What is your opinion of my modified Fall Poem?

Fall is in the Air





Air filled with the splendid colors of leafs that gave me the pleasure of their last memories





Memories of my childhood jumping into leafs that had changed from green to the colors of the rainbow





Rainbow pile of leafs a reflection of who I am now





Now I remember compassion of song





Singing in my fathers church choir





Choir where my friends and I laughed and teased each other before walking up the stairs where we would perform





Performing expressions of what we were taught while expressing myself with my own interpretation of love and music





Music that filled my soul with purpose and being





Being me different but without peace





Peace that is indifferent with childhood memories





Memories that bring back thoughts of apple bobbing





Bobbing for apples that fell from my grandfathers orchard trees





Trees where me and my brother climbed





Climbed up a rock hill where I fell while laughing at my brother's laughter





Laughter that paused for a short time when he passed





Passed to a better place a place where heaven is always fall





Fall my heart went when my grandmother passed





Passed was the blackberry cobbler's she would no longer serve





Served my grandfather a plate of BBQ a few months before he passed





Passing barbecue ribs and pictures of my pets while he sat in slumber not knowing first who I was but shared a story of his admiration of his brother that planted tomato plants where the rain water fell from the house gutters





Gutters not too far from where my great uncle hung himself a few years after his wife passed





Passed family members like the falling leafs of fall





Fall to me is a remembrance of the past





Past me a child remembering my grandfather’s wise words "be a peace maker" and "get a job in a office" words that I followed





Following him in his footsteps he was a WW2 vet and I took an office job in the Marines





Marines where I discovered myself a gay man with a purpose in life





Life me a person that has a love for the passing of one season to another





Another season approaches but I want to stay here in fall





Fall where the air is cool and crisp where my memories are clear





Clear is my love of fall





Fall gives reflection of my childhood





Childhood filled with bad and good





Good thanksgiving dinners where my family appeared happy and cheerful





Cheerful despite the the pain and suffering we experienced being poor





Poor wearing bread sacks over my shoes to protect my feet from the snow





Snow that made my walk to the barn difficult but the beauty of the snow was so overwhelming that my feet felt warm





Soul my mother's love that is unconditional though she lost the love of my father





Father that chose pride and greed over a his own family





Family that persevered through hardship





Hardship a memory still felt but is blinded by my love of fall and my memories of happiness





Happiness me a person that loves fall





Fall a passage from old to new





New me a new beginning.

What is your opinion of my modified Fall Poem?
It was a good poem . It was very emotional. It is a great way to end a Friday night. Good nite.
Reply:Pretty good. I only got halfway 'cause my short attention span, but it was nice. Good work.



flower