It is still ruff but I would like to know if it is something you would want me to write more of.
And yes, it still needs work.
Thanks.
______________________________________...
One
My Aunt Bessie drove me to the airport in Denver, Colorado. It was a nice day out; 82 degrees on a fall day. That’s pretty good for Colorado- we would consider that nice. I was wearing my lucky bracelet. It’s chain-linked and it has a heart hanging from it. On the heart says “I love you.”
I was going to go to the one place on Earth that I hated most; Hillcrest, Washington. My dad, Billy, lives there. He is Chief Billy Johnson of the people of Hillcrest; he’s the chief of police and has been ever since I remember. To that little town of Hillcrest, I know send myself. My mother and I used to live in Hillcrest until I was two. There was an accident and she died. I hated Hillcrest so I decided to go move with my Aunt Bessie to Denver. I would have to visit my dad, Billy, every other year.
Aunt Bessie and her husband, Lucas, travel a lot because of Lucas’s work. She stayed with me but I could tell she missed him dearly. They had just gotten married a few years ago and I was afraid the longer I stayed with them, the faster their marriage would go down the drain- not that I think their marriage is going to go down the drain or anything though. It’s just that he’s older then she is by many years.
“Zoey, I’m going to miss you so much!” Aunt Bessie exclaimed while she embraced me in one of her famous hugs.
“I know. I’m going to miss you too. I’ll tell Billy that you said hi.”
Aunt Bessie doesn’t look anything like me. She has chocolate brown hair, caramel colored eyes, and tan skin. She looks like the kind of person who would live somewhere…sunny. How could I leave her alone? I mean, she’s like a mom to me. She’s taken care of me almost my whole life. How could I just leave her here? What’s wrong with me?
“Please dear, be careful. I know how clumsy you are. I mean, I know those soccer muscles of yours help you keep your balance but still. And please, please take care of Billy. His cancer is very bad.”
“Okay I promise to be careful and take care of Billy.”
Why did she have to bring up Billy’s cancer? It’s almost as if she’s trying to rub it in.
I gave my Aunt Bessie one last hug goodbye and went onto the plane. I was going to fly to Seattle and then I would have to take another plane to Lancaster- the little city on the coast- and then drive home with Billy. That is going to be scary.
Billy’s happy that I’m moving with him but he isn’t sure why I’m moving back with him. I know he won’t say anything though because he isn’t like that. Billy keeps to himself a lot. He isn’t that much into people’s business. It will always be weird with him though because from his phone calls I could tell that he is still upset about my mother’s accident.
When I got off the plane in Lancaster, Billy was there waiting for me. So was his friend Jonathan. I’m guessing that Jonathan drove Billy out here to get me. Jonathan is Billy’s golfing buddy.
“Zoey dear, is that you? Wow, you’ve gotten so big! I missed you so much sweetie.” Billy yelled as I went to get my luggage. He gave me a hug when I got up to him. It was a weird hug. I got the sense that he thought it was awkward too.
“Yes it is. I missed you! Aunt Bessie says hi by the way.”
We all got into Jonathan’s truck and started our way to my new home. Billy tried having small talk with me. I could tell this whole ride was going to be awkward.
“I got you signed up for high school at Hillcrest High. You start school tomorrow.”
“Oh thanks Dad.” I wasn’t excited about school. I’m going to be an outcast, a weirdo. I would probably be able to pull it off if I looked like someone who lived somewhere sunny. I should be tan but I’m white. And I mean really white. My skin is almost translucent but it is kind of pretty. I have dirty blonde hair with red in it. And my blue-green eyes stand out against my skin.
“Hey Dad, do you know any places where I could buy a car?”
“Well you don’t have to look anywhere.”
“What do you mean?” What did he mean? Oh my, did he get me a car already? I hope not. Billy doesn’t really have what I would say as a “fashion sense.”
“I already got you a car. It’s a good car for you.”
“Dad, I was going to get my own car.” What did he mean the car was “good for me?”
“I actually got it for you as a welcome home gesture. I got it last week.”
“What does it look like?”
“Don’t worry, it’s a new car; only a few years old really. It’s a blue Toyota.”
“How much do I owe you?”
He paused a minute before answering my question. “You don’t need to worry about that Zoey. It’s a present from me to you. You don’t need to pay me for it.”
Wow. I just got a free Toyota. At least I won’t have to worry about that. I just have to worry about, oh let’s see, the rest of my life. Wow, that won’t be that hard…not.
“Okay, thanks Dad.”
Why did I say thanks? It was sure to be awkward with Billy and all this family stuff. Especially since I haven’t been much of a family member since I was two. I will just have to watch what I say from now on and try not to make it to awkward for the two of us. I don’t want to make it look like I’m some needy seventeen year old. Billy already has enough on his plate as it is, with the cancer and everything. Why did he have to get cancer? I mean I already lost part of me when mom died, if I lose Billy I would have lost everything. Why me, why me?
I shook my head to get those depressing thoughts out. I looked out the window to see what my new home looked like. Wow, I forgot how green and humid it was here. It was almost as if the green was from another planet, an alien planet. It completely covered everything in its path; trees were covered with moss, grass covered in green shrubs, bushes covered in green flowers- holy cow, green flowers? I’ve never seen green flowers in my life! I didn’t even know they existed- weird. It reminded me of a rain forest. It was very beautiful though; a rare beauty.
Finally, I thought as we pulled up to Billy’s house. Jonathan dropped us off and drove away. I looked at the once familiar house. It was a tiny two story house. The paint was peeling off in some places. I would have to fix that. My bedroom faced over the front yard- my room always has in every house I’ve lived in. There was a giant tree in front of my bedroom window. Perfect for sneaking out, but knowing me, I wouldn’t do it anyways. The flowers needed some work too. I feel bad that Billy can’t fix all this stuff up. Stupid cancer.
Parked in the driveway was my new Toyota. I loved it! It was made of that really tough material that would turn another car into a billion pieces if it got into an accident. I actually thought I would have hated it but Billy has yet to surprise me, again.
“I hope you like your truck Zoey.”
“I don’t just like it Dad, I love it!”
I went up to Billy and gave him a big hug, a real hug. He probably hasn’t had one of these in a long time. He had gotten tense at first but then loosened up a little. Then I ran over to my truck and hugged it. It was perfect. At least I wouldn’t have to cry about that tonight.
I got all of my bags and went into the house. It looked the same as it did when I was last here. The family room was to the left. There was an old scruffy couch, a chair, and a TV. The carpet was a navy blue color. There was a huge window above the couch. To the right was the kitchen. The floor was white linoleum. The cabinets were a faded brown. There was a dishwasher, thank goodness. I hated washing dishes like I had to at my Aunt Bessie’s house. There was a kitchen table that was the same color as the cabinets. The chairs matched too. There was a window above the sink with a few flowers sitting on the window seal.
The stairs were right in front of me. I walked up them with my bags and stood in the hallway while I remembered falling down them when I visited here one time. To the right of me was Billy’s room. I haven’t been in there in years. And I will continue not to. In front of me was my own bathroom. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about sharing a bathroom. I don’t think Billy would have wanted to wait an hour and a half while I get ready every morning.
To the left of me was my room. I walked in and sat my few bags on the bed. I had to sort all of my winter clothes from my summer ones when I was packing. I ended up bringing all of my winter clothes- which was not that good. There was no point bringing my summer ones because it is always cold here. I guess I would need to go shopping.
I looked around my room. There was a bed, a dresser, a closet, a night table next to my bed, and a desk with a computer on it. It looks like Billy got rid of all my baby things. Everything in here has been here since I was born, except for the desk. The computer was so I could do my homework and probably keep in touch with Aunt Bessie if she ever wanted to contact me by email.
I looked out my window at the yard in front. The rain drops were lightly hitting my window one by one. I will have to get used to the rain too. I hate the rain. I love the sun and how it feels against my skin. What stinks is that it barely gets any sunshine here.
I’m glad Billy isn’t clingy because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to cry at all. He leaves me alone a lot. I guess he’s so used to being alone that he doesn’t feel comfortable with me being here. I kind of like being alone. I mean I’ve always been alone because Aunt Bessie would travel with Lucas. I like the quite. It would have taken an S.W.A.T. team to keep my Aunt Bessie from leaving me for a minute to get settled. That’s why I’m glad Billy and Aunt Bessie are so different.
Okay, at least the weather here is perfect for my mood- gloomy. I’ve been holding in these tears ever since I got on the plane to Seattle. I should just let them out now. I sat down on bed and started crying. I don’t even remember the last time I cried that much. I think it was when my mom had her accident.
I stopped crying and went downstairs to see what Billy wanted for dinner. I liked to cook; it kept me busy; it distracted me.
“Billy, what would you like for dinner?”
“Zoey, you don’t have to cook for me. I can cook for myself. I have for the past fifteen years.”
“I know Dad. I like to cook though.”
