle. My vision pulled me inside. There was Sydney. Her eyes black, and her fangs were sharp. Two of the creatures I had seen on the beach were by her. They bowed before Sydney, and I could tell they were afraid of her.
“Find her!” She hissed. After they left, she looked right at me.
“I’m coming.” She said, and laughed. She sent a blast of magic, sending me out of the vision, and tumbling backwards into the sand. I let out a scream of pain, and pulled my leg out from under me.
“Don’t do that! Every time you see her, she can see you! She can find you, and she will!”
“What’s wrong with her!? Why would she want to kill me?”
“Remember when I told you the evil ones wanted to kill the humans?” I nodded. “Your sister is possessed by Veldin. She was, and is their leader. That was the battle that was fought when my parents…” he trailed off. I nodded so he didn’t have to continue. “There was a human. No one remembers his name. But he defeated her. She did not die, however. Her spirit was alive, but she needed a body. A prey. The hero’s brother is one of the six who went to find her spirit, but it was trapped in the human world, and they could not get to it. It has never been disturbed, until now. There is a prophesy that history will repeat itself, but this time, the evil Queen, Veldin, and her prey will both die by the sword of the hero, and her spirit can never be summoned again.”
“But, I’ve been in the woods a billion times… at least I’ve looked in there. How come it just appeared now?”
“It appeared to Sydney because she’s the prey. You are the hero.” He said.
“But…that means. I have to kill the prey?”
“Yes.”
“And Sydney’s the prey?”
“Yes.”
“No! I’m not going to do it! I can’t kill her! No one on Earth or Bethsaidia could ever make me do it.”
“Aw! But you will. Bethsaidia has a way of making you forget. And slowly, you will grasp the concept, and go along with it.”
Do you like my story?
It is time to get your story published! I can%26#039;t believe you are
a teenager writing that good. You have a strong concept of
words and use them nicely. Yes there are a few grammer
mistakes, but they can be cleaned up in no time.
Bravo!
Reply:it was very gooooooooood a 8 because of the sad ending. Report It
Reply:I give this a 10!!! I am 14 and love writing but i am no where near as good as you are it was awesome. you should definitely get this revised and edited and then published. Report It
Reply:damn girl, you got skills xD! Report It
Reply:that was an extremely detailed story you are very very very very good i couldnt stop reading it if you dont get this published you would be a fool your use of words is great 10/10 brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:9.6
Reply:9, veeeery good, but there were a FEW grammar mistakes, and spelling mistakes, but that can be fixed easily
:]
Reply:8.5/10
That is brilliant writing for your age. The only reasons I didn%26#039;t give you 10/10, are very minor. If you wouldn%26#039;t mind, I%26#039;d love to show you my reasons, and share a few pointers so that you can improve still further:
1. In the beginning, it seems as if you%26#039;re trying to fit all of this information into a space where it won%26#039;t fit. It seems a bit jumbled. If, for example, you described your character%26#039;s looks by having her glance in a mirror, or see a reflection in a window, it would fit in better. %26#039;Show, Don%26#039;t Tell%26#039; is the most famous advice for writers.
2. Once your character falls into Bethsaidia, there seems to bit a bit too much danger in it, if you will. It%26#039;s almost like you%26#039;re trying to make it exciting by adding too much risk. If you try and smooth it out, so that it fits together, that would be great
3. Description. Again, %26#039;Show, don%26#039;t Tell%26#039;. For example, when you%26#039;re describing Custos, you mention horse ears, and a horse%26#039;s lower body. If you maybe mentioned your character seeing hooves, and then as she stands, she follows the horse part, until she gets to the %26#039;human%26#039; part, then you could describe his face and such by actions. (i.e %26#039;he looked at her with dark brown eyes...%26#039;)
4. Try and cut down on %26#039;sound words%26#039;. Instead of saying %26#039;Crack!%26#039; when the ice shatters, actually describe the ice shattering.
5. I would also suggest adding a few flaws to your characters. Nobody%26#039;s perfect, and characters with flaws add to the story, more than retract from it. In the novel I%26#039;m writing, I%26#039;m actually having trouble decreasing my characters flaws, instead of adding to their strengths.
I am thoroughly, thoroughly impressed with your writing, I must say. I hope you%26#039;ll use these guidelines to help you along.
Wishing you all the best of lick in your own writing!
~Tiger
Reply:Hey!
For a 12 year old, it%26#039;s excellent! i would give it an 8, because some of your sentences are too short, and sometimes you use words that you dont quite understand in your story. Make your story more fluid, like a river. You dont have to have super short sentences. Also, you dont have to dwell on every little detail such as brushing hair or eating cookies for breakfast, you know? If you want to add detail, add emotional detail, like how you felt when your Grandmother stood up for Sydney, etc. But also dont make her perfect, and like you said, an angel. She can have a few flaws too, she shoud not be perfect. Lol. And maybe dont tell us how perfect she is all the time and that your not as incredible. Give yourself some credit for something. Don%26#039;t make yourself sound boring! The main character should be interesting.
Maybe ask your mom or dad to edit it?
Good Luck!
Reply:WOW!!! I love it!! But try not to start every sentence with I.
GOOD, GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:7. Amazing story. Im 13 and your writing is similar to mine. Im always told the same thing though; lengthen your sentences. I think it would apply to you as well. Also, another thing that aplies to us both; to much detail.
Good story though.
Reply:wow. holy crap that%26#039;s the best story I%26#039;ve EVER read from someone your age.. when i was 12, i had troubles writing a paragraph for school haha. i%26#039;m 14 now, and i%26#039;m somewhat better, but nothing still compared to this! keep writing, this could pay VERY well if you practice, and get someone reliable to edit it!
keep up the good work!
-stephen.
Reply:You are twelve? wOw! Gr8 imagery!! I%26#039;m jealous... by the time your in highschool you%26#039;ll be writing novels.
Reply:pretty good except the grammar but you can sure write a story
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