Look at my poem?

I'm 14.





I wrote this poem the other day:


The Caterpillar





The funny-looking caterpillar


drudges on in the dirt,


making sour faces at the world.





The funny-looking caterpillar


ascends a constantly growing tree,


getting sidetracked and confused


on the way.





The funny-looking caterpillar


sits in the open, becoming


a meal for a greedy bird.





As an adult, a caterpillar


brightens our faces


and makes us happy.





But as a child, a caterpillar


is smashed by shoes


and generally miserable.

Look at my poem?
interesting. do you have any issues youd like to talk about?


ha just kidding. i loved it. i personally find caterpillars quite amusing and i thought it was totally cool.


good luck with future poems.
Reply:This poem sounds like something an 8 year old would write, not a 14 year old. The ideas are juvenile, and your ideas are just all over the place! You really need to take some more time, and really look at a poem before you post it. Also, I would change the age from 14 to 8. Good luck!
Reply:with classes and such you could be famous for writing. or you could learn how to write childrens books. but in all i think this poem is good, its also sad cus of the sudden death of the caterpillar. truthful but yet sad. great job though!
Reply:very touching....=)
Reply:That is actually pretty good. I can write poems, but probably not that good. Mine might be good, but oh well you gte the picture.


Back to the point...


IT IS GOOD!


Good luck on future poems!
Reply:its choppy in places, and run on in others. use some more similes and metaphors, allude to what happens to the caterpillar, not just state it, thats what makes good poetry, imagery and lines that make you think.
Reply:HEAVY- keep the faith!
Reply:COOL! i wish i was as good as u.



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