“Well I still don’t feel comfortable with you cooking.”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s just that I don’t want you to burn down the house or anything while I’m working.”
“You really think that I would burn down the house?” Wow, he could at least have some confidence in me. I mean, I’m not that clumsy.
“No, but I just want you to be careful. I don’t know how you cook. If you cook like your Aunt Bessie then you are not going to be cooking in my house.”
His house? It’s my house too.
Aunt Bessie can cook…well, anything that isn’t edible. I’ve been cooking for myself since I was seven anyways.
“I’ve been cooking for as long as I can remember. Trust me, my food is edible.” This is weird. I would have thought that I would have been shy around Billy. Well, at least not that bad.
I’ve always been shy around people. I mean besides soccer but that’s it. Speaking of soccer…
“Ugh Dad, does Hillcrest High have a soccer team? I still want to be able to play soccer even though it’s freezing cold here.”
“I think so. I’m not really sure though. You will have to ask the lady in the office tomorrow. Sorry. Why would you want to play soccer in this weather anyways?”
“Dad, I love soccer okay. It’s my passion. I know I am clumsy, but my soccer muscles do help me stay up, most of the time anyways.”
“Oh okay Zo. Well anyways, what’s for dinner?”
“What do you have?”
“Well, not a lot. I’m always at work so I never have time to go get food anyways.”
“Well I’ll just make some spaghetti and I’ll go shopping after school tomorrow.”
“Okay then. I’ll just go watch the basketball game.”
Billy is obsessed with basketball games. I don’t know why though. There is nothing interesting about it anyways. All you do is shoot and pass. Kind of stupid to me. Soccer is way better then that.
I got dinner ready fast and we ate in silence. It was awkward. I would have rather eaten by myself.
After dinner, I wrote a list of all the groceries I was going to get. Billy must go out a lot if he barely had any food in the house. That’s kind of sad. Well, no. What’s sad is the fact that a 45 year old man with cancer lives by himself and is a police chief. I couldn’t imagine going through that.
I shook the head to get the thought out. I put down the list I made and went to my closet to look for something to wear in the morning. I pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a short sleeve Hollister shirt. Then I found my old fans- the ones I’ve had for two years- and a black sweatshirt that had the number one on the back. I laid them out on my bed and stared at them with shame. Why did I come here? It was a stupid idea to come here. Well, no it wasn’t- not for everyone else at least. I only moved here to make everyone happy. It worked, but I’m not happy. Oh well, it’s done. I’m already here aren’t I?
I quickly put on my old sweat pants and a baggy shirt and laid down in my bed. I laid there thinking of how difficult school was going to be the next day. I mean, I would have to introduce myself to everyone, walk around with a map in front of my nose, and…ugh…I just don’t know. Then I shut my eyes and let the darkness take me in.
I woke up with a slow start. It was 6:35 and school started at 8:00. I got up too fast because I practically fell once I stood up. I ran to my dresser and pulled out the clothes I had picked out last night. I finished getting ready and almost ran into Billy on my way down the stairs.
“Oh Dad!”
“Zoey, gosh. You scared the crap out of me! Don’t do that again!”
“Sorry it was on accident.”
“Are you ready for school?”
“Yes I’m leaving now. Bye Dad. Have fun at work. Is fun the right word anyways?”
“Fun will do. Bye.”
What was wrong with him? Something was definitely up. He sounded scruffy and sad. Something is wrong. I hope that it isn’t his cancer. I know that he has his bad days but still…
I walked outside to my new Toyota and tried not to fall on the icy cement. I got into the comfy truck and immediately felt safe; almost like I was home again, like this was where I belonged. I didn’t feel like this when I was in the house. What is wrong with me? Why am I doing this? I hope Aunt Bessie is okay.
I started the engine to stop myself from crying. I missed Aunt Bessie dearly. I backed out of the driveway and drove back onto the high way. Everything was off the high way; it was so spread out here, almost like everyone was isolated in this little bubble of space.
Hillcrest High was a small school. It didn’t look like a school though; just a bunch of little buildings with the same matching roofs and a fence around it. What’s with the fence? What do they want to keep everyone here like a jail?
I quickly stepped out into the light drizzle after finding a parking spot in the crowded parking lot. I ran into the tiny office. There was one desk behind a counter that split the room in half. The lady at the desk had curly red hair. There was a plant on the counter along with many papers that seemed to look like flyers for dances and rallies.
The lady looked up from the computer screen she had just been staring at. “Hey there sweat heart! Can I get ya’ll something?”
I tried so hard to not start laughing at her voice. I laughed at everything, it was so embarrassing.
“Uh, actually I’m Zoey Johnson and I’m new here.” That probably told her everything she needed to know by the look of sympathy in her green eyes.
“Oh dear, everyone has been waitin’ for you to come! Here, let me get your schedule.”
She shuffled through a stack of papers and practically ran up to me with them.
“This is your class schedule and here is a map of the school. I hope you have fun on your first day!”
I grabbed the schedule and map and power walked out of there. I couldn’t hold in the laughter much longer. Once I stepped out the door I began laughing so hard I almost cried. Some of the students looked at me probably thinking I was crazy.
After the scene I had just created, I quickly walked over to my first class which was English. I walked in quietly, hoping that no one would see my late entrance. I closed the door seeing that the class had already started. I glanced up and I immediately felt like a fish in a fish bowl. They were staring at me, almost as if they were looking beyond me at something else; like I wasn’t even there.
“Why Miss Johnson, you’re late,” Announced the very large man with dark brown hair.
“Sorry I was getting my schedule and such. I didn’t know. I’m sorry Mr.…”
“Mr. Smith. Oh, it’s okay. Just take a seat anywhere you like.”
Mr. Smith’s dark eyes penetrated into me. It was a weird sensation. It wasn’t anything sexual or anything near that. I had felt a stab of fear at the sight of his eyes. It was weird and unnatural; inhuman. Wow, what am I thinking? Am I crazy? Gosh, this isolated town is starting to get to me.
I quietly walked over to the empty seat in the back of the class so that no one would stare at me. I slouched into my seat and kept my hair down so that I couldn’t see anyone gawking at me.
After sitting there in the most uncomfortable position ever for an hour, a nasal buzzing sound filled the air. Everyone started getting there things together. I’m guessing it was time to go.
I got up and walked to the door as fast as I could. I was almost out the door when a dark figure stepped out in front of me. I ran right into it too.
“Wow there gorgeous. Where are you going?” The boy said.
“To my next class.” I stammered.
“Oh come on Jake, leave the new girl alone.” A raspy voice had said behind me.
I turned to see a tall boy with dark curly hair- Superman style- and dark blue eyes. His eyes made his olive skin tone and perfect features stand out in the most perfect ways. His scent was heavenly and it radiated off his skin in waves, the next one as strong as the first. It didn’t smell like any cologne I’ve smelt before that all the guys’ layer on themselves. His black short sleeve shirt fit his muscles in a perfect way. His dark jeans and black shoes seemed to fit him quite well.
“Dude, you should really relax. I didn’t do anything to her.”
“Jake, just back the hell up okay. Clearly she is confused.”
“Fine dude. See you at lunch.”
The guy who’s name is Jake turned around and walked in the opposite direction of the classroom.
“Sorry about that, Jake is such a pervert. He doesn’t know anything.”
“Oh it’s okay.” I stammered. Man, was he perfect…
“Sorry, it is so rude of me to not introduce myself. I am Steven Deveraux. And you must be Zoey Johnson.”
“Hi there Steven. Yes, I’m Zoey. How does everyone know me around here?”
“This is a small town. Word gets around very quickly. You will surely learn that.”
“Oh well okay then.” I blushed knowing how stupid I must sound right now.
“What class do you have next?”
“Spanish with Ms. Latina I think. I don’t know where her class is though.”
“I would be glad to show you to it. Besides, I have that class next too.”
Steven and I walked out of the classroom after what seemed like minutes. We walked down the long corridor to room 14. It was so hard not to notice that rain drops hitting the uncovered cement. It smelled so natural out here; so fresh.
Steven and I walked into Ms. Latina’s class and he went and took a seat in the back row. Ms. Latina introduced me to the class and of course I turned blood red. She assigned me a seat next to Steven and I tripped over my own shoes on the way to my seat. Two girls, both platinum blondes, giggled in high pitched tones. I stared at them with the fiercest eyes I could. They immediately shut up.
I took my seat and a note was flung onto my desk. I opened it with shaking hands.
So, tired of this boring town yet??
I looked over, almost immediately knowing it was from Steven. He even wrote in a nice font. I steadied my hand to make my writing look neat like his.
Not really. I just got here. How can I be tired of it?
I tossed back the note and it landed on the floor. He bent over to get it when I saw what looked like a tattoo on the back of his neck. I wonder what it looks like.
