Are you Bored?

474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling


- Rearrange political campaign signs


- Sharpen your teeth


- Play Houdini with one of your siblings


- Braid your dog's hair


- Clean and polish your belly button


- Water your dog...see if he grows


- Wash a tree


- Knight yourself


- Name your child Edsel


- Scare Stephen King


- Give your cat a mohawk


- Purr


- Mow your carpet


- Play Pat Boone records backwards


- Vacuum your lawn


- Sleep on a bed of nails


- DON'T toss and turn


- Boil ice cream


- Run around in squares


- Think of quadruple entendres


- Speak in acronyms


- Have your pillow X-rayed


- Drink straight shots...of water


- Calmly have a nervous breakdown


- Give your goldfish a perm


- Fly a brick


- Play tag...on West 35th Street


- Exorcise a ghost


- Exercise a ghost


- Be blue


- Be red


- But don't be orange


- Plant a shoe


- Sweat


- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil


- Turn


- Write a letter to Plato


- Mail it


- Take your sofa for a walk


- Start


- Stop


- Dial 911 and breathe heavily


- Go to a funeral...tell jokes


- Play the piano...with mittens on


- Scheme


- Sit


- Stay


- Water your family room


- Cause a power failure


- Roll over


- Play dead


- Find a witch


- Burn her


- Donate your brother's body to science


- Ask why


- Wriggle


- Regress


- Sleepwalk without sleeping


- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail


- Wonder


- Be a square root


- Ask stupid questions


- Weld your car doors shut


- Spew


- Vacation at Three-Mile Island


- Surf Ohio


- Teach your pet rock to play dead


- Go bowling for small game


- Be a monk...for a day


- Wear a sweatband to your wedding


- Staple


- Run away


- Intimidate a piece of chalk


- Abuse the plumbing


- Bend a florescent light


- Bend a brick


- Annoy total strangers


- Let the best man win


- Believe in Santa Claus


- Throw marshmallows against the wall


- Hold an ice cube as long as possible


- Adopt strange mannerisms


- Blow up a balloon until it pops


- Sing soft and sweet and clear


- Sing loud and sour and gravely


- Open everything


- Balance a pencil on your nose


- Pour milk in your shoes


- Write graffiti under the rug


- Embarrass yourself


- Grind your teeth


- Chew ice


- Count your belly button


- Sit in a row


- Stack crumbs


- Gesture


- Save your toenail clippings


- Make a pass at your blender


- Punt


- Make up words that start with X


- Make oatmeal in the bathtub


- Search for the Lost Chord


- Chew on a sofa cushion


- Sing a duet


- Balance a pillow on your head


- Hold your breath


- Faint


- Stretch


- Flash your mailman


- Teach your TA English


- Learn to speak Farsi


- Swear in Russian


- Use an eraser until it goes away


- Disassemble your car


- Put it together inside out


- Record your walls


- Interview your feet


- Make a list of your favorite fungi


- Sell formaldehyde


- Repeat


- Ad lib


- Fade


- File your teeth - Whine


- Rake your carpet


- Re-elect Richard Nixon


- Critique "Three's Company"


