Can you pleeease rate my poem? PLEEEEEASE.?

it may look kind of long, but it takes about 1 minute to read, I swear! please give me some helpful tips if you can. thanks!








WOLF





i picked you up





when you were a kitten





this tiny shoe box





was all you would fit in.











Now it sits on the mantel





next to the urn,





you are long gone,





but these ashes still burn.











Sometimes I think back





to when we were young,





back to that summer,





our friendship begun.











At first you were scared,





confused, and lost,





born into darkness,





and a cold winter's frost.











But when summer came





I took you home,





I showed you this grass





where you could roam.











And roam, you did!





frolicking with joy,





the sweet-smelling clover





was your favorite toy.











You made me laugh





when you jumped in the air.





You climbed only tall trees,





and played with my hair.











Your blue eyes would shine





like a creature not tame





and that is the reason





"Wolf" was your name.











The grey fur on your back,





the twist in your tail,





looking so beautiful,





you never did fail.











Every moment we spent





I wished would not end.





It was not long before





You became my best friend.











When I was happy,





I could hear you purr.





If I was mad,





I buried my face in your fur.











We lived through the good times,





and got through the bad,





you were my shoulder





when i felt sad.











And when I was bored,





you'd lay in my lap,





your face always smiled,





and your tail would tap.











You grew up well--





into a handsome young cat,





your eyes now amber,





big, round, and fat.











The years flew by,





you were more than a pet,





but soon it was decided,





you should see the vet.











You seemed so fine,





that i thought it was a trick,





when the vet told me,





"This cat is so sick."











But I was not worried,





they'd run some dumb test,





Wolf would be fine,





my cat was the best.











And when the vet told me





my cat was to die,





I shed not a tear,





because that was a lie.











But the look on his face





said this was true





my heart seemed to fail,





I needed you.











I had a flashback of years





that we'd spent together,





I was a fool to believe





that they'd last forever.











I walked in the room,





saw you one last time,





I said my goodbyes,





much like this ryhme.











And as I spoke,





you watch through cage bars.





Those eyes still shining,





like two bright stars.











Then you reached through,





placed your paw on my hand,





why I was sad,





you could not understand.











I then turned around,





and walked out that door,





the tears welled up,





I couldn't take any more.











"Why!?" I screamed,





"Why take him from me!?





He's my best friend!





Why don't you see?"











But of course, no answer,





I never knew why,





in the end all I could do





was break down and cry.











Now the box is on the mantel,





next to the urn,





and I just don't know why,





these ashes still burn.

Can you pleeease rate my poem? PLEEEEEASE.?
Wow, it's really good.It reminds me of the time when my own pet died and I was so very lost. I did not know how to express my grief in words and it has never healed but I should say that reading your poem today has been a great relief for me. I know that this is not helping you much with what you need and are lookking for but all I have to say is a big 'Thank You'.
Reply:Hey this was good..


It had alot of emotion which is always good for the reader.


Some tips...


At the begining you were rhyming lines 1 and 3 and 2 and 4 then in the middle you kind of changed the scheme which made it not flow as well. your syllabls were matching well in the begining as well and kinda of faded off towards the middle and end.


having different rhyming schemes is definitly fine you have to make sure it still flows well. Or put the two differnet ways of rhyming in a pattern.
Reply:pretty damn good


it reads very nicely, i like the simplistic language as a crystal clear way to get your poem across. this poem can bring emotion, especially for pet lovers.
Reply:Wonderful! I love it! Almost made me cry...so much emotion
Reply:very well written. i give it a 10/10. i just lost a cat to a dog attack, and it just brings back memories...


great poem!
Reply:Wooww................ so good.


the simplicity of your poem is the best thing about it. It is also like a story...





10/10!!!!
Reply:I thoroughly enjoyed your poem, you have great talent! I't's been a while since I read a poem that rhymed on here. I enjoy poems that rhyme. You did a GREAT job!
Reply:this is such a beautiful poem. It had emotion and feeling. GREAT JOB



performing arts