Well, you certainly don’t look like your not enjoying it here. I bet you are only doing this because you think it will make everybody happy. Look I know that everyone has been gawking at you today but it is only because everyone thinks your really hot- as in the guys think that- or that your going to be a ho- as in the girls think that. Don’t listen to the girls though; they are all stupid sluts anyways. Watch out for Clara. She is the leader of the whole prep group. She sleeps with every guy, even the ones who are taken. If she bothers you, tell me.
I’m glad he’s being really nice to me. He is the first person who actually has the guts to talk to me. This Clara girl sounds like a real *****. I wonder what turned her into this monster, well that is if she hasn’t always been like this.
How do you know all of this? What, do you read people’s minds or something? And about the whole Clara thing, have you ever slept with her?
He took a minute to write back. I took this minute to my advantage and tried listening to what the teacher was saying. She was talking in Spanish so I couldn’t understand her. I really need to switch out of this class. I didn’t even pick my classes anyway. The only reason I want to stay in this class is because of Steven. Suddenly, that familiar nasal buzzing sound filled my ears and everyone was in a rush to get out of there. I would have to ask Steven about Clara later. I walked quickly out of the room, not even glancing back at Steven. I walked toward my History class in room 5.
Mr. Martin sent me to an empty seat next to a girl with platinum blonde hair with no introductions. I sat down and stared straight ahead so that it looked like I was paying attention.
“Hey, aren’t you that new girl?”
“Yes I am.” I replied back to the platinum blonde.
“I’m Clara. This school is so boring. It’s only fun because I go here.”
Oh. My. Gosh. Did she seriously just say that?
“Yeah, you heard me right. It’s cool because I’m cool. If you try and mess with me, I will ruin your reputation okay.” Clara said again.
“Look Clara, I just got here and it is my first day. I haven’t done **** to you so if you have a problem, don’t take it out on me. I’m not going to get in your way so leave me alone.” Wow, I never knew I had the guts to say that to her.
“Well okay then, we seem to be on the same page. Oh, and by the way, leave Steven alone. He’s mine.”
She turned back towards the front of the room to make it look like she wasn’t talking. I glanced away form her in discuss. Why was she so mean? I swear it was like someone had taken a stick and shoved it up her tiny ***.
The class was over before I knew it and I still had one more class until lunch. That class also happened to be the one class I liked, science. I walked into my science class and introduced myself to Ms. Parker. She had long dark hair that flowed gently to the middle of her back. She was wearing a nice suit and a pair of fancy heels. She was so beautiful. She assigned me to a lab table in the middle of the room next to a pixie looking girl. I didn’t actually see her features until I got closer but she was beautiful. She looked like a girl that everyone would love. She had short choppy brown hair and ocean blue eyes. Her skin was a translucent color.
“Hey there, you must be Zoey. I’m Rebecca, but you can call me Baca.”
“Hi there.” I said sheepishly.
Science went by in a blur because the next thing I knew, everyone was leaving the room. I grabbed my things and walked towards the lunch room. It was packed when I first walked in. That girl Becca came to me in a graceful walk.
“Zo, why don’t you come sit with me and my friends? Don’t worry; I will talk a lot so that it doesn’t make things awkward. I was the new kid before so I know what it’s like.”
We walked over to the table with her many friends. She introduced me to everyone one at a time. We sat down and started chatting away. I wasn’t even acting shy. Why was that? I glanced up to the other side of the room where a group of guys sat there. Among them was Steven. He looked past his friend and into my eyes. He glanced away before I could. In that moment that our eyes met, I knew there was something different about him.
“Zoey, Steven is totally checking you out!” Baca exclaimed quietly.
“No he’s not.” I quickly glanced up to him and there he was in his Superman glory staring at me.
I stood up mechanically and walked over to his table. It got dead silent once I got there.
“Hey Steven. What’s up?”
“Nothing really…How are you doing?”
“Saying hi to you. Are you doing anything later?”
“Yeah, I’m busy later. Sorry.” I could see the sacrifice in his eyes. It clearly meant he wanted to be with me.
“Okay then I guess I will just see you later then.” I gave him a smile I thought could win over anyone’s heart.
I turned away and could barely hear his friends telling him he should have went out with me. I smiled knowing that he wanted to. I can’t believe I just thought that and did all of that. Am I turning into that girl Clara? Ew, I am so stupid.
“Zoey did you seriously do what I think you did?” Becca asked curiously.
“Yes I did. He had ‘plans’ though.”
“Wow, I am going to have to hang with you more often.”
“Well first things first, let’s go to class.”
I looked around the empty lunch room. It was deserted. I ran to my Math class and then an hour later went to my P.E. class. Math class was pretty boring. I had already learned everything back in Denver. P.E. was okay. I was really tired so it wasn’t that fun.
I walked out of the girls locker room and started walking to my car under the over hang. I pulled up my hood as I walked out into the heavy rainfall.
“Z, wait.” I knew who it was once that magical voice spoke. “About tonight, I don’t actually have any plans. Would you like to go hang somewhere or something?”
“Steven, I thought you said you were ‘busy’.”
“I’m actually not. But I still want to know if you want to hang out. Would you like to?”
“Sure. I would love to. Where are we going to go?”
“I don’t know.”
“How about your house?”
“No! I mean, sorry we can’t go to my house. We can always go to your house though. That is if it’s okay with Billy and everything.”
“Oh, I totally forgot about Billy. Why don’t we hang out tomorrow. Billy wasn’t feeling to well today. Plus I have to go to the store. You can always call me later or something if you want. I’m sorry Steven. Rain check?”
“Okay. Rain check.”
I took out a notebook and wrote down my cell phone number. I gave it to Steven and walked over to my truck. I got into my toasty truck and immediately laughed. I can’t believe I’m not being shy. This is a start.
I started the truck and backed out of the stall a little too fast. I almost hit a tiny car. Luckily, I slammed on my brakes to prevent an accident. The other car honked and kept going. I backed out again, slowly, and drove to the grocery store. I got everything I needed and drove back home. I parked my truck in the drive way and ran into the unlocked house. Wait, unlocked? I walked into the dark kitchen and put the bags on the table. I walked over and turned on the light. Laying there on the floor in front of the stairs was Billy. I ran over to him, falling on my way over there.
“Billy! Billy wake up!” I screamed as I took his head in my hands. “Billy wake up! Come on, please wake up!” I sobbed as I dragged myself over to the phone.
“911 please help me! My name is Zoey Johnson and I am Chief Johnson’s daughter. I just walked into the house and found him unconscious. Please help me! He won’t wake up! Please hurry!”
I hung up the phone and crawled back over to Billy. I would give him CPR but I couldn’t remember how to at the moment. My mind completely went blank. All I could think of was what if he was dead?
I checked to see if he had a pulse but I couldn’t feel one. I looked on his neck and saw two small puncture marks. There was blood dripping down from them. What the heck are those? I laid down next to him and started to cry even more. Then I saw a reflection of red and blue lights in the microwave. The cops and medics came in and told me to step aside. I did as they said and the quickly stared working on him. After what seemed like hours, they put a blanket over him. They kept calling him a body. I knew that he was dead.
The cops and meds got up and took Billy away. They left me all alone in the empty house that was now mine. I grabbed the phone and dialed in Aunt Bessie’s number. She answered the phone and I couldn’t even tell her what I had just witnessed.
“Z, tell me what happened? Is everything okay? Are you or Billy hurt? , talk to me!”
“Billy, he’s…he’s…dead.” I finally got out between my sobs.
“Oh. My. Gosh. I am coming to get you right now.”
“No…stay there Ant Bessie. I am fine. Don’t come and get me.”
I hug up the phone before she could object. Billy was dead. What am I to do? Just go on and live out my life here like nothing happened? Or move somewhere far away and pretend that none of this happened?
I stood up slowly and grabbed onto the stairs to keep my balance. I fell back down again immediately. I crawled up the stairs one by one and into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked so empty, so dead. I walked over to the shower and turned it on. I got in it and sat under the hot water with all of my clothes on. I have been dreading this day my whole life. I started sobbing even more. I cried more this time then I did when my mom past away. I felt so empty, like my soul died when I saw Billy lying there on the floor. This changes everything.
Is this okay for the first chapter of my book?
honey if you want to write it then put your whole heart into the words and it'll be good but if you want to know what others think before you even finish then you aren't motivated enough to pour your soul out and will never reach your full potential....I think this start is not bad, work on your personal style maybe, but it;s good. Just remember to throw your heart on the page while slapping down the words.
Reply:it was good but a bit like twilight girl moves in with her father to a small wet town evey1 thinks shes beautiful she falls for a vampire and you didnt really fit claras threat in there very well like she just all of a sudden threatens her for no reason i mean even mean girls let something happen even if its little before threatening them it was good but its like i already read it from the first paragraph all i could think about was reading my copy of twilight again sorry but i would read more if you put it out there
Reply:You story sounds good! :) 5 stars! :)
Reply:i really like it could turn out to be really great!!
tanning
Monday, August 3, 2009
Funny Sayings Hilarious!!?
In Order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.
Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you--Chinese Proverb
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
You can't have everything, where would you put it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.
Strangers have the best candy.
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. -Jack Handy
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count %26amp; those who can't.
My husband and I divorced over religious reasons. He thought he was G-d and I didn't!
Earth is the insane Asylum for the universe.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I almost had a psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met!
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back!
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either.
When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.
Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.
Never drink water - if it can rust iron, imagine what it can do to your stomach.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train!
I'm not littering... I'm donating to the earth.
If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
If you dont like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done.
DEAR IRS, Please cancel my subscription.
G-d, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.
Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!
Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If you blow in a dog's face-he'll get mad at you, but take him for a ride in the car - the first thing he does is stick his head out of the window!
Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable'!
The only ones who aren't grateful on Thanksgiving are turkeys.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.
money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes misery much easier to live with.
Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.
ALWAYS LATE but worth the wait.
I'd have a photographic memory but it was never developed.
I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.
If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?
The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less.
He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers--Joseph Blosephina
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn´t explain away afterwards.
It´s funny- the ppl. who want quiet are always the loudest getting everyone else to shut up.
Imagine how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Whoever said money can´t buy happiness doesn´t know where to shop.
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.*
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.*
If it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight.*
Anyone who wants the presidency enough that he will spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.*
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.*
Funny Sayings Hilarious!!?
here here i got a couple:
Don't hate me cuz you want to be me, hate me cuz you can't!
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they are when you kill them.
Save the tree's, eat a beaver
2% Brain, 75% ditching school, 21%Sleeping in school, 2% Brain...
I DO NOT HAVE AN ANGER ISSUE!!!!!!!!!
Reply:Haha! Awesome.
Reply:LOL
Reply:Thanks! Those are funny.
Reply:that was clever!
Reply:lol =D
Reply:cool
Reply:Very cute! My favorite one is "If it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight.* ... :) keep up the good work!
Reply:.....very funny.....cute
excellent...awesome..........good job......keep up the good jokes
Reply:haha lol strangers have the best candy
im using that as my myspace headline lol
Reply:hahahahaha...love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:a lot!
but really good
Reply:too long to read it all... XD
Reply:ahahahhaahhaha, good sayings, thank you, you just made my day!!!!
Reply:nice
poems
Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you--Chinese Proverb
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
You can't have everything, where would you put it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.
Strangers have the best candy.
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. -Jack Handy
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count %26amp; those who can't.
My husband and I divorced over religious reasons. He thought he was G-d and I didn't!
Earth is the insane Asylum for the universe.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I almost had a psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met!
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back!
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either.
When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.
Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.
Never drink water - if it can rust iron, imagine what it can do to your stomach.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train!
I'm not littering... I'm donating to the earth.
If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
If you dont like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done.
DEAR IRS, Please cancel my subscription.
G-d, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.
Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!
Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If you blow in a dog's face-he'll get mad at you, but take him for a ride in the car - the first thing he does is stick his head out of the window!
Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable'!
The only ones who aren't grateful on Thanksgiving are turkeys.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.
money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes misery much easier to live with.
Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.
ALWAYS LATE but worth the wait.
I'd have a photographic memory but it was never developed.
I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.
If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?
The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less.
He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers--Joseph Blosephina
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn´t explain away afterwards.
It´s funny- the ppl. who want quiet are always the loudest getting everyone else to shut up.
Imagine how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Whoever said money can´t buy happiness doesn´t know where to shop.
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.*
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.*
If it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight.*
Anyone who wants the presidency enough that he will spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.*
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.*
Funny Sayings Hilarious!!?
here here i got a couple:
Don't hate me cuz you want to be me, hate me cuz you can't!
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they are when you kill them.
Save the tree's, eat a beaver
2% Brain, 75% ditching school, 21%Sleeping in school, 2% Brain...
I DO NOT HAVE AN ANGER ISSUE!!!!!!!!!
Reply:Haha! Awesome.
Reply:LOL
Reply:Thanks! Those are funny.
Reply:that was clever!
Reply:lol =D
Reply:cool
Reply:Very cute! My favorite one is "If it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight.* ... :) keep up the good work!
Reply:.....very funny.....cute
excellent...awesome..........good job......keep up the good jokes
Reply:haha lol strangers have the best candy
im using that as my myspace headline lol
Reply:hahahahaha...love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:a lot!
but really good
Reply:too long to read it all... XD
Reply:ahahahhaahhaha, good sayings, thank you, you just made my day!!!!
Reply:nice
poems
Christmas help for family in tulsa?
I am seeking someone to help my sister and her 2 girls for christmas. She was going to go to the angel tree but our mother had a stroke and she didn't make it. My sister is 28 and is not able to work she had gotten hip c from a blood transfusion yrs ago and goes through treatments that makes her very ill at times. 2 years ago she lost her baby girl when she was 2 months and 8 days old. Her family has been through a lot of bad times including loss. Her girls deserve to have a christmas this year. She don't even have a tree. Her girls are 7 and 5 the oldest one wears a 10/12 and loves all girl things and the other one is wears 6/7 and also loves anything. They have coats but are in desperate need for shoes underwear and socks they also only have very few toys at all. I was only able to get them one thing this year. I'm not sure their shoe size this exact moment but I will get it asap. Please if anyone could help even a little bit email plz her dljones2008@yahoo or mine dracoswife04@yaho
Christmas help for family in tulsa?
Try going to Christ United Methodist Church at 35th %26amp; Harvard. They do alot of community outreach. The people there are very nice.
Reply:my sympathies. I hope they haven't lost power either. I'm broke as well.
small business
Christmas help for family in tulsa?
Try going to Christ United Methodist Church at 35th %26amp; Harvard. They do alot of community outreach. The people there are very nice.
Reply:my sympathies. I hope they haven't lost power either. I'm broke as well.
small business
"Religion is to knowledge as lead shoes are to swimming" do you agree with this statement?
I for one fully agree. Nothing, but nothing has held humanity back from it's full potential as religion.
Look at the scientists that the church (predominantly christian but all religions are equally guilty) has either jailed, denounced or excommunicated. Men like Gallileo, Tycho Brahe, Magellan... the list goes on.
After all, one of the first lessons taught in the bible is the one about Adam, Eve and the tree of KNOWLEDGE. They could eat from any tree but that one. What's that tell you? That knowledge is bad in any form and that blind faith is all a person needs.
Personally I hope for the day when religion is nothing more than an embarrasing footnote in the history of mankind.
When people finally reject mythology, they move ahead at tremendous speed. Those that are mired in the mess that is religion however, either move slower than continental drift, or simply go backwards.
"Religion is to knowledge as lead shoes are to swimming" do you agree with this statement?
You are right on. The inquisition comes to mind when I read your question. Julia is deluding herself, which is why she did not give any examples.
Reply:Be reasonable. Ever heard of… Isaac Newton? Robert Grosseteste? Sir Robert Boyd? Carolus Linnaeus? Blaise Pascal? Johannes Kepler? Roger Bacon? Charles Babbage? Pope John XXI? Nicolas Oresme? John Napier? Isaac Barrow? Robert Boyle? Gregor Mendel? Arthur Compton? The old CC was bad. Not religion. Report It
Reply:Charles Manson would agree with you.
Reply:WOW!!! That is a powerful statement. I love science, always have.
I have been a Christian all my fifty plus years and I never thought of religion quite that way.
In view of the recent arguing over stem cell research I may have to consider that as a possibility.
The scientists you mentioned, Gallileo, Tycho Brahe, Magellan... were from ages past and I do not know of any jailed recently for daring to disagree with the church. Mind you now they were jailed or persecuted when the church was in control of government. That part of religious interference is no longer a problem because we have a separation of church and state. At least in the U.S. Not so in some where Muslim leaders rule through the religious heirarchy. And Communism although it is anti-religious is a religion onto itself, without morals.
I can see your point of view as having some substance.
But there needs to be some balance between science and morals. Whether the morals come from religion or not is another matter. But I firmly believe that without religion there would be no morals.
I wouldn't want a condition where religion has total control of science either. If that were the case we would likely still not have a vaccine for smallpox because it would have been considered tampering with Gods' will.
I recently watched a DVD that covered the life of a scientist who I have loved dearly since childhood, Benjamin Franklin. At the time he lived, the leaders of the church taught that lightning was the work of God's will. If it struck your house and started a fire the people would think it the will of God and not try to save the house. They would throw water on the other buildings and let the house burn. Well, our much beloved scientist Ben Franklin was working on his theory of electricity and he proved that it was not the work of God by placing lightning rods on the buildings. His point was that if it were the work of God than the lightning rods wouldn't make any difference. God could avoid them if He intended that building to burn. So, THERE IS a definite instance where religion obstructed science.
But please consider for a moment the catastrophic results of science without the moral guidance of religion. Look at the horror of the most recent thing that comes to mind at the moment.
The atomic bomb.