- Listen to a painting


- Play with matches


- Buff your cat


- Race ferrets


- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange


- Have a formal dinner at White Castle


- Read Homer in the original Greek


- Learn Greek


- Change your mind


- Change it back


- Watch the sun...see if it moves


- Build a pyramid


- Stand on your head


- Stand on someone else's head


- Spit shine your Nikes


- See how long you can stay awake


- See how long you can sleep


- Paint your teeth


- Wear a salad


- Speak with a forked tongue


- Paint stripes on a lake


- Ski Kansas


- Sleep in freefall


- Kill a Joule


- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick


- Apply for a unicorn hunting license


- Do a good job


- Crawl


- Invite the Mansons over for dinner


- Paint your windows


- Watch a watch until it stops


- Flash your goldfish


- Paint


- Flirt with an evergreen


- Smile


- Rotate your garden...daily


- Paint a smile


- Shoot a fire hydrant


- Apologize to it


- Pretend you're blind


- Annoy yourself


- Get mad at yourself


- Stop speaking to yourself


- Be a side effect


- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley


- Duck


- Redecorate...your garage


- Develop a complex


- Join the Army...be someone simple


- Try harder


- Hit the deck


- Put leg-warmers on your furniture


- Cut the deck


- Crumple


- Translate Shakespeare into English


- Skydive to church


- Cheer up a potato


- Do aerobic exercises...in your head


- Play cards with your swimming pool


- Pinstripe your driveway


- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant


- Harness chipmunk power


- Build a house with ice cubes


- Call London for a cab


- Mug a stop sign


- Change your name...daily


- Go for a walk in your attic


- Challenge your neighbor to a duel


- Build a house out of toothpicks


- Howl


- Wear a lampshade on your head


- Memorize the dictionary


- Stomp grapes in the bathtub


- Find a bug and chase it


- Make yourself a pair of wings


- Be immobile


- Dance 'til you drop


- Check under chairs for chewing gum


- Squish a loaf of bread


- Moo


- Bounce a potato


- Outmaneuver your shadow


- Climb the walls


- Appreciate everything


- Challenge yourself to a duel


- Make napalm


- Tattoo your dresser


- Watch a bowling ball


- Buy some diapers


- Eat everything


- Begin


- Pour milk in the sink


- Make cottage cheese


- Tie-dye your sheets


- Carpet your ceiling


- Hold your earlobes


- Fold your earlobes


- Flap


- Squawk


- Read tea leaves


- Analyze the Koran


- Be Buddha


- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize


- Plug in the cat


- Turn on everything


- Drop pebbles down the chimney


- Turn off your neighbor


- Kill a plant


- Buy a 1931 Almanac


- Memorize the weather section


- Think lewd thoughts about yourself


- Blow bubbles


- Send chills down your spine


- Peel grapes


- Make paper from the skins


- Bloat


- Catch them with your radiator


- Get run over by a train of thought


- Make up famous sayings


- Bite your pinkie - Get your dog braces


- Shave a shrub


- Have a proton fight


- Watch a car rust


- Quiver


- Rotate your carpet


- Learn to type...with your toes


- Set up your Christmas tree in April


- Be someone special


- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge


- Mail it to a friend


- Go back to square one


- Factor your social security number


- Take the fifth


- Memorize a series of random numbers


- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages


- Join the Foreign Legion


- Learn Sanskrit


- Exist...existentially, of course


- Print counterfeit Confederate money


- Kick a cabbage


- Take a picture


- Put it back


- Sandpaper a mushroom


- Play solitaire...for cash


- Abuse your patio furniture


- Run for Pope


- Count to a million...fast


- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock


- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife


- Revert


- Think shallow thoughts


- Starch your shoes


- Polish your Calvin's


- Contemplate a cockroach


- Get a dog to chase your car


- Let him catch it


- Investigate the Czar


- Form a political party


- Climb a sidewalk


- Have a political party


- Get diagonal...with a good friend


- Ride a loaf of bread


- Sharpen a carrot


- Interrogate a gerbil


- Go bow hunting for Toyotas


- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids


- Jump back


- Play to lose


- Scalp a street light


- Have your car painted...plaid


- Read a tomato


- Sharpen your sleeping skills


- Watch a game show...take notes


- Put out a fire


- If you can't find a fire, make one


- Interview a cloud


- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood


- Play basketball...in a minefield


- Don't talk to things


- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling


- Have your cat bronzed


- Have your gerbil gilded


- Write books about writing books


- Create random equations


- Mispell words


- Tell your feet a joke


- Throw a tomato into a fan


- Sing the ABC song backwards


- Pretend you're a dog


- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it


- Grease the doorknobs


- String up a room


- Stack furniture


- Relive fond memories


- Tie your shoelaces together


- Gargle


- Count your teeth with your tongue


- Decay


- Find your half-life


- Design a better toilet seat


- Shred a newspaper


- Have a headache


- Scratch


- Sniff


- Hatch an egg


- Play air guitar


- Act profound


- Spill


- Spell


- Stare


- Truncate


- Slouch


- Develop hearing problems


- Put your feet behind your head


- Tie bows in everything


- Hold your hand


- Watch the minute hand move


- Grow your fingernails


- Pretend you're a telephone


- Ring


- Radiate


- Skip


- Play hopscotch...with real scotch


- Clock the velocity of your REMs


- Put your shoes on the opposite feet


- Cross your toes


- Roll your tongue


- Crystallize


- Baby oil the floor


- Hide


- Attack innocent bunnies


- Declare war


- Destroy a tree


- Hide the scrabble bag


- Seduce your stick shift


- Wink


- Memorize the periodic table


- Mummify


- Pretend you're a roadie


- Buy a Ginsu knife


- Collect electrons


- Correct typos that aren't there


- Polish your neck...use Pledge


- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God


- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car


- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet


- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes


- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture


- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending


- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")


- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother


- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong


- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail


- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire


- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before


- Walk on water...but don't get caught


- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen


- Be in the wrong place at the right time


- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board


- Request covert assistance from the CIA


- Discover the source of the Mississippi


- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska


- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes


- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is


- Drink as much prune juice as you can


- Write a book about your previous life


- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres


- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock


- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins


- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels


- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow


- Drive the speed limit...in your garage


- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final


- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna


- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check


- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people


- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas


- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes


- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster


- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement


- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English


- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good


- job they're doing...On April 1st


- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor


- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them


- Turn your TV picture tube upside down


- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy


- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets


- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks


- Be planar...but don't tell your parents


- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck


- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed


- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed


- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese


- Debate politics with a fern


- See how small you can scrunch your face - Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis


- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)


- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation


- Raise professional certified racing turnips


- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation


- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.


- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank


- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway


- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first


- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch


- Send your goldfish to obedience school


- Free the oppressed toasters of America


- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing


- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave


- Park your car...with a friend


- Park your car...with a group of friends


- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy


- Place it on the wall of your office


- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)


- Contribute to the population problem


- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign


- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor


- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife


- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway


- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night


- Play with anything that looks interesting


- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first


- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water


- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work


- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up


- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")


- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design


- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock


- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like


- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house


- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while


- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green


- Bronze your sister's turtle


- See how long it takes for her to notice


- See what she does when she notices


- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.


- Increase your territorial holdings by force


- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat


- Boldly go where no man has gone before


- Be a threat to the American way of life


- Do research into the cause of World War III


- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life


- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh

Are you Bored?
most of that stuff i cant do b/c im at work
Reply:what a scream! If anyone could scare Stephen King that would be a real achievement! You are very creative. Love it! Report It

Reply:I would rather play a round of Scrabble at Scrabulous!
Reply:Interesting, but you could always play the pingu bashing game... my whole office is hooked.





http://www.flumps.org/funny/bloodypingu/





P.S. salmon
Reply:i guess you are unemployed
Reply:I like the, "Pay off the national debt...with a bad check" and "Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
Reply:lol... very original good stuff.
Reply:I'd like a Molotov cocktail please barkeep.
Reply:OK, didn't read all of these because too long...but...





puuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...





That should answer your question. ;-)



performing arts