What should i call this poem?? PLEASE HELP!!?

If you think trouble is a cat in a tree


And the worst pain of all is the sting of a bee


If you think a problem is a broken nail


If an ordeal is a letter lost in the mail


If tradgedy is you missed the bus


If an unruly rooms causes out-of-hand fuss


If a rip-off is buying overpriced shoes


Then this is going to be way more than news.





Getting sick can be more than a cough


A switch can mean more than to turn on or off


Starving may not be quite what you think


A cold glass of water may not be a drink


Sometimes our messes get a bit out of hand


And grow into issues beyond our command


What a child calls a crush may rise above


And change from, "I like you" to a thing called, "love"


Not everything is what it may seem


Be prepared for surprises when you wake from your dream





P.S.


i'm 11 and this poem was inspired by my mom's close friend who has non-hopkins lymphoma

What should i call this poem?? PLEASE HELP!!?
I really liked your poem. You did a good job. I also liked either of those titles, as well.
Reply:Maybe "Meanings" or "Secrets" or a combination.





Or you can just call it "To (whatever your mom's friend's name is)





I think it's a wonderful poem. You have quite the budding talent. Please keep writing.
Reply:"Life's Dilemma". I recon....Because in your such a nice poem you have shown the life from many different but dark sides which people normally never think on or try to see untill they themselves experience it.
Reply:I don't lie to people so believe me when I say that your poem is much better than some of the college level material that I have read. You should really nuture your gift and take some creative writing and poetry classes. Name it whatever you think feels right. One thing I would do though is add the word "that" to If tradgedy is you missed the buss. I think it should read, if tragedy is that you missed the bus. Also add "just" before news in the last sentance of the first stanza. I would also add "just" to the first line in the second stanza before a cough. Sorry i just feel it would be more effectual and i think it would help it flow better. You could entitle it things are not always what they seem.


Or just simply "Reality".
Reply:IS EVERYTHING QUITE AS IT SEEMS . thats what i think you should call it. GOOD POEM well done you.x
Reply:Your revision is far better than your original, well done. Still one typo though..."tragedy", not "tradgedy" :)





Since you're telling someone that what they think is "bad" or a "tragedy" is not as bad as they think, that their health is worth more than gold, you have a few options.





One would be to call it "perspective", giving it neither a lighthearted feel nor a too somber feel...another would be to spin it light and call it "It could be worse", but since the one who inspired it was such a serious illness...well, it might be a little "too light". Another option is to take the approach that we should be "thankful" for what we have instead of stressing over life's problems.





"Be Thankful"


"Thankful"


"Perspective"


"It Could Be Worse"


"Not What You Thought"





just some ideas. Again...nice job on the editing.
Reply:you're 11? this is one of the 2 best poems ive seen here. i am truly amazed. Perspective.
Reply:I'm 11 too and you honestly have great talent. I wish half of my grade was deep enough to even THINK that, none the less put it into poetry. I suggest maybe, "The Unknown World, the Real World" I dunno, Because in the first paragraph its what people think the world is, and the second paragraph is the real world, that hardly anyone know about. Good luck.
Reply:Thats a real good piece of work!!


How about "reality's wake-up call"?


Your titles are pretty good too!
Reply:Great peom for someone your age... keep on writing!
Reply:That's a good poem. I hope your mom's friend is doing okay--lots of people go into remission for a long time--I hope she's one of those people.





Your ideas are good. I might also suggest "Surprises" or "Not Everything Is What It May Seem" or "When You Wake From your Dream" because those are all things you wrote near the end of your poem.
Reply:It could be worse.
Reply:Life at the End of Dreams
Reply:This is very very very good.





How about "What it Seems"
Reply:The Sting of a Bee





p.s. truly good poetry, keep at it! This is good enuf to publish.
Reply:I love your poem! you have talen girl! keep writing! as for the name....well, maybe, "When you wake from your dream" or "Not Real Problems at all"




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