It was used twice on Japan as a means to end the war without the need for a ground assault that would have taken hundreds of thousands of lives. Without some moral restraint in the use of that bomb it is possible there would have been ten of them dropped on Japan. There were some in the defense department so filled with hatred and resolve they would have bombed Japan into oblivion with every A-bomb they could build. The entire island would have been uninhabitable.
Consider also the "science" used by the Nazis. That is a perfect example of science without religion. Religion had been virtually abolished in Nazi Germany.
(Mind you now I don't blame all German people for this it was a "political" party. The U.S. has had its own hate groups, they just didn't manage to rise to power.)
The Nazi scientists used humans as guinea pigs to learn how long people could survive outside in freezing temperatures. They used them for medical experiments. Had medical students operate on them to learn techniques. If the patient died it didn't matter they were just test subjects. There were some experiments with bacteria to develop vaccines for the soldiers. There were more but that should be sufficient to make my point.
Science gave nations the ability to create nerve agents and the UN with some conscience, made it a war crime to use it. Where did that better judgment come from? The moral teachings of religion I would think.
The nature of rogue countries is to develop a weapon so terrible that no other country would dare challenge them. Look what is happening in North Korea. That country is a loose cannon that could start World War III.
Do you now see the other side of that coin we call science?
In the past and perhaps yet today, there was interference from religion as regards science but please consider the monster that could develop now with the increased knowledge and capabilities that didn't exist in the 1940's. As recent as 1995 Saddam Hussein used a nerve agent on several thousand people just because he didn't like them!
There must be something exerting a conscience on the scientists of the world or there could be chaos.
Scientists are not always honest. Look at the recent news of one who falsified his research. We can't place total trust in people like that to do what is right.
And look at all the drugs being created in the last ten years. Some have horrible side effects that cripple and even kill people but the drug companies and the scientists try to cover that up. Every so often the news of such will leak out and once again we are reminded that science is not to be allowed a free hand in all it does.
Consider that for awhile please.
We need science to continue developing new things for us. Better anitbiotics, alternate fuels, fabrics that last longer and better nutrition from the foods we already have. Better ways to grow food from land that hasn't been productive.
As Mr. Myiagi said in the movie "Karate Kid",
"Must first have balance."
Reply:I see what you are trying to say, but life without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Reply:I TOTALLY AGREE!!! I have been telling my friends the same thing for years. Have you by chance read "Angels and Demons" By Dan Brown? That is an awesome book and it has to do with what you are asking here. (Sorry, I don't know how to underline the title...)
If you haven't read it, you should.
Reply:Modern Christianity is definitely not thristy for knowledge. It thrives off of fear and the belief that everything secular is of the devil.
I agree with Julia that some early Catholic Monks made huge developments in scientific knowledge, but it was also this church that threw people in prison for heresy when they claimed the earth was not flat.
Modern Christianity's leaders inbed fear of knowledge and push total acceptance of their message as "the Word of God". Someday I hope people wake up and start thinking for themselves. I won't hold my breath, though...
Reply:Did you ever think that without religion and without the fear of hell that the world would be unbearable? People would do whatever they wanted - steal, murder, lie, rape, etc. Unless they got caught by the law, they would go unpunished. Most people develop their values and ethics based upon their religious beliefs.
And aren't you going to feel pretty silly when I'm enjoying the glorious eternal life in God's heavenly kingdom and your burning in hell.
Reply:Julia, you should do some reading outside of church propaganda. Ever heard of Galelio? How about Johan Kepler? Copernicus?
All of these people were prosecuted by the church for simply seeking the truth.
I do agree with this statement.
Reply:I only read your title, not the rest of your question and I agree that is a fair statement.
Reply:no religion increase knowledge
Reply:While I agree, I don't think it's as simple as that. I am no religious zealot, but I believe that religion probably played an integral part in our advancement. If we were to just push ahead for the sake of knowledge, regardless of the cost, with no real moral framework to judge ourselves by, this planet would likely be dust.
Conversely, I think that in today's world, religion is merely an outdated form of politics.
Reply:Yes
Reply:Are you joking? The Catholic Church was the patron of learning, of science, and of academia for centuries, especially during the Renaissance.
Without the Church, and without the Christianity-driven desire to know ourselves and our world better, we wouldn't have the knowledge that we have today.
Reply:Everything you've said is exactly backwards, oh ye of little understanding. I could prove it to you but your mind is too small to understand. As far as your lead statement, it is only true to those who refuse God. Without a doubt they will sink.
Reply:I'd say it's more like a life jacket. Those who don't know how to swim need it, but for those who do, it's only a hinderance.
Reply:Yeah, I agree.
Reply:I agree 100%.
Reply:One could certainly state that knowledge took a giant step backwards with the fall of Rome and the upswing of the church, and the resulting suppression of advanced information.
Certainly sexual matters are still in the dark ages because of it.
And persecution of their own. Joan of Arc said she heard the voice of God and was burned for it.
Later on, when the church admitted an "error", she was still not considered a martyr, as the church cannot martyr one of its own.
As to Adam and Eve, why are all sins forgiven and all sinners forgiven, but not those two?
I don't know if I agree with that statement but perhaps an alternative.
If you are drowning thirty feet from shore, religion is a rope twenty feet long.
What do you think?
Reply:Religion, you say. Can you not separate organized religion and what MEN do in the name of God- from God Himself? Then you are not as smart as you think you are. The wrongs that one human does to another is not from God. The Adam and Eve story tells me that God, our creator of infinite wisdom- (that means more wisdom than you or I can fathom)- expects obedience. But He also gave us freewill- the ability to think for ourselves, which Adam %26amp; Eve showed they wanted to do. They already had paradise, but there was evil they were warned about, like when a parent tells you not to play on the highway- for your own good. It's not the kind of knowledge you are talking about- yes we should think for ourselves, and learn all you can in life-but it does all come back to faith. You have the wrong idea, my friend. To be as smart as you think you are, you are completely missing the boat.
Reply:Heh,
Yeah, maybe. It does not directly help science by any means.
But it does allow for a stable society in most cases, and science needs that to operate. Yeah, geniuses are some times held back by the priest class, but they would have never gotten started otherwise.
Hard call. Really. So if humans did not have religion, what do we have, rule of the jungle? Think about it. If the human race was without constraining moral rules, which is after all what religion is about, what would the place look like?
Yeah, I know, we have civil law, and it is based on what?
(shrug)
Complex question dude.
-Dio
Reply:I don't agree. It might have been when people weren't exposed to science and opposing thought but today people are more sophisticated and thoughtfully choose their religious beliefs.
Reply:no
Reply:I disagree with you and the julia pattern answers,
Take for example the druids, they believed their God was the moon and the sun, but they eventually in trying to understand their God via stonehenge realized . . a calendar of orbit of moon around earth (and i guess sun around earth but we dont know that really do we)
Essentially the druids religion made their religion . . . obsolete . . . and was able to give them a calendar.
So there is obviously the cult mythology type religion, pray to jesus and your soul becomes righteous and i don't know why anyone wouldnt love and serve god oh no they must be empty, which is sick and abuseive,
and the real religion, which attempts to understand nature, and indeed, in doing that, find an absense of God, but the scientific underworkings of the Universe.
Maybe Druids were secular humanists that just had drunken orgy rituals,
Reply:Faith-based religions, such as Christianity, are antagonistic to
knowledge. The fly in the ointment is faith. Religion isn't the problem.
So your statement is false. You should have said "faith" or some faith-based religion.
What is "knowledge" has to be demonstrable. A religion not based on faith is not antagonistic to knowledge. It can be full of
crap, but in that case it can learn why it is full of crap. A faith-based religion can't, etc.
Reply:Generally yes.
The priesthood has kept knowledge to themselves and suppressed investigation several times.
My favorite is the "your fields must have a sabbath because God said so" bit in the Bible. No mention that leaving a field fallow every now and then was good agricultural practice... just the "God said so" thing.
Reply:I disagree. Religion fills you full of knowledge that's why we go to church every Sunday and have a Preacher that teaches us the word. It's a continual learning process.
People say that the stories in the bible are a myth because men wrote the bible. However, believe in science. Now, wasn't science and scientific methods created by man? Most science is learned the same way as religion through lectures/preaching and books. So, you have a bible which is made by man and a science book which is made by man. So, how can science prove anything if its made by man, if the bible can't under that very premise? Doesn't that make people who believe in science just as "stupid" as they say Christians are for believing in a man made stories? Just because someone wrote that the rings on a tree mean this and don't mean it does. So, we can argue that you believe in a man made book of fictional stories as well. Just because they say they found evidence and tried to prove it with a man made method don't mean it's real. Science don't have all the answers hence the Big Bang "theory". Theory impies its not certain. I'm not trying to down science or trying to say that I don't believe some of the things it has found (I'm just trying to make a point). I do know there is no theories about God everything in the bible either is or isn't. I've never read in the bible where Adam hypothesized this or Moses had a theory that. Everything these men wrote was based on the facts as they witnessed them. The bible is from eye witness accounts, science is based on things someone found years later.
fashion accessories
Look at the scientists that the church (predominantly christian but all religions are equally guilty) has either jailed, denounced or excommunicated. Men like Gallileo, Tycho Brahe, Magellan... the list goes on.
