Is this poem good.. ?

The silver stream...


Slowly,silently,now the moon


Walks the night in her silver shoon;


This way, and that, she peers, and sees,


Silver fruit upon silver trees;


One by one the casements catch


Her beams beneath the silvery thatch;


Couched in his kennel, like a log,


With paws of silver sleeps the dog;


From their shadowy cote the white breasts peep


Of doves in a silver-feathered sleep;


A harvest mouse goes scampering by,


With silver claws, and silver eye;


And moveless fish in the water gleam,


By silver reeds in a silver stream.

Is this poem good.. ?
The silver stream...





L1: Glowing, Slowly %26amp; silently,


L2: A young girl


L3: Walks the night in her silver shoes


L4: All she see's is


L5: Silver fruit upon silver trees;


L6: One by one her silhouette catches


L7: Her eyes shine beneath the silvery light


L8: This way, and that, she peers, and sees,


L9: Couched in his kennel, like a log


L10: With paws of silver sleeps the dog;


L11: From their shadowy cote the white breasts peep


L12: Of doves in a silver-feathered sleep;


L13: A harvest mouse goes scampering


L14: With silver claws and a silver eye


L15: While moveless fish in the water gleam


L16: By silver reeds in a silver stream.





L1: “Glowing, Slowly %26amp; silently,”


Why are you using “%26amp;” instead of “and”? When you write, it helps the flow of the piece when you use words, not symbols.





L4: “All she see's is”, why did you use “see’s”? This is an improper spelling. What do you think about saying “All that she sees is…





L7: “One by one her silhouette catches”


What does her silhouette catch? Your piece does not say? Lingering line, needs more clarification and direction.





L8: Seems to repeat L4.





L11: “From their shadowy cote the white breasts peep”. Why did you use “cote”? Is this a misspelling?


Cote does mean: a shed or coop for small domestic animal, especially pigeons.





Are you attempting to use this line for the following (L12:) line or is this a continuation of the line (L10:) before? Needs clarification in your direction.





In L15: “While moveless fish in the water gleam” the use of “moveless” is improper spelling, move less is the proper way, or you could even use motionless, when referring to dead fish floating in the water.





All in all this is a semi-okay piece for a beginner. I suggest you look at your sentence structure, your flow of meaning and thought, carry us with you, do not leave us.





There are some wonderful books that are available to assist you if you wish to continue on this path.





Keep writing and working if that is your wish,


Sam





PS: Your rating scale for a beginner is (3). This is a copy of the post to this same question, 3 hours later.
Reply:You are very welcome my friend. I hope you share with your friend the suggeston of which I gave. Report It

Reply:This poem was taught to me in school in 1956 by an ex R A F officer who taught in my school in Northern Ireland.Don't know the poet perhaps Aleiisha will let us know where she got it from. Report It

Reply:Nice and soothing.
Reply:quite lovely. very peaceful and soothing
Reply:The first line has no rhyme!
Reply:I'm impressed. I hope you have this poem copyrighted. I'm always wary of people that come on the internet and want homework help and people just put out a poem for them. Please be careful. This is a very good poem--thoughtful, rhythmic, lilting...don't let it get away. Best wishes to you
Reply:I liked it
Reply:The style of the poem is a little archaic, but you handle that pretty well - a lot better than most modern author's I've seen try to write 19th century poetry. It's quite pretty, a nice little poem, though not very deep. In a few places, the rhyme seems forced. Was the sleeping dog really like a log (If you're trying to use the expression, don't. Clichés have no place in poetry. Or any good writing at all, for that matter.)? Or did you just say that to make it rhyme? Also, shoon is archaic. It's one thing to write in an old fashioned style, and it's another to use old fashioned words. You live in the twenty-first century - there is no possible way you could use a word that was outdated by the 19th naturally. It just comes off as pretentious and confusing. Don't force your poetry. The rest of the poem is quite good, apart from those few rough patches. All in all, good job.



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