After all, one of the first lessons taught in the bible is the one about Adam, Eve and the tree of KNOWLEDGE. They could eat from any tree but that one. What's that tell you? That knowledge is bad in any form and that blind faith is all a person needs.
Personally I hope for the day when religion is nothing more than an embarrasing footnote in the history of mankind.
When people finally reject mythology, they move ahead at tremendous speed. Those that are mired in the mess that is religion however, either move slower than continental drift, or simply go backwards.
"Religion is to knowledge as lead shoes are to swimming" do you agree with this statement?
You are right on. The inquisition comes to mind when I read your question. Julia is deluding herself, which is why she did not give any examples.
Reply:Be reasonable. Ever heard of… Isaac Newton? Robert Grosseteste? Sir Robert Boyd? Carolus Linnaeus? Blaise Pascal? Johannes Kepler? Roger Bacon? Charles Babbage? Pope John XXI? Nicolas Oresme? John Napier? Isaac Barrow? Robert Boyle? Gregor Mendel? Arthur Compton? The old CC was bad. Not religion. Report It
Reply:Charles Manson would agree with you.
Reply:WOW!!! That is a powerful statement. I love science, always have.
I have been a Christian all my fifty plus years and I never thought of religion quite that way.
In view of the recent arguing over stem cell research I may have to consider that as a possibility.
The scientists you mentioned, Gallileo, Tycho Brahe, Magellan... were from ages past and I do not know of any jailed recently for daring to disagree with the church. Mind you now they were jailed or persecuted when the church was in control of government. That part of religious interference is no longer a problem because we have a separation of church and state. At least in the U.S. Not so in some where Muslim leaders rule through the religious heirarchy. And Communism although it is anti-religious is a religion onto itself, without morals.
I can see your point of view as having some substance.
But there needs to be some balance between science and morals. Whether the morals come from religion or not is another matter. But I firmly believe that without religion there would be no morals.
I wouldn't want a condition where religion has total control of science either. If that were the case we would likely still not have a vaccine for smallpox because it would have been considered tampering with Gods' will.
I recently watched a DVD that covered the life of a scientist who I have loved dearly since childhood, Benjamin Franklin. At the time he lived, the leaders of the church taught that lightning was the work of God's will. If it struck your house and started a fire the people would think it the will of God and not try to save the house. They would throw water on the other buildings and let the house burn. Well, our much beloved scientist Ben Franklin was working on his theory of electricity and he proved that it was not the work of God by placing lightning rods on the buildings. His point was that if it were the work of God than the lightning rods wouldn't make any difference. God could avoid them if He intended that building to burn. So, THERE IS a definite instance where religion obstructed science.
But please consider for a moment the catastrophic results of science without the moral guidance of religion. Look at the horror of the most recent thing that comes to mind at the moment.
The atomic bomb.
It was used twice on Japan as a means to end the war without the need for a ground assault that would have taken hundreds of thousands of lives. Without some moral restraint in the use of that bomb it is possible there would have been ten of them dropped on Japan. There were some in the defense department so filled with hatred and resolve they would have bombed Japan into oblivion with every A-bomb they could build. The entire island would have been uninhabitable.
Consider also the "science" used by the Nazis. That is a perfect example of science without religion. Religion had been virtually abolished in Nazi Germany.
(Mind you now I don't blame all German people for this it was a "political" party. The U.S. has had its own hate groups, they just didn't manage to rise to power.)
The Nazi scientists used humans as guinea pigs to learn how long people could survive outside in freezing temperatures. They used them for medical experiments. Had medical students operate on them to learn techniques. If the patient died it didn't matter they were just test subjects. There were some experiments with bacteria to develop vaccines for the soldiers. There were more but that should be sufficient to make my point.
Science gave nations the ability to create nerve agents and the UN with some conscience, made it a war crime to use it. Where did that better judgment come from? The moral teachings of religion I would think.
The nature of rogue countries is to develop a weapon so terrible that no other country would dare challenge them. Look what is happening in North Korea. That country is a loose cannon that could start World War III.
Do you now see the other side of that coin we call science?
In the past and perhaps yet today, there was interference from religion as regards science but please consider the monster that could develop now with the increased knowledge and capabilities that didn't exist in the 1940's. As recent as 1995 Saddam Hussein used a nerve agent on several thousand people just because he didn't like them!
There must be something exerting a conscience on the scientists of the world or there could be chaos.
Scientists are not always honest. Look at the recent news of one who falsified his research. We can't place total trust in people like that to do what is right.
And look at all the drugs being created in the last ten years. Some have horrible side effects that cripple and even kill people but the drug companies and the scientists try to cover that up. Every so often the news of such will leak out and once again we are reminded that science is not to be allowed a free hand in all it does.
Consider that for awhile please.
We need science to continue developing new things for us. Better anitbiotics, alternate fuels, fabrics that last longer and better nutrition from the foods we already have. Better ways to grow food from land that hasn't been productive.
As Mr. Myiagi said in the movie "Karate Kid",
"Must first have balance."
Reply:I see what you are trying to say, but life without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Reply:I TOTALLY AGREE!!! I have been telling my friends the same thing for years. Have you by chance read "Angels and Demons" By Dan Brown? That is an awesome book and it has to do with what you are asking here. (Sorry, I don't know how to underline the title...)
If you haven't read it, you should.
Reply:Modern Christianity is definitely not thristy for knowledge. It thrives off of fear and the belief that everything secular is of the devil.
I agree with Julia that some early Catholic Monks made huge developments in scientific knowledge, but it was also this church that threw people in prison for heresy when they claimed the earth was not flat.
Modern Christianity's leaders inbed fear of knowledge and push total acceptance of their message as "the Word of God". Someday I hope people wake up and start thinking for themselves. I won't hold my breath, though...
Reply:Did you ever think that without religion and without the fear of hell that the world would be unbearable? People would do whatever they wanted - steal, murder, lie, rape, etc. Unless they got caught by the law, they would go unpunished. Most people develop their values and ethics based upon their religious beliefs.
And aren't you going to feel pretty silly when I'm enjoying the glorious eternal life in God's heavenly kingdom and your burning in hell.
Reply:Julia, you should do some reading outside of church propaganda. Ever heard of Galelio? How about Johan Kepler? Copernicus?
All of these people were prosecuted by the church for simply seeking the truth.
I do agree with this statement.
Reply:I only read your title, not the rest of your question and I agree that is a fair statement.
Reply:no religion increase knowledge
Reply:While I agree, I don't think it's as simple as that. I am no religious zealot, but I believe that religion probably played an integral part in our advancement. If we were to just push ahead for the sake of knowledge, regardless of the cost, with no real moral framework to judge ourselves by, this planet would likely be dust.
Conversely, I think that in today's world, religion is merely an outdated form of politics.
Reply:Yes
Reply:Are you joking? The Catholic Church was the patron of learning, of science, and of academia for centuries, especially during the Renaissance.
Without the Church, and without the Christianity-driven desire to know ourselves and our world better, we wouldn't have the knowledge that we have today.
Reply:Everything you've said is exactly backwards, oh ye of little understanding. I could prove it to you but your mind is too small to understand. As far as your lead statement, it is only true to those who refuse God. Without a doubt they will sink.
Reply:I'd say it's more like a life jacket. Those who don't know how to swim need it, but for those who do, it's only a hinderance.
Reply:Yeah, I agree.
Reply:I agree 100%.
Reply:One could certainly state that knowledge took a giant step backwards with the fall of Rome and the upswing of the church, and the resulting suppression of advanced information.
Certainly sexual matters are still in the dark ages because of it.
And persecution of their own. Joan of Arc said she heard the voice of God and was burned for it.
Later on, when the church admitted an "error", she was still not considered a martyr, as the church cannot martyr one of its own.
As to Adam and Eve, why are all sins forgiven and all sinners forgiven, but not those two?
I don't know if I agree with that statement but perhaps an alternative.
If you are drowning thirty feet from shore, religion is a rope twenty feet long.
What do you think?
Reply:Religion, you say. Can you not separate organized religion and what MEN do in the name of God- from God Himself? Then you are not as smart as you think you are. The wrongs that one human does to another is not from God. The Adam and Eve story tells me that God, our creator of infinite wisdom- (that means more wisdom than you or I can fathom)- expects obedience. But He also gave us freewill- the ability to think for ourselves, which Adam %26amp; Eve showed they wanted to do. They already had paradise, but there was evil they were warned about, like when a parent tells you not to play on the highway- for your own good. It's not the kind of knowledge you are talking about- yes we should think for ourselves, and learn all you can in life-but it does all come back to faith. You have the wrong idea, my friend. To be as smart as you think you are, you are completely missing the boat.
Reply:Heh,
Yeah, maybe. It does not directly help science by any means.
But it does allow for a stable society in most cases, and science needs that to operate. Yeah, geniuses are some times held back by the priest class, but they would have never gotten started otherwise.
Hard call. Really. So if humans did not have religion, what do we have, rule of the jungle? Think about it. If the human race was without constraining moral rules, which is after all what religion is about, what would the place look like?
Yeah, I know, we have civil law, and it is based on what?
(shrug)
Complex question dude.
-Dio
Reply:I don't agree. It might have been when people weren't exposed to science and opposing thought but today people are more sophisticated and thoughtfully choose their religious beliefs.
Reply:no
Reply:I disagree with you and the julia pattern answers,
Take for example the druids, they believed their God was the moon and the sun, but they eventually in trying to understand their God via stonehenge realized . . a calendar of orbit of moon around earth (and i guess sun around earth but we dont know that really do we)
Essentially the druids religion made their religion . . . obsolete . . . and was able to give them a calendar.
So there is obviously the cult mythology type religion, pray to jesus and your soul becomes righteous and i don't know why anyone wouldnt love and serve god oh no they must be empty, which is sick and abuseive,
and the real religion, which attempts to understand nature, and indeed, in doing that, find an absense of God, but the scientific underworkings of the Universe.
Maybe Druids were secular humanists that just had drunken orgy rituals,
Reply:Faith-based religions, such as Christianity, are antagonistic to
knowledge. The fly in the ointment is faith. Religion isn't the problem.
So your statement is false. You should have said "faith" or some faith-based religion.
What is "knowledge" has to be demonstrable. A religion not based on faith is not antagonistic to knowledge. It can be full of
crap, but in that case it can learn why it is full of crap. A faith-based religion can't, etc.
Reply:Generally yes.
The priesthood has kept knowledge to themselves and suppressed investigation several times.
My favorite is the "your fields must have a sabbath because God said so" bit in the Bible. No mention that leaving a field fallow every now and then was good agricultural practice... just the "God said so" thing.
Reply:I disagree. Religion fills you full of knowledge that's why we go to church every Sunday and have a Preacher that teaches us the word. It's a continual learning process.
People say that the stories in the bible are a myth because men wrote the bible. However, believe in science. Now, wasn't science and scientific methods created by man? Most science is learned the same way as religion through lectures/preaching and books. So, you have a bible which is made by man and a science book which is made by man. So, how can science prove anything if its made by man, if the bible can't under that very premise? Doesn't that make people who believe in science just as "stupid" as they say Christians are for believing in a man made stories? Just because someone wrote that the rings on a tree mean this and don't mean it does. So, we can argue that you believe in a man made book of fictional stories as well. Just because they say they found evidence and tried to prove it with a man made method don't mean it's real. Science don't have all the answers hence the Big Bang "theory". Theory impies its not certain. I'm not trying to down science or trying to say that I don't believe some of the things it has found (I'm just trying to make a point). I do know there is no theories about God everything in the bible either is or isn't. I've never read in the bible where Adam hypothesized this or Moses had a theory that. Everything these men wrote was based on the facts as they witnessed them. The bible is from eye witness accounts, science is based on things someone found years later.
fashion accessories
What do you think of my Poem?
Fall Foliage
Fall is in the Air
Air that is abundant with Childhood memories
Memories that bring back thoughts of Apple bobbing
Apples that fell from my Grandfathers Ochard trees
Tree's where me and my Brother climbed
Climbed up a rock hill were I fell while my brother laughed
Laughter that stopped when he passed
Passed to a better place a place where Heaven is always Fall
Fall where my Grandmother would trip over the old linoleum floor in her kitchen
Kitchen where she would make my favorite Blackberry cobbler each Thanksgiving Dinner
Dinner where all my family were Happy and Cheerful
Cheerful despite the the pain and suffering we experienced being poor
Poor wearing Bread sacks over my shoes to protect my feet from the Snow
Snow that made my life hard while I feed the Cattle while it brightened my spirit by it's beauty
Beauty my Mother baking Aapple pies while weeping that my father's love was gone
Gone but not lost is my memories of Fall and Love
Love of my family and loved ones that have passed
Passed is summer and Fall brings back wonderful memories of Love
Love that I give to all that I encounter
Encountering a fall filled with love
What do you think of my Poem?
I like the pattern here, especially the part about grandma tripping over the linoleum floor. And the sad part about your brother.
This is good. my elderly mother would love to read this.
Reply:Thats a really nice poem ........really goood one
Reply:i thogutht that was relly cool the way u set it up. ending with a certain word and then starting with that same word. thats pretty neat. And it was very nicely written
website design
Fall is in the Air
Air that is abundant with Childhood memories
Memories that bring back thoughts of Apple bobbing
Apples that fell from my Grandfathers Ochard trees
Tree's where me and my Brother climbed
Climbed up a rock hill were I fell while my brother laughed
Laughter that stopped when he passed
Passed to a better place a place where Heaven is always Fall
Fall where my Grandmother would trip over the old linoleum floor in her kitchen
Kitchen where she would make my favorite Blackberry cobbler each Thanksgiving Dinner
Dinner where all my family were Happy and Cheerful
Cheerful despite the the pain and suffering we experienced being poor
Poor wearing Bread sacks over my shoes to protect my feet from the Snow
Snow that made my life hard while I feed the Cattle while it brightened my spirit by it's beauty
Beauty my Mother baking Aapple pies while weeping that my father's love was gone
Gone but not lost is my memories of Fall and Love
Love of my family and loved ones that have passed
Passed is summer and Fall brings back wonderful memories of Love
Love that I give to all that I encounter
Encountering a fall filled with love
What do you think of my Poem?
I like the pattern here, especially the part about grandma tripping over the linoleum floor. And the sad part about your brother.
This is good. my elderly mother would love to read this.
Reply:Thats a really nice poem ........really goood one
Reply:i thogutht that was relly cool the way u set it up. ending with a certain word and then starting with that same word. thats pretty neat. And it was very nicely written
website design
Can I sue my neighbors???
here is a story :I have lived in my house since 2005,never really had any interactions with my neighbors on the left side of the property they are old and dont speak english that well...our driveways were separated by line of 5 trees until today when they decided to cut them down without our permision.They have asked us couple of month ago if we care if the trees go and we said that we really like having those trees during summer time because of the shade and it also makes our house look nicer. Well i got home today just to see my driveway covered in branches from the trees ... I was pissed... and they are not home so i cant ask them why the hell did they cut them down after we told them not to. My house lost its curbapeal....So my question is, how can I find out who did those trees belong to(whose piece of land is it )?do we have to call city inspector or appraiser?do they charge for this info?how much ? can i sue my neighbors for doing this ? what would you do if you were in my shoes
Can I sue my neighbors???
They belong to whoever owns the property they sit on. You might need a surveyor to establish where the property line is.
Reply:It is essential that you determine where your property line runs. This may require a survey by a licensed surveyor. But first check the recorded subdivision plat in the record room at the courthouse. And look at the tax assessor's aerial map to see if it shows the trees on your property. Neither of these documents is conclusive proof but it may clue you in as to whether or not you owned the trees.
If the trees turn out to be on your neighbor's land, you have NO claim to them and a lawsuit against your neighbor would likely be a waste of your time and money. You likely would lose any lawsuit if you cannot PROVE you own the trees. A survey will establish the proof clearly. Surveys may cost a few hundred dollars so be sure you are serious about taking action against your neighbor.
If the trees WERE on your land, then certainly you can sue your neighbor for the lost value. In court, you will need to present evidence of the amount of dollar loss you have incurred due to the loss of the trees. The dollar loss can be substantial in some cases and well worth the cost of a lawsuit. You will need to consult an attorney regarding this case if the trees are yours. An attorney will present the evidence you obtain to your neighbor to support your claim that the trees were yours along with a demand for payment. If your neighbor refuses to pay, the attorney will ask you to pay the costs of his services in advance and then will file a lawsuit for you.
A licensed appraiser can calculate the value of damage to your property from the loss of the trees and will provide expert testimony in court as to that value. And the value of the trees can be substantial. A recent demand by the Mississippi Department of Transportation for five Magnolia trees that were cut by mistake calculated the value of the trees as being over $83,000. This case was settled by an agreement to pay $14,112.
If you win the lawsuit, your neighbor may have to pay your money damages, your legal expenses, and court costs. Keep in mind that any settlement may include an offer by your neighbor to replace the trees, especially if they were not huge trees. Often even fairly small to medium sized trees can be replanted from nursery stock, which may mean you do not actually get any money...just more trees!!
Good luck.
Reply:First you need to find out who's trees they are. Just because you liked them and wanted to keep them doesn't mean you have standing to sue.
If they were yours you need to document the loss of home value vs. the cost of replacement and the likelihood of winning the case.
Reply:I would follow through with a yes to all your questions and have a hearing at the city hall. Contact your local parks and recreation and see what they say about the beautification laws in your area.
Point blank they destroyed your property if they were indeed on your property...
Good Luck...
Reply:cutting tress is illegal...you have to report your neighbor to the DENR office. im sure thres no charge for that.
Reply:Kristina were you considering selling your house? From the tone of your question it sounds like you were mainly concerned over the "curb appeal" and possible reduction in the value of your home. I am from the South originally so I also understand the incalculable importance of shade from trees. I know you said this just happened but I am really intrigued to know why your neighbors decided to do this. To answer your question you can call your county or city hall if you are within city limits. The county is untimately responsible for anual property assessments to determine what you must pay each year in property tax. They appraise your home as well. If I were in your shoes I would contact the county land office at once. Property lines are sometimes ambiguous to home onwers but county records usually determine exactly which owner has ownership and where properties are divided. Good luck ~K~
Reply:Are the trees on your property or theirs?
If the trees are located on their property you can't sue anyone.
Every judge in the U.S. will throw that lawsuit out of court.
Reply:Yes, and I WOULD.
Call a landscape company and have them give you an estimate on replacing the trees at the SAME height that you had before (and yes, they can do that) with the labor and 1 year maintenance included to put them in the ground.
That is how much you sue for.
Landscaping adds a huge amount of curb appeal.
performing arts
Can I sue my neighbors???
They belong to whoever owns the property they sit on. You might need a surveyor to establish where the property line is.
Reply:It is essential that you determine where your property line runs. This may require a survey by a licensed surveyor. But first check the recorded subdivision plat in the record room at the courthouse. And look at the tax assessor's aerial map to see if it shows the trees on your property. Neither of these documents is conclusive proof but it may clue you in as to whether or not you owned the trees.
If the trees turn out to be on your neighbor's land, you have NO claim to them and a lawsuit against your neighbor would likely be a waste of your time and money. You likely would lose any lawsuit if you cannot PROVE you own the trees. A survey will establish the proof clearly. Surveys may cost a few hundred dollars so be sure you are serious about taking action against your neighbor.
If the trees WERE on your land, then certainly you can sue your neighbor for the lost value. In court, you will need to present evidence of the amount of dollar loss you have incurred due to the loss of the trees. The dollar loss can be substantial in some cases and well worth the cost of a lawsuit. You will need to consult an attorney regarding this case if the trees are yours. An attorney will present the evidence you obtain to your neighbor to support your claim that the trees were yours along with a demand for payment. If your neighbor refuses to pay, the attorney will ask you to pay the costs of his services in advance and then will file a lawsuit for you.
A licensed appraiser can calculate the value of damage to your property from the loss of the trees and will provide expert testimony in court as to that value. And the value of the trees can be substantial. A recent demand by the Mississippi Department of Transportation for five Magnolia trees that were cut by mistake calculated the value of the trees as being over $83,000. This case was settled by an agreement to pay $14,112.
If you win the lawsuit, your neighbor may have to pay your money damages, your legal expenses, and court costs. Keep in mind that any settlement may include an offer by your neighbor to replace the trees, especially if they were not huge trees. Often even fairly small to medium sized trees can be replanted from nursery stock, which may mean you do not actually get any money...just more trees!!
Good luck.
Reply:First you need to find out who's trees they are. Just because you liked them and wanted to keep them doesn't mean you have standing to sue.
If they were yours you need to document the loss of home value vs. the cost of replacement and the likelihood of winning the case.
Reply:I would follow through with a yes to all your questions and have a hearing at the city hall. Contact your local parks and recreation and see what they say about the beautification laws in your area.
Point blank they destroyed your property if they were indeed on your property...
Good Luck...
Reply:cutting tress is illegal...you have to report your neighbor to the DENR office. im sure thres no charge for that.
Reply:Kristina were you considering selling your house? From the tone of your question it sounds like you were mainly concerned over the "curb appeal" and possible reduction in the value of your home. I am from the South originally so I also understand the incalculable importance of shade from trees. I know you said this just happened but I am really intrigued to know why your neighbors decided to do this. To answer your question you can call your county or city hall if you are within city limits. The county is untimately responsible for anual property assessments to determine what you must pay each year in property tax. They appraise your home as well. If I were in your shoes I would contact the county land office at once. Property lines are sometimes ambiguous to home onwers but county records usually determine exactly which owner has ownership and where properties are divided. Good luck ~K~
Reply:Are the trees on your property or theirs?
If the trees are located on their property you can't sue anyone.
Every judge in the U.S. will throw that lawsuit out of court.
Reply:Yes, and I WOULD.
Call a landscape company and have them give you an estimate on replacing the trees at the SAME height that you had before (and yes, they can do that) with the labor and 1 year maintenance included to put them in the ground.
That is how much you sue for.
Landscaping adds a huge amount of curb appeal.
performing arts
Yo momma joke contest?
Yo momma so poor...
Her face is on the front of a food stamp.
That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.
When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
I visited yo momma's house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
Only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...
When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
Closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...
She had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Even Beggars give you money.
She bounces food stamps.
She can't even afford to pay attention.
She uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.
She uses chewing gum as a band aid.
She lives in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.
She uses white-out as a tooth filler.
She can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...
Her idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!
--------------------------------------...
Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.
Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like ****.
Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed
Yo momma joke contest?
Oh yah?
Yo mammas so stupid she stared at the orange juice can cuz' it said 'Concentrate'
Yo Mammas so stupid she tripped on the cord of a cordless phone
Yo mammas so stupid that when she got locked in a grocery store she nearly died of starvation
Yo mama so stupid she tried putting m%26amp;ms into alphabetical order
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!
Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Reply:Those made my laugh!!!! Thanks!!!
"She hangs toliet paper out to dry" is very gross yet funny!!
10/10
A star 4 u!!!
Reply:Yo momma so poor, she can't pay attention.
Yo momma so ugly... people pay her to keep her clothes on.
Yo momma like a hockey player, don't change her pads for 3 periods.
Yo momma like a 7-11, always open for business.
Reply:Hahahha
Yo mamma so old she sat behind jesus in the 3rd grade.
Reply:Yo momma's so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed a whole season of survivor.
Reply:Yo Momma is so fat that when she wears her Malcolm X t-shirt, helicopters try to land on her.
Reply:LOL that was hilarious
Reply:I only have 2 but they are OK.
Your momma so fat, she jumped in the ocean and all the whales started singing "We are family! Even though your fatter than me!"
Your momma so poor, I went into her house an kicked a skateboard and she said, "Stop moving my couch!"
Reply:Yo mama's so fat she cut her leg and gravy came out
Your mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin
Your mama's so fat, she went to the opera and nobody would leave until she sang
Your mama's so fat, she can rent shade
Your mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck
Your mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip
Your mama's so fat, smaller women orbit around her
Your mama's so fat, she wears a microwave oven for a beeper
Reply:Cute! Funny!
:)
necklace
Her face is on the front of a food stamp.
That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.
When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
I visited yo momma's house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
Only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...
When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
Closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...
She had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Even Beggars give you money.
She bounces food stamps.
She can't even afford to pay attention.
She uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.
She uses chewing gum as a band aid.
She lives in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.
She uses white-out as a tooth filler.
She can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...
Her idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!
--------------------------------------...
Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.
Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like ****.
Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed
Yo momma joke contest?
Oh yah?
Yo mammas so stupid she stared at the orange juice can cuz' it said 'Concentrate'
Yo Mammas so stupid she tripped on the cord of a cordless phone
Yo mammas so stupid that when she got locked in a grocery store she nearly died of starvation
Yo mama so stupid she tried putting m%26amp;ms into alphabetical order
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!
Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Reply:Those made my laugh!!!! Thanks!!!
"She hangs toliet paper out to dry" is very gross yet funny!!
10/10
A star 4 u!!!
Reply:Yo momma so poor, she can't pay attention.
Yo momma so ugly... people pay her to keep her clothes on.
Yo momma like a hockey player, don't change her pads for 3 periods.
Yo momma like a 7-11, always open for business.
Reply:Hahahha
Yo mamma so old she sat behind jesus in the 3rd grade.
Reply:Yo momma's so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed a whole season of survivor.
Reply:Yo Momma is so fat that when she wears her Malcolm X t-shirt, helicopters try to land on her.
Reply:LOL that was hilarious
Reply:I only have 2 but they are OK.
Your momma so fat, she jumped in the ocean and all the whales started singing "We are family! Even though your fatter than me!"
Your momma so poor, I went into her house an kicked a skateboard and she said, "Stop moving my couch!"
Reply:Yo mama's so fat she cut her leg and gravy came out
Your mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin
Your mama's so fat, she went to the opera and nobody would leave until she sang
Your mama's so fat, she can rent shade
Your mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck
Your mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip
Your mama's so fat, smaller women orbit around her
Your mama's so fat, she wears a microwave oven for a beeper
Reply:Cute! Funny!
:)
necklace
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